- [last lines]
- Boy: [facing toward the camera and the audience and breaking the fourth wall] We're gonna put everyone over 10 out of business!
- Max Frost: I have nothing against our current President... that's like running against my own grandfather. I mean, what do you ask a 60-year-old man?... You ask him if he wants his wheelchair FACING the Sun, or facing AWAY from the Sun. But running the country? FORGET IT, babies!
- Max Frost: How old do you think I am?
- Young Mary Fergus: About a hundred.
- Max Frost: I'm 24.
- Young Mary Fergus: That's old!
- Max Frost: How long you think you're gonna live?
- Billy Cage: Thirty, man.
- Max Frost: Thirty?
- Billy Cage: Twenty-five, maybe. After that, who needs it, huh?
- Max Frost: Yeah. I don't want to live to be 30. Thirty is death, baby. That's too much.
- Jimmy Fergus: Do you think I should be able to vote or not?
- Mary Fergus: Jimmy, if you love your father, you'd trust him.
- Jimmy Fergus: That's what George III said to the Americans in 1776. Trust me.
- Stanley X: The founding fathers, them Papas... to get the vote, man, they had in mind to fight! You know what I mean? They didn't have no big bomb or nothin'. But they weren't usin' water pistols, either.
- Sally Leroy: America's greatest contribution has been to teach the world that getting old is such a drag.
- Stanley X: [cupping his hand over Senator Amos Allbright's ear and whispering into it as lowering the voting age is discussed] They let th' OLD FOLKS in th' OLD FOLKS HOME vote!
- Mary Fergus: [her jaw drops and she rises quickly as Sally LeRoy enters the room, naked from the waist up, carrying a serving tray with glasses on it] Oh, my GOD!
- Sally Leroy: [pulls an innocent look as the young men mutter approvingly] It's only tiger's milk.
- Mrs. Daphne Flatow: [babbling hysterically as she is arrested for being "overage"] No! No, no, no, I'm young! I'm young! It must be a mistake! I'm VERY young! I'm VERY YOUNG! I'm one... I'm one of them.
- The Hook, Abraham: [unimpressed and taking her into custody anyway] Lady... you are the biggest "mother" of them all.
- Mrs. Daphne Flatow: [still babbling hysterically] No! No, no, no! I'm Aryan! I'm Aryan! I mean, I'm young! I'm young! I'm young!
- Mrs. Daphne Flatow: Ever since the accident, I've... I've been under care of an LSD therapist and I understand my son now. I understand him completely.
- Max Frost: You want to know what the State of the Union is... and I'm gonna tell you what the State of the Union is. There are folks that say that there is a fly in the ointment. And it's not the Communists. And it's not the Birchers. There is a villain in history, though. And it's not the Jews. It's not the labor leaders. It's not the bankers. And it's not the Russians. And it isn't even the Chinese. Who? Who after all, then, has caused all of our troubles? Those who are stiff, baby! Not with love, but with age! While we're young, we've lived in small pads with no bread. While they're living high and fat... with all the money! Well, troops, I want to tell you that they're heavy with honey. And they can't fly. You better believe me that they can't fly! Now, some of us have changed this for ourselves already. But now we're gonna change it for everyone. You give me the tools! You give me the laws! Give... *me*... the power!
- Narrator: By the age of 22, Max Flatow, Jr., now known as Max Frost, from his palatial Beverly Hills home, Max operates 14 interlocking companies. A multimillionaire, after taxes. Sources of revenue include personal appearances, records, and Max's own music publishing company. A leader of men... and of little girls.
- Max Frost: Now, let's talk about chicks. You know that I have never met a chick who admitted to being 35. Unless, maybe, she was 75.
- Sally Leroy: We suggest that the required age of a Representative be - 14... for a Senator - 14... for President - 14.
- Senator Johnny Fergus: Sorry I'm late. It's not easy getting around Washington these days, is it?
- Jimmy Fergus: No, no, you have to kinda tiptoe between the teenagers.
- Jimmy Fergus: I'm part of Max's political brain trust. You see, you put down the Republicans, Dad. That's easy. But you Democrats, you solved all your problems 30 years ago, too. The same as them. There aren't going to be any wars any more. Not big ones. We know that! You know, if we didn't have a foreign policy, we wouldn't even have small wars. Max feels that we don't need a foreign policy. And at home, everybody's rich! And if they're not, they can sleep on the beaches and live like the rich anyway. There aren't any Negroes any more, the way you Democrats seem to think. You think you see them. But I don't think I see them! All I see is a man who got out on the shore and started his tan sooner than I did... when that New Order comes in.
- Mrs. Daphne Flatow: I'm very flattered that you've chosen to visit us. I don't understand, what... what did you mean by my... my son's reign of terror?
- Senator Johnny Fergus: We're desperate, Mrs. Flatow. He's paralyzed the country. You see, if you...
- Mrs. Daphne Flatow: Senator, I'm sure my son has a very good reason for paralyzing the country.
- Max Frost: I won't talk to Eisenhower. I ain't gonna talk to Rockefeller and I won't talk to Dirksen.
- The Hook, Abraham: You gotta be out of your Chinese skull.
- Max Frost: I won't take their nomination. I run my own party or I run Democrat.
- The Hook, Abraham: You're really getting square. Tell him.
- Jimmy Fergus: The Republicans want you, Max. You don't even have to pull any stunts. They've been lookin' for a hero ever since they lost Eisenhower.
