- Turner: I'll tell you this: the only performance that makes it, that really makes it, that makes it all the way, is the one that achieves madness. Right? Am I right? You with me?
- Chas: [on the phone] What a freak show.
- Tony Farrell: Well, where are you then?
- Chas: Oh, you know, on the left.
- Tony Farrell: Oh, yeah. Yeah.
- Chas: It's a right piss-hole. Long hair. Beatniks. Druggers. Free love. Foreigners, You name it.
- [on the intercom outside as Chas rings the front door]
- Pherber: "Leave a message after the beep. Beep, beep, BEEP!
- Turner: [reading from a book] "The old man was called, in the language of Persia, Hassani Saba, and his people were called the Hashishi. He had caused a valley between two mountains to be enclosed, and turned into a garden, so large and beautiful his people believed it was Paradise. And there was a fortress at the entrance, strong enough to resist all the world. Now the old man caused those of his young men whom he had chosen to be his Hashishi, his assassins, to be given a potion which cast them into a deep sleep, and to be carried into the garden, so that when they awoke, they believed they were in Paradise. And there were damsels and young girls there, who dallied with them to their hearts' content, so that they had what young men desire. Thus it was that when the old man decided to send one of his assassins upon a mission, such as to have a prince slain, he would send for one of these youths and say, 'Go thou and kill, and when thou returnest, my angels will bear thee into Paradise; and should'st thou die, nevertheless, I will send my angels to carry thee back into Paradise.'"
- [pause]
- Turner: They enjoyed their work...
- Harry Flowers: Took over? No, Joey. The word is merged. You was merged, my son.
- [raises a glass]
- Harry Flowers: To old England.
- Chas: Can I use the blower up here.
- Turner: We haven't got a blower up here.
- Pherber: Huh! What in God's name has he done to his hair?
- Turner: He's blown it.
- Chas: Yeah, well, that's it dear. I got to ring my agent again.
- Turner: I fancy the red.
- Chas: No. No. The red was dye.
- Turner: Dead.
- Chas: Dyed. Red.
- Pherber: Dyed it? Dead!
- Chas: Red! Red!
- Turner: Van Gogh, eh?
- Pherber: He's stuck! Stuck!
- Chas: Why?
- Pherber: Why? Because he's lost his demons, that's why. Yeah, he thought he had it under control. Juggling all those balls - millions of them. Until one day he was looking at his favorite mirror, admiring his image, see. And when suddenly he saw, a little clearly, it was just a beautiful, little, freaky, stripy, beast, darling. So, he thought, maybe, maybe its time for a change, he thought. Then, immediately, as he watched, the image faded. His demon had abandoned him! Pluff! He was gone! He's still tryin' to figure out whether he wants it back.
- The Lawyer: It is alleged, by the prosecution, that the dividend of 15%, which was declared on the non-voting B shares, was, in deed, fraudulently designed solely to expedite this admittedly bold, but in no way unethical, merger. I say merger, gentlemen, not take-over!
- The Lawyer: Now, look here, I'm Mr. Fraser's Counsel and I warn you...
- Chas: I know that. Now, shut your hole, Mr. Counsel!
- Joey Maddocks: But, Harry, I'm still a bit worried - about my future.
- Harry Flowers: Worried? That I will not allow, my son. Anyone worries you, you tell me about it. You're on the firm now, Joey! One of me own! United we stand. Divided we're lumbered!
- Harry Flowers: The world's a dodgy place, my friends, I can't help that. But, we've got progress. Look at the Yanks!
- Dennis: The new world.
- Turner: Talk about a performer. Of course, I'm not telling you anything you don't know. Am I, old man? You can't stay here old man. I'm not in the mood.
- Chas: No. No. This is the normal.
- Turner: Normal?
- Chas: Yeah. I was just havin' a laugh. Havin' a laugh, you see, with my act. With my image. You know what I mean?
- Turner: Yeah, I know exactly what you mean.
- Chas: I thought you would. Eh, he reckons, my agent, that, time for a change.
- Turner: It was time for a change.
- Turner: [singing] Woke up this morning, somebody knockin' on my door, Woke up this morning, I said, "Hello, Satan. I believe it's time to go".
- [talking]
- Turner: We push the buttons. He's the horror show. He's an old pro. He can take it. He takes it! He dishes it out too! Bet your sweet fucking life he does. He's a mean bastard.
- Chas: I'm the Lone Ranger.
- Turner: [singing] Weren't you at the Coke convention back on nineteen sixty-five, You're the misbred, grey executive I've seen heavily advertised. You're the great, gray man whose daughter licks policemen's buttons clean...