How to Stuff a Wild Bikini

Frankie (Frankie Avalon) is 'working' his Naval Reserve duty on the beaches of Guna Guna Islands with his island bunny. She brings him to witch doctor Bwana (Buster Keaton) with his concerns about Dee Dee (Annette Funicello) stepping out on him. Bwana creates a wild bikini and stuffs it with Cassandra (Beverly Adams) who entices all the men to her. Ad man Peachy (Mickey Rooney) arrives looking for the perfect girl. His assistant Ricky overlooks Cassandra and falls for Dee Dee. Eric Von Zipper (Harvey Lembeck) and his motorcycle gang are back once again.

Frankie Avalon is barely in this one. Annette Funicello has never been a great actress unless watching her eat KFC is appealing. What's the point of Funicello if she's not with Avalon. It would have been great to have her be the Queen of the beach alone teaching kids to surf. More than anything, Mickey Rooney seems to have the most screen time. The rest of the girls are little more than bikini models. Their greatest contribution is spelled out in the first song, their measurements. It's all very light weight. Only Mickey Rooney is capable of any comedy and he's treading water in a sea of clueless young people. This movie needs a younger couple who could take over the franchise. It's sad to see legend Buster Keaton playing a witch doctor. It's inherently sad to use him in such a questionable manner. The most fun aspect of the movie is the title. It is the pinnacle of cheesy beach movie titles.