- Bert: [singing] Winds in the east, mist coming in. / Like somethin' is brewin' and 'bout to begin. / Can't put me finger on what lies in store, / But I feel what's to happen all happened before.
- Mary Poppins: In every job that must be done, there is an element of fun. You find the fun, and - SNAP - the job's a game!
- Mary Poppins: You know, you *can* say it backwards, which is "docious-ali-expi-istic-fragil-cali-rupus" - but that's going a bit too far, don't you think?
- Bert: Indubitably!
- Mary Poppins: [singing] Early each day to the steps of St. Paul's, the little old bird woman comes... In her own special way to the people she calls, come buy my bags full of crumbs. Come feed the little birds, show them you care, and you'll be glad if you do. Their young ones are hungry, their nests are so bare; all it takes is tuppence from you. Feed the birds, tuppence a bag. Tuppence, tuppence, tuppence a bag... Feed the birds, that's what she cries, while overhead her birds fill the skies. All around the cathedral the saints and apostles look down as she sells her wares. Although you can't see it, you know they are smiling each time someone shows that he cares. Though her words are simple and few, listen, listen, she's calling to you. Feed the birds, tuppence a bag. Tuppence, tuppence, tuppence a bag. Though her words are simple and few, listen, listen she's calling to you. Feed the birds, tuppence a bag. Tuppence, tuppence, tuppence a bag.
- Mary Poppins: [singing] He traveled all around the world, and everywhere he went, he'd use his word, and all would say, "There goes a clever gent!"
- Bert: [singing] When dukes or maharajahs pass the time o' day wi' me, I say me special word and then they ask me out to tea!
- Mary Poppins, Bert: Oh, supercalifragilisticexpialidocious! Even though the sound of it is something quite atrocious, if you say it loud enough, you'll always sound precocious! Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious!
- Mr. Dawes Sr.: Well, do you have anything to say, Banks?
- Mr. Banks: Well, sir, they do say that when there's nothing to say, all you can say...
- [He feels Michael's tuppence in his pocket, takes it out and looks at it]
- Mr. Dawes Sr.: Confound it, Banks! I said do you have anything to say?
- Mr. Banks: [begins giggling hysterically] Just one word, sir...
- Mr. Dawes Sr.: Yes?
- Mr. Banks: Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious!
- Mr. Dawes Sr.: What?
- Mr. Banks: Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious! Mary Poppins was right, it's extraordinary! It does make you feel better!
- [giggling again]
- Mr. Dawes Sr.: What are you talking about, man? There's no such word!
- Mr. Banks: Oh yes! It is a word! A perfectly good word! Actually, do you know what there's no such thing as? It turns out, with due respect, when all is said and done, that there's no such thing as YOU!
- Jane: Oh, Bert, we're so frightened.
- Bert: Now, now, don't take on so. Bert will take care of you. Like I was your father. Now, who's after you?
- Jane: Father is.
- Bert: What?
- Michael: He brought us to see his bank.
- Jane: I don't know what we did, but it must have been something dreadful.
- Michael: He sent the police after us, and the army, and everything.
- Jane: Michael, don't exaggerate.
- Bert: Well now, there must be some mistake. Your dad's a fine gentleman and he loves you.
- Jane: I don't think so. You should have seen the look on his face.
- Michael: He doesn't like us at all.
- Bert: Well now, that don't seem likely, does it?
- Jane: It's true.
- Bert: Let's sit down. You know, begging your pardon, but the one my heart goes out to is your father. There he is, in that cold heartless bank day after day, hammed in by mounds of cold heartless money. I don't like to see any living thing caged up.
- Jane: Father in a cage?
- Bert: They makes cages of all sizes and shapes, you know. Bank-shaped, some of them, carpets and all.
- Jane: Father's not in trouble. We are.
- Bert: Oh. Sure about that, are you? Look at it this way. You've got your mother to look after you and Mary Poppins and Constable Jones and me. Who looks after your father? Tell me that. When something terrible happens, what does he do? Fends for himself, he does. Who does he tell about it? No one. Don't blab his troubles at home. He just pushes on at his job, uncomplaining and alone and silent.
