Groucho Marx credited as playing...
Emile J. Keck
- [Finding Emile J. Keck in Johnny Dalton's bath tub]
- Mr. Kofer: Well, I like THIS!
- Emile J. Keck: You do? Well, join me!
- Johnny Dalton: Emile, we don't have much time. Will you snap it up and get me the merchant's lunch.
- Emile J. Keck: Typical bank clerk. No real merchant ever ordered the merchant's lunch. Johnny, I've been telling you for years, you've got to learn to enjoy life, live dangerously! I'll get you the pickled pig's feet.
- Johnny Dalton: I hate pickled pig's feet!
- Emile J. Keck: These have all had pedicures.
- Emile J. Keck: You've been drinking, Johnny. Nobody in their right mind bets on horses.
- Johnny Dalton: You bet on 'em.
- Emile J. Keck: Never my own money. Only what I can borrow.
- Johnny Dalton: [singing] It's only money, It fluctuates, But there's this thing about it the poor snook without it, The girls don't give dates.
- Emile J. Keck: I love the artwork, the Treasury sure does smart work.
- Johnny Dalton, Emile J. Keck: The nicest people we know, Are the people who get their faces on dough. It's only money, It's only dough.
- Johnny Dalton: And the people who crave it.
- Emile J. Keck: Who worship and save it.
- Johnny Dalton, Emile J. Keck: All come to know, You can't take it with you when you go.
- Emile J. Keck: I've got some information for you. You can take a plane from the airport and be in Mexico City in eight hours.
- Johnny Dalton: Now, look Emile, I didn't rob the bank and I'm not taking a plane to any city.
- Emile J. Keck: Johnny, I don't whether you did or whether you didn't. I've got an open mind on the subject.
- Johnny Dalton: That's white of you.
- Emile J. Keck: Never tell a woman! She'll blab everything all over town, you'll have your picture in every post office by morning.
- Johnny Dalton: The important thing is to tell him the truth.
- Emile J. Keck: Do what?
- Johnny Dalton: The truth.
- Emile J. Keck: Oh, that old thing.
- J.L. McKissack: Mr. Keck, I'm only trying to get some information on your assets.
- Emile J. Keck: Never mind my assets, how are yours?
- Johnny Dalton: The bridal suite! You had to rent the bridal suite! What are you gonna do with three bedrooms?
- Emile J. Keck: I don't know. What does a bride do with 'em?
- R.B. Pulsifer Sr.: I hope you don't mind my dropping in on you like this, Emile?
- Emile J. Keck: Of course not. What's better than sitting here alone, waiting for some quiz program to call you?
- R.B. Pulsifer Sr.: Emile, I like you. You're not stuffy. You haven't let your money go to your head.
- Emile J. Keck: It's been an effort.
- R.B. Pulsifer Sr.: Incidentally, while we're speaking of it, do you mind my asking what is your business, Emile.
- Emile J. Keck: Pig's feet.
- R.B. Pulsifer Sr.: Pig's feet?
- Emile J. Keck: The largest packers of pickled pig's feet in the country. Wherever people eat, you'll find Keck's feet.
- Mildred 'Mibs' Goodhug: Emile, this isn't another one of your stories is it? This is the truth, isn't it?
- Emile J. Keck: If it isn't may I drop dead on this spot.
- [Mibs takes a drink, Emile moves to another place on the sofa]
- Emile J. Keck: You'll get lucky, Johnny. Look at my uncle Julius. When he got married he was a pauper, and overnight he made a fortune in the lumber business.
- Mildred 'Mibs' Goodhug: Overnight?
- Emile J. Keck: They discovered trees on his property.