- Philip Shayne: Why would she go away with someone like that?
- Roger: Who knows? He's a man and she's a woman.
- Philip Shayne: That's the most dangerous combination to turn loose in a motel.
- Cathy Timberlake: [very drunk] Do you like the way I walk?
- Philip Shayne: Poetry in motion.
- Cathy Timberlake: I learned when I was a baby, been walking for years.
- Philip Shayne: The Four Horsemen now have a riding companion. There's War, Famine, Death, Pestilence, and Miss Timberlake!
- Mr. Everett Beasley: Oh! Well, Miss Timberlake, back again for a little of the taxpayers' money, hmm? So did you work last week?
- Cathy Timberlake: No.
- Mr. Everett Beasley: Are you available for work?
- Cathy Timberlake: Yes.
- Mr. Everett Beasley: Did you turn down any jobs?
- Cathy Timberlake: No.
- Mr. Everett Beasley: Are you busy tonight?
- Cathy Timberlake: Yes.
- Mr. Everett Beasley: If, in our opinion, the applicant hasn't exercised proper diligence in seeking employment, we can withhold payment of checks... Perhaps tomorrow night? There's a wonderful little diner round the corner from where I live and after dinner we could, uh, well... perhaps...
- Cathy Timberlake: Go up to your apartment?
- Mr. Everett Beasley: Well, I, uh...
- Cathy Timberlake: If you want me to go up to your apartment, come out and ask. That way I can think about it and make a decision.
- Mr. Everett Beasley: Would you like to stop off at my place?
- Cathy Timberlake: May I have my check?
- Mr. Everett Beasley: Oh. Of course. Well?
- Cathy Timberlake: I would enjoy going out with you, Mr Beasley... if I didn't find you so personally distasteful. You're a sneaky, crude, offensive man. That's just how I feel. I'm sure there are hundreds of girls who admire those qualities.
- Connie Emerson: [talking to Cathy] For 2000 years we've had their children, washed their clothes, cooked their meals and cleaned their houses. And what did they give us in return? The right to smoke in public. We sold out for a cigarette - and you don't even smoke!
- Cathy Timberlake: Look, he doesn't love me. He just feels sorry for me.
- Roger: Doesn't love you? He's compared you to the plague!
- Cathy Timberlake: How would you feel? Here I am, he practically runs me down and then drives right away! And doesn't have the decency to apologise himself. Furthermore I have a job interview and have to go like this. He doesn't care.
- Roger: Ohhh...
- Cathy Timberlake: You know what I'd like to do?
- Roger: Throw the money in his face?
- Cathy Timberlake: Exactly! I'd like to throw that money right in his face.
- Roger: Would you?
- Cathy Timberlake: Yes, I would.
- Roger: I've waited seven years for this moment. You come with me!
- [Roger enters Philip's office in rags]
- Philip Shayne: What happened?
- Roger: I was knocked down two flights of stairs and then viciously attacked by a dog in a taxi. This has been the most satisfying day of my life.
- Philip Shayne: That's it, Roger. Now you have plenty of friends. Find her a husband. A simple, dull, unimaginative man who'll smile tolerantly when he comes home from work and learns she's misplaced the children.
- Roger: It upsets you, doesn't it? The puppet master ran across a puppet who won't perform and then cuts all his strings. She's become a symbol of hope to all of us who sold out for that touch of mink.
- Philip Shayne: Roger!
- Roger: You give us good salaries, paid vacations, insurance. You take away our problems and act like you've done us a favor. Well, you haven't, and some day there'll be an uprising, and the masses will regain the misery they're entitled to! Neurotics of the world unite! You have nothing to lose but your psychiatrist!
- Philip Shayne: Roger, I flew miles to a tropical paradise to drink hot milk and butter. I spent half the night playing gin rummy with a bookie. Not a memorable evening. If you don't leave now, I'll raise your salary!
- Roger: [bitterly] You're sadistic enough to do that!
- Roger: Good morning, good morning. It's a great day out.
- Philip Shayne: God, you're very happy, Roger. You'd better check that with Dr. Gruber, it might be something serious.
- Roger: I had a wonderful night's rest. You know the trouble I have sleeping? Well, I've solved it. Just before you go to bed you put three tranquilizers in a jigger of brandy and you drink it. You still can't sleep but you're so relaxed that you don't worry about it. It was exhilarating.
- Philip Shayne: Fancy that. And some people just go to sleep and never know what they're missing.
- Philip Shayne: That's what I like about you, Roger. No matter what calamity befalls your fellow man you're still able to laugh about it.
- Cathy Timberlake: And I'm unstable. What kind of mother would I make for our children?
- Philip Shayne: Well we'll try three or four if that doesn't work out, we'll breed poodles.
- Connie Emerson: Cathy. A man picks you up off the street, drags you up to his office, tricks you into taking your clothes off and then propositions you. What can you expect from a man like that?
- Cathy Timberlake: Respect.
- Connie Emerson: Respect. On that note of logic, I'll go to work.
- Mrs. Evelyn Haskell: No wonder he donated so generously. Guilt feelings.
- Mrs. Charlotte Farnum: Now Evelyn, we must be realistic. When a man donates $200,000 he's entitled to use the facilities.
- Doctor Gruber: Cancel that order for Consolidated Wire! My informant has developed some instabilities which makes his judgment questionable.
- Umpire: Strike!
- Cathy Timberlake: Strike?
- [shouts]
- Cathy Timberlake: Hey, ump, shake your head, your eyeballs are stuck! It was a ball, it was that far away from the plate.
- Umpire: [Approaching the dugout] Lady, will you keep it down over here? You've been riding me all night.
- Cathy Timberlake: Mickey, you saw that pitch, it was a ball, wasn't it?
- Mickey Mantle: It looked like it.
- Umpire: You're out of the game, Mantle.
- Cathy Timberlake: What? Roger, what do you think?
- Roger Maris: It could've missed the corner.
- Umpire: You're out, Maris.
- Cathy Timberlake: Yogi...
- Yogi Berra: It was a perfect strike, the ump was right.
- Umpire: I don't like sarcasm, Berra. You're out of the game as well.
- Cathy Timberlake: You can't do that!
- Umpire: Lady...
- Cathy Timberlake: Where's the Manager?
- Philip Shayne: I think he's hiding.
- Cathy Timberlake: [Cathy is rushing off to meet Philip, over Connie's objections] Connie, this is terribly important to me. I've got to *prove* to him that I'm a woman!
- Connie Emerson: [calls after her] Well, there are easier ways to do it. Send him your birth certificate!
- Connie Emerson: When a girl gets to be my age, and still isn't married, you either a philosophize or get arrested.
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