Petula Clark credited as playing...
Sharon McLonergan
- Finian McLonergan: What do you think makes America different from Ireland?
- Sharon McLonergan: It has more Irishmen?
- Finian McLonergan: America is full of millionaires.
- Sharon McLonergan: But Father, are there no ill clad or ill housed in America?
- Finian McLonergan: Aye, but they're the best ill clad and the best ill housed in the world.
- Senator Billboard Rawkins: You've been violating the law, here.
- Finian McLonergan: Since when?
- Senator Billboard Rawkins: This afternoon. I just finished drafting this.
- Senator Billboard Rawkins: [reading] Local ordinance number 7428: be it known that in the county of Rainbow Valley, it is a felony for members of the Caucasian and Negro races...
- Finian McLonergan: But it seems to me that this law could not be a legal law...
- Senator Billboard Rawkins: Of course it's legal! I don't know where you immigrants get these radical, foreign ideas!
- Sharon McLonergan: From a wee book the immigration officer handed us. It's called 'The United States Constitution.'
- Finian McLonergan: Haven't you read it?
- Senator Billboard Rawkins: I don't have time to read it, I'm too busy defending it!
- Sharon McLonergan: [looking in Finian's bag] It's gold!
- Finian McLonergan: Aye, it's a pot of gold.
- Sharon McLonergan: And you stole it!
- Finian McLonergan: I did not steal it! I only borrowed.
- Sharon McLonergan: Who did you borrow it from?
- Finian McLonergan: Why do you want to know?
- Sharon McLonergan: So we can lend it right back to him, that's why!
- Finian McLonergan: That's impossible! He's not mortal.
- Sharon McLonergan: You killed him!
- Finian McLonergan: Of course not! He never was mortal. He's a leprechaun.
- Sharon McLonergan: A leprechaun?
- Finian McLonergan: Of course! Who else would have gold in Ireland?
- Woody Mahoney: How'd you get so pretty? And so rich?
- Sharon McLonergan: Well, you see, in Glocca Morra, where we come from, there's an old legend, and it says: 'You'll never grow old and you'll never grow poor, if you look to the rainbow, beyond the next moor.'
- Woody Mahoney: That's a lovely legend.
- Sharon McLonergan: Aye.
- Woody Mahoney: I wonder who thought it up.
- Sharon McLonergan: My father: Finian McLonnergan.
- Sharon McLonergan: [singing] When a rich man doesn't want to work/ He's a bon vivant/ Yes, he's a bon vivant. But when a poor man doesn't want to work / he's a loafer, he's a lounger he's a lazy good for nothing...
- Finian McLonergan: He's a jerk. When a rich man loses on a horse/ isn't he the sport /oh, isn't he the sport / but when a poor man loses on a horse / he's a gambler, he's a spender, he's a lowlife, he's a reason for divorce. When a rich man chases after dames, he's a man about town/ a man about town / but when a poor man chases after dames / he's a bounder, he's a rounder, he's a rotter, and a lotter dirty names.
- [Sharon pulls Og out of a well]
- Sharon McLonergan: Well, this is a fine kettle of fish! And how do you explain these strange shenanigans?
- [Og hiccups]
- Sharon McLonergan: Well, if you won't speak, back into the well with you.
- Og: Oh, no!
- [jumps out]
- Sharon McLonergan: So, you've found your tongue. Why were you hiding in that well?
- Og: I wasn't hiding. Somebody had set me on fire and I had to put myself out.
- Sharon McLonergan: Who was it that put the torch to you.
- Og: It was a sunbeam.
- Sharon McLonergan: A sunbeam?
- Og: A sunbeam disguised as a fairy queen. But you can't fool me, I know a sunbeam when I see one.
- Sharon McLonergan: Father is a mineralogist from the old country. He can make gold sprout out of the ground.
- Senator Billboard Rawkins: Gold? There's no gold in Ireland.
- Finian McLonergan: I meself discovered a vein our countrymen have been searching for ever since the reign of... Alfred the Thoughtless.
- Senator Billboard Rawkins: Who?
- Finian McLonergan: You've never heard of Alfred the Thoughtless? He was King of Erin following his father, Thomas the Temporary, who in turn was the only son of the Virgin Queen, Serena the Spotless.
- Sharon McLonergan: Do you mean to say you're taking this land from these people merely because their skins are black?
