The Diary of a High School Bride

The lesson here seems to be that if you are a 17-year-old high school senior who marries a 24-year-old, your parents will be ticked off, your friends will diss you, your ex-boyfriend will get turned on, and your acting career will end up in the toilet. Who saw any of this coming?

Judy (Anita Sands) carries a stuffed animal with her, even on her wedding night. Maybe there is something Freudian in that; I wouldn't know. Her new hubby Steve (Ronald Foster) lives in a one-bedroom apartment, but is a law student, so maybe Judy hopes that someday he will become rich and unprincipled. Chris Robinson, as her borderline psycho ex, is not very menacing, and can be taken out with a few punches. There are several scenes in a teen hangout, a dive which seems to be a combination of fast-food diner, beatnik café, Spanish guitar and dancer mishmash. One of the patrons does something weird with his cheeks, but I didn't rewind to study it more carefully.

Tony Casanova, who apparently had a singing career for a few days (you'll see why if you watch this), performs the title tune, and also another ditty in the hangout. The ending has a modicum of suspense, but by then I doubt if you'll be paying attention. The only bit of interest is a passing reference to "The Screaming Skull," which was far better than this opus - and which is also not saying much. At least that film featured a nice performance by Peggy Webber's upper body.