Don't Lose Your Head (1967)

Peter Gilmore: Citizen Robespierre

Quotes 

• [the Black Fingernail has rescued a French aristocrat, the Duc de Pommfrit, from the guillotine and left his calling card there] 

  Citizen Robespierre : So, Citizen Head of Secret Police Camembert, the one who calls himself "The Black Fingernail" has fooled you again.

  Camembert : Oh, I wouldn't say that, citizen.

  Citizen Robespierre : Oh, you wouldn't?

  Camembert : No.

  Citizen Robespierre : [Waves paper with Black Fingernail's sign on it]  This is his calling card. It was found on the guillotine after that disgraceful exhibition this afternoon.

  Camembert : Yes, that's true, but he didn't fool me. Oh no, not for one moment.

  Citizen Robespierre : [Sarcastically]  He didn't? Oh, perhaps I've got the story wrong. This time he posed as an insurance salesman, correct?

  Camembert : Yes.

  Citizen Robespierre : Abducted the Duc de Pommfrit from under your very nose?

  Camembert : Yes.

  Citizen Robespierre : And tricked you into executing your own executioner?

  Camembert : Yes.

  Citizen Robespierre : [shouting]  And he didn't fool you for one minute?

  Camembert : I knew who he was. I wanted to see how far he would go.

  Citizen Robespierre : Mon blooming dieu. He couldn't have gone very much further could he?

  Camembert : Oh, I don't know. We've still got the guillotine!

• Citizen Robespierre : Have either of you ever seen a man looking like that?

  Camembert : Well, it's marvelous what you can do with a bit of padding. If I could just have a bit of a prod...

  Citizen Robespierre : No you cannot have a bit of a prod! Imbecile! Admit it. This Fingernail has made a monkey of you, yet again.