- Henry: Don't let them chase us!
- Senator Billboard Rawkins: Will you shut this kid up? He's making me look like a bully. All right, Sheriff, get them out of here.
- Sheriff: You heard the Senator, you folks better start packin' your things.
- Boy: Is Henry the wrong color?
- Sharon McLonergan: No, of course not. He's the right color.
- [she walks towards Senator Rawkins]
- Sharon McLonergan: But there's something wrong with the world! Oh, I wish...
- Finian McLonergan: Sharon. Sharon.
- Sharon McLonergan: There's something wrong with the world that you and your kind have made for people like Henry! I wish you could know what that world is like. I wish to God you were black!
- [wind, thunder]
- Senator Billboard Rawkins: Well, I'm a son of a biscuit...
- Sharon McLonergan: He's a schemer.
- Finian McLonergan: You're well rid of him.
- Sharon McLonergan: An impractical dreamer.
- Finian McLonergan: It's deplorable.
- Sharon McLonergan: Total no-good bounder.
- Finian McLonergan: Get the wretch out of your mind.
- Sharon McLonergan: He's just like you!
- Finian McLonergan: Aye, a darling of a man.
- Sharon McLonergan: Where are you going?
- Finian McLonergan: To find me a rainbow. Finian's Rainbow. It never fails to come up when a McLonergan is down.
- Finian McLonergan: Goodbye, me darling. Goodbye, me friends. I'll see you all in Glocca Morra.
- Woody Mahoney: Sharon, where is Glocca Morra?
- Sharon McLonergan: Well, you see, it's always somewhere - over there.
- Woody Mahoney: What's going on?
- Finian McLonergan: The Senator tried to take our land away from us.
- Sharon McLonergan: Aye. And then I lost me temper with him, and I shouted at him and he turned black right in front of me eyes.
- Woody Mahoney: Don't worry about that. It happens every time that he meets somebody he disagrees with. He sees red, and then he turns purple with rage and then he yells himself black in the face.
- Sharon McLonergan: Do you feel a warmish, kind of glowish, peculiarish sensation?
- Og: No... it's a sort of quiverish, shiverish, flibberty-gibberish sensation!
- Sharon McLonergan: Does it make you feel hummingbirds in your heart?
- Og: Butterflies in my feet!
- Sharon McLonergan: Bees in your bonnet!
- Og: [dancing] Stars in my britches!
- Sharon McLonergan: It makes you want to dance!
- Og: [falls over] I hadn't noticed.
- [first lines]
- Finian McLonergan: Eureka! Sharon, come quickly.
- Sharon McLonergan: What is it now, Father?
- Finian McLonergan: We're here. It's journey's end. Our destination at last.
- Sharon McLonergan: Ever since I was two years you've been seeing leprechauns in the cabbage patch and rainbows over your whiskey jug! Now, what pixified fancy of yours has really brought us to America, huh?
- Finian McLonergan: It's the hill beyond yon hill.
- Sharon McLonergan: I've been hearing about the hill beyond yon hill ever since we left Ireland.
- Sharon McLonergan: I'd rather like to know the more complicated part of the legend.
- Woody Mahoney: It's only how to make yourself immune from the werewolves, that's it.
- Sharon McLonergan: Well, how would I be doing that?
- Woody Mahoney: Well, you have to stand very, very close to the nicest, handsomest fellow around.
- Sharon McLonergan: That must be you.
- Woody Mahoney: Must be. Then you make yourself comfortable on the grass. Now, you blink your eyes - twice and keep them closed. Now you say, "petrified parsley" over and over, real fast.
- Sharon McLonergan: Petrified parsley, petrified parsley, petrified parsley, petrified parsley, petrified parsley, petrified parsley...
- Woody Mahoney: Feel immune yet?
- Sharon McLonergan: No. Petrified parsley, petrified parsley, petrified parsley, petrified parsley.
- [Woody gives Sharon a long kiss]
- Sharon McLonergan: Oh, that's a lovely legend. Who made it up?
- Woody Mahoney: I did.
- Woody Mahoney: Now what's a nice girl like you doing in a place like this?
- Sharon McLonergan: Oh, it's you Mr. Mahoney. I was - lookin' for me father.
- Woody Mahoney: Not too long a girl, if they find a young girl in the forest in the middle of the night, why they'd think that she's - a witch.