- Michael: He's not very silent.
- Jane: Michael, be quiet. Bert, do you think father really needs our help?
- Bert: Well, it's not my place to say. I only observe that a father can always do with a bit of help. Come on, I'll take you home.
- [Mary Poppins measures herself with her tape measure and reads what it says]
- Mary Poppins: As I expected. "Mary Poppins, practically perfect in every way."
- Mr. Banks: Just a moment, Mary Poppins. What is the meaning of this outrage?
- Mary Poppins: I beg your pardon?
- Mr. Banks: Will you be good enough to explain all this?
- Mary Poppins: First of all, I would like to make one thing quite clear.
- Mr. Banks: Yes?
- Mary Poppins: I never explain anything.
- [exits]
- Bert: What did I tell ya? There's the whole world at your feet. And who gets to see it but the birds, the stars, and the chimney sweeps.
- Mary Poppins: You *are* the father of Jane and Michael Banks, are you not?
- [pause]
- Mary Poppins: I said, you *are* the father of Jane and Michael Banks.
- Mr. Banks: Well, really - yes, of course. And you brought your references, I presume; may I see them?
- Mary Poppins: Oh, I make it a point never to give references. a very old-fashioned idea, to my mind.
- Mr. Banks: Is that so? We'll have to see about that one then, won't we?
- Mary Poppins: Now the, the qualifications... item one: a cheery disposition. I am *never* cross. Item two: rosy cheeks... obviously. Item three: play games, all sorts. Well, I'm sure the children'll find my games *extremely* diverting.
- Mr. Banks: Now this paper, where did you get it from? I - I thought I tore it up.
- Mary Poppins: Excuse me. Item four: you must be kind. I *am* kind, but *extremely* firm.
- [looking suspicious]
- Mary Poppins: Have you lost something.
- Mr. Banks: [banging his head against the fireplace flue] Ah! Yes, you see... I thought that...
- Mary Poppins: Our first game is called Well Begun is Half-Done.
- Michael: I don't like the sound of that.
- Mary Poppins: Otherwise titled Let's Tidy up the Nursery.
- Michael: [to Jane] I told you she was tricky.
- Mary Poppins: [singing] So when the cat has got your tongue, there's no need for dismay! Just summon up this word, and then you've got a lot to say! But better use it carefully or it could change your life...
- Pearly Drummer: For example...
- Mary Poppins: Yes?
- Pearly Drummer: One night I said it to me girl, and now me girl's me wife.
- [Wife gets angry and hits him with tambourine]
- Pearly Drummer: Ow! And a lovely thing she is, too.
- [Wife smiles]
- Jane: [reading advertisement for a new nanny] "Wanted: a nanny for two adorable children."
- Mr. Banks: Adorable. Well that's debatable, I must say.
- Jane: [singing] If you want this choice position, have a cheery disposition...
- Mr. Banks: Jane, I don't...
- Jane: Rosy cheeks, no warts...
- Michael: That's the part I put in!
- Jane: Play games, all sorts. You must be kind, you must be witty, very sweet, and fairly pretty...
- Mr. Banks: Well of all the ridiculous...!
- Mrs. Banks: George, please!
- Jane: Take us on outings, give us treats, sing songs, bring sweets. Never be cross or cruel. Never give us castor oil or gruel. Love us as a son and daughter, and never smell of barley water.
- Michael: I put that in, too!
- Jane: If you won't scold and dominate us, we will never give you cause to hate us. We won't hide your spectacles so you can't see, put toads in your bed, or pepper in your tea. Hurry, nanny! Many thanks! Sincerely...
- Jane, Michael: Jane and Michael Banks!
- Jane: Mary Poppins, we won't let you go!
- Mary Poppins: Go? What on earth are you talking about?
- Michael: Didn't you get sacked?
- Mary Poppins: Sacked? Certainly not. I am never sacked!
- Jane: Oh, Mary Poppins!
- Jane, Michael: Hurrah, hurray, hurray, hurray, hurray, hurray...