- Billy Cage: Nixon would sure look dumb with long hair.
- The Hook, Abraham: And Ronald Reagan would look worse!
- TV Newscaster: Who in America can truly resist the clarion call of youth? Never has it been so brazenly sounded. Experience... it has brought you nothing. Max Frost has told you that. Down with experience.
- Max Frost: What about the possibility of underground railroads? By that you mean, our old people are being smuggled into Canada, Cuba and Mexico? Yes. As you know, the President of Mexico and the Prime Minister of Canada and Fidel Castro are all very old men. They're old-fashioned and they're old! I say to them, do they think they can stop the revolution that is coming in their own country? Do they think our old people will prolong their existence for a year? A month? Or even a day?
- Narrator: America is now planning to withdraw from its international commitments... to the relief of many, the despair of few. In addition, our armed forces are to be disbanded. The President has said that, with our immense wealth, we will be able to create the most purely hedonistic society the world has ever known. We have already begun shipping free grain to all the hungry countries on this planet.
- Narrator: One of Max's latest creature comforts, ex-child star Sally LeRoy. 24. Vegetarian. Mystic. Acid-head.
- Senator Johnny Fergus: [introducing Max to his two sons, Jimmy and Joseph] These are your great fans. Meeting the President didn't mean anything, but you're...
- The Hook, Abraham: More famous than Jesus.
- Max Frost: We got votes, but we don't have enough. How do you break a deadlock in Washington?
- Billy Cage: Blackmail!
- [first lines]
- Mrs. Daphne Flatow: I don't want to have a baby. I never wanted a baby. My mother said I'm gonna die if I have a baby.
- Max Jacob Flatow, Sr.: Come on, please, come to bed.
- Mrs. Daphne Flatow: No!
- Max Jacob Flatow, Sr.: I won't do anything! I promise you. I won't do a thing.
- Mrs. Daphne Flatow: If it's a boy, I'll die. I'll just die.
- Max Frost: They're the minority! We're the majority!
- [singing]
- Max Frost: Baby, we've made it/We're at 52%/Well, we're 52%... they write the TV shows for us/We're 52%... they design the clothes for us/We're 52%... they play the songs we dig/We're 52%... and we make big business big/We're 52%... they know we set the trend/We're 52%... and their economy depends on/52%, babies... you and me/We're a power/We're a faction in their Great Society...
- Max Frost: [singing] Tune in to the message that you hear/It's coming in, it's coming in loud and clear/Just listen to the music/That's all you got to do/Just listen to the music/And just follow where it's leading you...
- Max Frost: What about the chicks? I mean, nobody gave them the vote. They fought for it! "Be cool," they tell us. Man, cool is out! The chicks would have killed for the vote. What about you?
- Max Frost: You know, we got the old tigers scared, baby. 'Cause right now we outnumber the fuzz. And we outnumber the shopkeepers. We can talk all the old tigers and stuff 'em back into their tank. We've got more cats than Mahatma Gandhi had.
- Max Frost: I want the hippies! I want the heads! I want all of you! I want the two car kids! I want the mother-lovers! I want the all-in-one bedroom kids with their Mama! And I want the ones who can't even stand their old ladies! I want all of you!
- Senator Amos Allbright: Our great Republic has found its strength and wisdom in the mysterious will of the electorate. Man, that's some far out religious bag.
- Max Frost: Now you let the chicks vote, we're gonna get the vote.
- TV Newscaster: For 40 days and 40 nights, the sit-down has spread like a vast multicolored beach blanket from the Capitol to the White House. Teenagers have poured in from all parts of the country, on every plane, on every train.
- Senator Johnny Fergus: You could drive a man to drink!
- Jimmy Fergus: You see? You're part of that alcoholic generation, Dad. You *need* to drink.
- Senator Johnny Fergus: Stop it! I ought to take you over my knee and beat the...
- Jimmy Fergus: That would be your solution, wouldn't it?
- Senator Johnny Fergus: Sit! Sit down.
- Jimmy Fergus: Dad, I have the vote now. Remember? In your own way, I suppose you're a great man. You helped us start it all. But, you know, I really don't dig that family scene. That's your hang-up, Senator. Not mine.
- Mary Fergus: Johnny? You're drunk!
- Senator Johnny Fergus: Damn right, I'm drunk. I'm part of that alcoholic generation. We pour napalm on our own men. We do it because we're drunk! Good old, old, patriotic drunk!
- Mrs. Daphne Flatow: I could not persuade my son from his purposes. You never read in the Bible about the mother of Jesus persuading her son from his purposes.
- Max Frost: We're gonna make 30 a mandatory retirement age. And we're gonna set up rehabilitation camps, mercy centers, in every state of the Union. Citizens will report to them after five years, at the age of 35. And there, in groovy surroundings, we're gonna psych 'em all out on LSD, babies. That way, they're not gonna hurt you and they're not gonna hurt me and, babies, they're not even gonna hurt themselves anymore. They want drafters, we'll draft them! And some of 'em are really gonna dig it and that's gonna be the real motherlovin' gas. There's gonna be cats that want to split from taxes, Diner's Club. Crazy birds. Crazy wives and crazy husbands. Millions, troops. But millions are gonna go willingly! This time they don't owe nobody nothin'. And baby, what a wrap-up!
- Max Frost: [singing] Don't be afraid, you ain't gonna lose your way/Just listen to the music/That's all you got to do/Just listen to the music/It'll take you where you want to go/Close the door and open up your mind...
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