Blood Suckers

A relic of the hippy, trippy, psychedelic early-'70s, this contemporary take on vampirism is a colossal waste of the acting talent involved. Peter Cushing, Edward Woodward, Patrick Macnee and Patrick Mower can do nothing to save this boring mess of a movie that treats vampirism as a sexual perversion, with impotent Oxford don Richard Fountain (Mower) only able to achieve orgasm while having blood sucked from his neck. This leads him to fall under the spell of sexy Greek vampire Chriseis (Imogen Hassall), and become part of a hippy cult that dabbles in ritualistic murder.

Concerned about Richard, his girlfriend Penelope (Madeleine Hinde) and friends Bob (Johnny Sekka), Derek (Patrick Macnee) and Tony (Alexander Davion) travel to Greece where they carry out a daring rescue mission.

Within the first fifteen minutes, a prolonged, multicoloured, kaleidoscopic orgy scene set to prog rock tests the mettle of even the most determined of bad movie fans. Make it past this and you will be rewarded with lots of pretentious dialogue, some incredibly poor action, a perplexing scene in which Richard harps on about an eagle, Macnee plummeting to his death off a cliff, and Richard upsetting his stuffy academic superiors during a banquet (a scene that is both dull and confusing).

The film finishes with Richard snacking on Penelope, being pursued by Bob across the Oxford University rooftops, and falling onto spiked metal railings (not a moment too soon).