- Mary Poppins: Neither am I a Maypole. Kindly stop spinning about me.
- Bert: You're a man of high position, esteemed by your peers.
- [sings]
- Bert: And when your little tykes are crying, you haven't time to dry their tears... And see their thankful little faces smiling up at you... 'Cause their dad, he always knows just what to do...
- Mr. Banks: Well, look - I...
- Bert: Say no more, Gov'ner.
- [sings]
- Bert: You've got to grind, grind, grind at that grindstone... Though childhood slips like sand through a sieve... And all too soon they've up and grown, and then they've flown... And it's too late for you to give - just that spoonful of sugar to 'elp the medicine go down - medicine go dow-wown, medicine go down.
- [speaks]
- Bert: Well, goodbye, Gov'ner. Sorry to trouble you.
- [Bert exits, whistling "A Spoonful of Sugar"]
- Parrot Umbrella: Awk, that's gratitude for you. Didn't even say goodbye?
- Mary Poppins: No, they didn't.
- Parrot Umbrella: Look at them! You know, they think more of their father than they do of you!
- Mary Poppins: That's as it should be.
- Parrot Umbrella: Well, don't you care?
- Mary Poppins: Practically perfect people never permit sentiment to muddle their thinking.
- Parrot Umbrella: Is that so? Well, I'll tell you one thing, Mary Poppins: you don't fool me a bit!
- Mary Poppins: Oh, really?
- Parrot Umbrella: Yes, really. I know exactly how you feel about these children, and if you think I'm going to keep my mouth shut any longer, I'll...
- [she clamps his mouth shut]
- Mary Poppins: That will be quite enough of that, thank you.
- Mr. Banks: [singing] With tuppence for paper and strings, you can have your own set of wings! With your feet on the ground you're a bird in flight, with your fist holding tight to the string of your kite! Oh, oh, oh, let's go fly a kite, up to the highest height! Let's go fly a kite, and send it soaring! Up through the atmosphere, up where the air is clear! Oh, let's go... fly a kite!
- Mary Poppins: [watching Bert, Albert, Jane, and Michael laugh together on the ceiling] Why, it's the most disgraceful sight I've ever seen, or my name isn't Mary Poppins.
- Bert: Speakin' o' names, I know a man with a wooden leg named Smith.
- Uncle Albert: What's the name of his other leg?
- [he, Bert, Jane, and Michael laugh]
- Bert: Uncle Albert, I got a jolly joke I saved for just such an occasion. Would you like to hear it?
- Uncle Albert: [sobbing] I'd be so grateful.
- Bert: Righto. Well, it's about me granddad, see, and one night he had a nightmare, he did. So scared that he chewed his pillow to bits. Bits. Next morning, I says, "How you feel, Granddad?" He says, "Oh, not bad. A little down in the mouth."
- [Bert laughs, Uncle Albert sobs harder]
- Bert: I always say there's nothing like a good joke.
- Uncle Albert: [sobbing] No, and that was nothing like a good joke.
- [On the failure of their previous nanny]
- Mrs. Banks: I'm sorry, dear, but when I chose Katie Nana, I thought she would be firm with the children. She looked so solemn and cross.
- Mr. Banks: My dear, never confuse efficiency with a liver complaint.
- Bert: All right, I'll do it myself!
- Mary Poppins: Do what?
- Bert: Bit o' magic!
- Michael: A bit of magic?
- Bert: It's easy! Let's see... You think.
- [he, Jane, and Michael do so]
- Bert: You wink.
- [they do so]
- Bert: You do a double blink.
- [they do so]
- Bert: You close your eyes... and jump!
- [They jump onto the drawing, nothing happens]
- Jane: Is something s'posed to happen?
- Mary Poppins: Bert, what utter nonsense!
- [gives an exasperated sigh]
- Mary Poppins: Why do you *always* complicate things that are really quite simple? Give me your hand please, Michael. Don't slouch. One... two...
- [They jump into the chalk picture]
- Jane: Good morning, father!
- Mr. Banks: [grumbles] 'Morning.
- Jane: Mary Poppins taught us the most wonderful word!
