Merry Mavericks (1951)

Shemp Howard: Shemp

Quotes 

• Shemp : Hey Moe, I don't like this.

  Larry : Yeah. Suppose that old chief comes back looking for his head.

  Moe : Cut it out. That spook stuff is all a lot of foolishness. What's the matter, you scared?

  Larry : No, just apprehensive.

  Moe : Oh.

  [Moe flinches] 

  Moe : That's a mighty fancy word. What does that "apprehensive" mean?

  Larry : It means you're scared, with a college education.

  Moe : Oh. You're pretty smart.

  Larry : Oh, yeah.

  Moe : [holds out his hand]  What's that?

  Larry : That's a hand.

  Moe : [balls his hand into a fist]  Good. What's that?

  Larry : That's a fist.

  [Moe punches Shemp in the eye] 

  Moe : What was that?

  Larry : A punch in the eye.

  Moe : Right.

  [Moe punches Larry in the eye] 

• Moe : How do you like that? "Wanted for vagrancy".

  Shemp : What's vagrancy?

  Larry : Boy, are you stupid. You take a flower, and it smells real nice, that's vagrancy.

  Shemp : Ha ha. We can beat that rap.

  Moe : You chowderhead. Vagrancy is when you're a hobo or a tramp.

  Shemp : Uh-oh. We can't beat that one.

  Moe : There's only one thing left to do.

  Shemp , Larry : Yes?

  Moe : We gotta pull up stakes...

  Shemp , Larry : Yes?

  Moe : Get out of town...

  Larry : Yes?

  Moe : And go to work.

  Larry : No!

  Shemp : Oh, you said a nasty word.

• Shemp : All right, sister, get going or I'll knock your brains out.

  Moe : Hey, is that a way to talk to a lady?

  [Shemp politely removes his hat] 

  Shemp : All right, sister, get going or I'll knock your brains out.

  Moe : That's better.

• Shemp : [Trying to get out of the costume Shotgun was wearing]  Now I know how a frankfurter feels.