- Marshall 'Mickey' Briggs: All right. I'll tell ya'. This morning, right after breakfast, I flew to Mexico and had a mad, gay whirl with a lady bullfighter. I gave her my old fraternity pin and she gave me the ears to her bull. Now, let's have dinner and get to that ballgame!
- Mrs. Blake - Janice's Mother: Of course, if a burglar should break in while you're gone...
- Marshall 'Mickey' Briggs: Oh, no...
- Mrs. Blake - Janice's Mother: ...it would be quite a shock.
- Marshall 'Mickey' Briggs: Well, he'll get over it.
- Marshall 'Mickey' Briggs: Whatever she does, I don't mind; because, she is beautiful. Nobody will ever make another one like her.
- Marshall 'Mickey' Briggs: By the time I arrived at the advertising agency where I work, I'd forgotten all about Janice. It was a pleasure to see the smiling faces of my colleagues. It was even a pleasure to see my secretary. Miss Anderson may not be a very good typist; but, she is untidy.
- Miss Anderson: I've mentioned this to you before, Mr. Briggs; but, somehow or another you always misconstrue what I do. Ever since I took this job, you've misconstrued everything I do.
- Marshall 'Mickey' Briggs: Look, Miss Construe, eh, Miss Anderson, will you please...
- [first lines]
- Marshall 'Mickey' Briggs: This story could happen anywhere at anytime; but, only if you married a woman. And I married a *woman*.
- Marshall 'Mickey' Briggs: Any messages for me?
- Miss Anderson: Mr. Sutton's been calling you for the last half hour. But, I covered for ya. I told him you overslept.
- Marshall 'Mickey' Briggs: That was Janice's mother's idea, naming an all white dog: Blackie. It's made him quite neurotic.
- Mrs. Blake - Janice's Mother: Janice, when I was first married to your father, you remember him, why, we were always out somewhere. It was hardly a night, but, why, he didn't take some business client out to wine him and dine him. And I always went along to help him entertain. If I do say so myself, I made your father what he is today.
- Marshall 'Mickey' Briggs: May he Rest In Peace.
- Mrs. Blake - Janice's Mother: I heard it was a wonderful picture.
- Janice Blake Briggs: It was just beautiful. And it certainly should be a lesson to some husbands who aren't as attentive to their wives as they used to be. When I think of the fun we used to have before we were married. We went out every night.
- Marshall 'Mickey' Briggs: That's right. Every night in the world. I never could get her to stay home and neck.
- Leonard: Does a man need an occasion to show his wife how much he loves her? Besides, just being married to you makes everyday an occasion.
- Marshall 'Mickey' Briggs: Honey, you've got to remember, I'm just little bitty ol' Marshall Briggs, not great big ol' John Wayne.
- Janice Blake Briggs: [dreamily] John Wayne!
- Janice Blake Briggs: Mother, no one is talking about your taking a trip.
- Marshall 'Mickey' Briggs: I'm taking a trip - to the delicatessen.
- Mrs. Blake - Janice's Mother: Oh, it's all right. It doesn't matter. I don't have to go anywhere. Soon I'll be going on that last great Cook's tour of them all. Upstairs.
- Marshall 'Mickey' Briggs: I heard they did the cooking - downstairs.
- Bob Sanders: Say, don't spread this around Wall Street; but, I'd give up bonds for blondes, any day.
- Marshall 'Mickey' Briggs: Let's remember, that little albino fox is all mine. I know her. I met her in England during the war.
- Bob Sanders: You spent the entire war in Fort Sill, Oklahoma.
- Mrs. Blake - Janice's Mother: It would be good for me to go to some nice, dry, warm climate. Where I could lie in the sun and get rid of all my aches and pains. If I had my way, I'd just *lie* in the sun all day and night.
- Marshall 'Mickey' Briggs: Yeah, the sun is very good at nights, I hear.
- Marshall 'Mickey' Briggs: You amaze me. You - she amazes me. See, when I think that my wife sees John Wayne make a few passes at his wife; who, incidentally, isn't really his wife either, but, somebody else's wife, you can bet me; and then my wife thinks that I ought to treat my wife the way, eh, eh, what was the question again?
- Mrs. Blake - Janice's Mother: How could I go to a baseball game? I've nothing to wear.
- Marshall 'Mickey' Briggs: It's not formal, mother.
- Mrs. Blake - Janice's Mother: The few things I have are in tatters.
- Marshall 'Mickey' Briggs: Mother, you know very well that if you want a new dress, all you have to do is charge it to my account.
- Mrs. Blake - Janice's Mother: Oh, no, no. It doesn't matter. I don't need anything. Soon, I'll be going to that last great dressmaker of them all. Upstairs.
- Marshall 'Mickey' Briggs: Are you prepared to meet your dressmaker?
- Marshall 'Mickey' Briggs: When John Wayne does it, it's all right?
- Janice Blake Briggs: John Wayne happens to be the demonstrative type.
- Marshall 'Mickey' Briggs: Demonstrative?
- Janice Blake Briggs: John Wayne is demonstrative! You, demonstrative? You're not demonstrative. You've never been demonstrative!
- Marshall 'Mickey' Briggs: Mr. Sutton?
- Frederick W. Sutton: Mickey, I was just wondering, what is the speed of a freely falling body? Say, a body falling from the 28th floor.
- Marshall 'Mickey' Briggs: What?
- Frederick W. Sutton: And I wonder, does a man lose consciousness before he splatters on the sidewalk below? Say a man about my height and weight.
- Janice Blake Briggs: [drunkenly] I guess it's time for another drink. Ah, waiter?
- Bob Sanders: Well, I don't think you better, Janice.
- Janice Blake Briggs: Hmm? Oh, but, definitely! I'm drinking for two now, you know.
- Bob Sanders: For two? You? You mean?
- Janice Blake Briggs: [whispers] Shhh. Don't tell Mickey.
- Bob Sanders: Mickey doesn't know you're going to have a...
- Janice Blake Briggs: No! No, don't tell him, baby. You mustn't tell him.
- [to the waiter]
- Janice Blake Briggs: Another mickey for the lady. Shh...
- Frederick W. Sutton: Ethical? How can you talk about ethics at a time like this? What has ethics got to do with a million dollars?
- Frederick W. Sutton: We're in terrible trouble.
- Marshall 'Mickey' Briggs: We're in no trouble. He's in trouble.
- Frederick W. Sutton: We're all in trouble.
- Miss Anderson: Now, just a minute, Mr. Briggs. What brought on this tirade?
- Marshall 'Mickey' Briggs: Miss Anderson, did you hear me?
- Miss Anderson: Yes, I heard you and you've been trirading against me long enough. When things go wrong with me, I don't tirade against you.
- Marshall 'Mickey' Briggs: Miss Anderson, what do you want?
- Miss Anderson: Before this tiradation started, I was only trying to say that Mr. Sutton hasn't come in yet.
- Frederick W. Sutton: This is Mr. Girard, he's a lawyer.
- Marshall 'Mickey' Briggs: How do you do? This is Mr. Sanders, he's a louse.
- Screen Wife: Oh, Leonard, I'm so happy it frightens me.
- Leonard: Frightens you? Nonsense!
- Screen Wife: Even after five years, it seems as if we're still on our honeymoon.
- Leonard: Our honeymoon will go on forever, and forever, and forever.
- Screen Wife: Yes, darling, forever.
- Leonard: And forever. And forever.
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