- Michael: Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious!
- Mr. Banks: What on Earth are you talking about, supercal... super... or whatever the infernal thing is?
- Jane: It's something to say when you don't know what to say.
- Mr. Banks: Yes, well, I always know what to say.
- Bert: It's true that Mavis and Sybil have ways that are winning, and Prudence and Gwendolyn set your heart spinning! Phoebe's delightful, Maude is disarming...
- Penguin 3: Janice?
- Penguin 1: Felicia?
- Penguin: Lydia?
- Bert: Charming! Cynthia's dashing, Vivian's sweet! Stephanie's smashing, Priscilla's a treat.
- Penguin 2: Veronica.
- Penguin: Millicent.
- Penguin Waiter: Agnes?
- Penguin 3: and Jane.
- Bert: Convivial company, time and again. Dorcas and Phyllis and Glynis are sorts I will agree are three jolly good sports, but cream of the crop, tip of the top...
- Bert, Penguin 1, Penguin 2, Penguin, Penguin Waiter, Penguin, Penguin 3: It's Mary Poppins, and there we stop!
- Mr. Banks: [singing] I feel a surge of deep satisfaction, much as a king astride his noble steed.
- [speaks]
- Mr. Banks: Thank you.
- [sings]
- Mr. Banks: When I return from daily strife, to hearth and wife, how pleasant is the life I lead!
- Mrs. Banks: Dear, it's about the children...
- Mr. Banks: Yes, yes, yes.
- [sings]
- Mr. Banks: I run my home precisely on schedule. At 6:01, I march through my door. My slippers, sherry, and pipe are due at 6:02. Consistent is the life I lead!
- Mrs. Banks: George, they're missing!
- Mr. Banks: Splendid, splendid.
- [sings]
- Mr. Banks: It's grand to be an Englishman in 1910! King Edward's on the throne, it's the age of men! I'm the lord of my castle, the sovereign, the liege!
- [speaks]
- Mr. Banks: I treat my subjects, servants, children, wife with a firm but gentle hand, noblesse oblige.
- [sings]
- Mr. Banks: It's 6:03, and the heirs to my dominion are scrubbed and tubbed, and adequately fed. And so I'll pat them on the head, and send them off to bed. Ah, lordly is the life I lead!
- [speaks]
- Mr. Banks: Winifred, where are the children?
- Mrs. Banks: They're not here, dear.
- Mr. Banks: What? Well, of course they're here! Where else would they be?
- Bert: Up where the smoke is all billowed and curled / 'Tween pavement and stars is the chimney sweep world / When there's hardly no day, nor hardly no night / There's things half in shadow and halfway in light / On the rooftops of London / Coo, what a sight!
- Mrs. Banks: [singing] We're clearly soldiers in petticoats, and dauntless crusaders for women's a-votes! Though we adore men individually, we agree that as a group they're rather stupid.
- Mary Poppins: [singing] Chim Chiminy, Chim Chiminy, Chim Chim Chiree! When you're with a 'sweep, you're in glad company.
- Bert: Never was there a more happier crew, than them what sings Chim Chim Chiree Chim Chiroo! Chim Chim Chiminy Chim Chim Chiree Chim Chiroo...
- Mrs. Banks: Oh, George, you didn't jump into the river. How sensible of you!
- [Mr. Banks kisses her]
- Constable Jones: [into phone] It's all right, sir, he's been found! No, *alive*! Or so I presume, he's a-kissin' the Mrs. Banks.
- Mrs. Banks: I've been so worried, what happened at the ba...
- [Mr. Banks picks her up and whirls her around]
- Mr. Banks: I've been sacked! Discharged! Flung into the street!
- [singing]
- Mr. Banks: A spoonful of sugar makes the medicine go down! Tra-la-laaa-lalalalala!
- Ellen: Gone off his crumpet, that's what he's done. Dotty as you please.
- [first lines]
- Bert: All right, ladies an' gents! Comical poem! Suitable for the occasion, extemporized and thought up before your very eyes! All right, 'ere we go!
