- The President: [the President is referring to the White House] Do you realise this whole asylum is filled with yes-men? People who say "yes" when they mean "no" and "no" when they mean "yes". Do you know how that makes me feel? Do you realise that if anything happened to me, the Vice-President...
- Secretary of Health: Don't say it!
- The President: The Vice-President would be running this thing.
- Secretary of Health: I don't even want to think about it.
- The President: Now then, what did you want to see me about?
- Secretary of Health: I've been thinking about resigning.
- The President: What?
- Secretary of Health: I've been thinking about resigning.
- The President: Why, Phil? What is it? Is it the money?
- Secretary of Health: No, it's not that. Civil war is about to erupt.
- The President: Where, Phil? In what country?
- Secretary of Health: You know what country. This country.
- The President: [He laughs] We're prepared for that, Phil. Remember, one of the great traditions of this country is preparedness.
- Secretary of Health: That's the trouble; those federal police, armed detention camps, Sarah's on one side and you're on the other. Me, I'm in the middle.
- The President: Maybe we can work something out.
- Secretary of Health: Call the whole thing off.
- The President: [He laughs] I can't do that, Phil. You see, I've made a commitment to the American people. What would the taxpayers think? I've already bought all those uniforms.