- [sings]
- Bert: Room 'ere for everyone. Gather around.
- [speaks]
- Bert: The constable - responstable! Now 'ow does that sound?
- [no response]
- Bert: Hm.
- [dashes over to Miss Lark, sings]
- Bert: 'Ello, Miss Lark, I've got one for you.
- [speaks]
- Bert: Miss Lark... likes to walk... in the park... with Andrew!
- [Andrew barks, then Bert tips his hat to him]
- Bert: Hello, Andrew.
- [turns to Mrs. Corry, sings]
- Bert: Ah, Mrs. Corry, a story for you.
- [speaks]
- Bert: Your daughters were shorter than you - but they grew!
- Constable Jones: [on phone] That's what I said, sir. Go fly a kite!
- [pause]
- Constable Jones: Well, no, sir, no. I didn't mean you *personally.*
- Mr. Banks: I suggest you have this piano repaired. When I sit down to an instrument, I like to have it in tune.
- Mrs. Banks: But, George, you don't play.
- Mr. Banks: Madam, that is entirely beside the point!
- Mr. Dawes Jr: Ah, there you are, Banks. I want to congratulate you. Capital bit of humor, wooden leg named Smith!
- [pauses looks a bit confused]
- Mr. Dawes Jr: Or, Jones, whatever it was. Father died laughing!
- Mr. Banks: Oh, I'm so sorry, sir!
- Mr. Dawes Jr: Oh no, nonsense, nothing to be sorry about! Never seen him happier in his life. He left an opening for a new partner.
- [puts a new carnation into Banks' buttonhole]
- Mr. Dawes Jr: Congratulations.
- Mr. Banks: Oh thank you, sir, thank you very much indeed!
- [kisses Mrs. Banks]
- Mary Poppins: [singing] Just a spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down, the medicine go down, the medicine go down. Just a spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down, in the most delightful way.
- Jane: [tasting Mary Poppins' magic medicine] Lime cordial, delicious!
- Michael: Strawberry! Mmm.
- Mary Poppins: Rum punch! Quite satisfactory.
- [hiccups]
- Mary Poppins: [singing] Stay awake, don't rest your head. Don't lie down upon your bed. While the moon drifts in the skies... Stay awake, don't close your eyes. Though the world is fast asleep, though your pillow's soft and deep, you're not sleepy as you seem; stay awake, don't nod and dream... Stay awake... don't nod... and... dream.
- Mrs. Banks: As a matter of fact, since you hired Mary Poppins, the most extraordinary things seem to have come over the household.
- Mr. Banks: Is that so?
- Mrs. Banks: Take Ellen, for instance. She hasn't broken a dish all morning.
- Mr. Banks: Really? Well, that is extraordinary.
- Mr. Banks: [singing] A British bank is run with precision. A British home requires nothing less! Tradition, discipline, and rules must be the tools! Without them: disorder, catastrophe! Anarchy! In short, you have a ghastly mess!
- Bert: It reminds me of me brother. He got a nice cushy job at a watch factory.
- Uncle Albert: At a watch factory? What does he do?
- Bert: He stands about all day... and makes faces!
- Uncle Albert: [laughing hysterically] He makes faces in a watch factory!
- [Uncle Albert had been asked if there is a way to get down from being up in the air]
- Uncle Albert: There is a way. And frankly, I don't like to think of it, because you have to think of something sad.
- Mary Poppins: Then do get on with it, please.
- Uncle Albert: Let me see... I have the very thing: Yesterday, when the lady next door answered the door, there was a man there, and the man said to the lady, "I'm terribly sorry, I just ran over your cat."
- [Jane and Michael descend from being up in the air]
- Jane: Oh, that is sad.
- Michael: The poor cat.
- Uncle Albert: And the man said, "I'd like to replace your cat." And the lady said, "That's all right with me, but how are you with catching mice?"
- [then they all burst out laughing and Jane and Michael re-ascend back to the tea table in the air]
- Michael: That's a funny sort of bag.
- Mary Poppins: Carpet.
- Michael: You mean to carry carpets in?
- Mary Poppins: No, made of.
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