The Bad News Bears (1976)
Walter Matthau: Coach Morris Buttermaker
Photos
Quotes
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Coach Morris Buttermaker : Those boys aren't very rough. You won't get hurt.
Amanda Whurlitzer : That's got nothing to do with it. I'm almost 12 and I'll... I'll be getting a bra soon.
[Buttermaker stares. Amanda looks at her chest]
Amanda Whurlitzer : Well, maybe in a year or so. I can't be playing all dumb baseball.
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Coach Morris Buttermaker : This quitting thing, it's a hard habit to break once you start.
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Engelberg : You're not supposed to have open liquor in the car. It's against the law.
Coach Morris Buttermaker : So is murder, Engleberg. Now put that back before you get me in real trouble.
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Coach Morris Buttermaker : Listen, Lupus, you didn't come into this life just to sit around on a dugout bench, did ya? Now get your ass out there and do the best you can.
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[after the Bears lose 18-0]
Coach Morris Buttermaker : Come on, fellas. Rome wasn't built in a day.
Ogilvie : Yeah, it took several hundred years.
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Coach Morris Buttermaker : [looks at Tanner's black eye] What the hell happened to you, Tanner?
Engelberg : Tanner got into a fight
[because of the first game loss]
Coach Morris Buttermaker : Who with?
Engelberg : The 7th Grade.
Coach Morris Buttermaker : What?
Engelberg : [shouts] The 7th Grade.
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Engelberg : [helping Buttermaker clean pools] When we're through, can we go swimming?
Coach Morris Buttermaker : No! Don't jump in Engleberg, you'll flood the valley.
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Coach Morris Buttermaker : What if he tries something?
Amanda Whurlitzer : I'll handle it.
Coach Morris Buttermaker : Rolling Stones, 11 years old.
Amanda Whurlitzer : I know an 11-year-old girl who is already on the pill.
Coach Morris Buttermaker : Don't ever say that word again.
Amanda Whurlitzer : Jesus! Just who in the heck you think you are?
Coach Morris Buttermaker : The goddamned manager, that's who!
Amanda Whurlitzer : Big wow!
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Coach Morris Buttermaker : Jumping catfish! What a great arm! Who is that kid, anyway?
Toby Whitewood : Of course he's got a great arm, Buttermaker. He's the best athlete in the area. But you don't understand, that's Kelly Leak.
Ahmad Abdul Rahim : You guys talking about Kelly Leak?
Coach Morris Buttermaker : Yeah.
Ahmad Abdul Rahim : That dude is a bad mother. You talk about a loan shark. I borrowed a nickel from him last week. He said if I didn't give him a dime by Friday, he'd break my arm.
Miguel Agilar : Es un bandido.
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Jimmy Feldman : [team riding in Buttermaker's car to practice] If you were so great, how come you never made it to the major leagues?
Coach Morris Buttermaker : Contract disputes.
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Coach Morris Buttermaker : What's the matter with you? All season long you've been laughed at, crapped on. Now, you've got a chance to spit it back in their faces and what do you do? You're out there like a bunch of dead fish, not listening, bonehead plays, mistakes! I mean, don't you want to beat those bastards!
[Long pause - Bears stare in silence back at Butterworth]
Coach Morris Buttermaker : Alright, get out there now and - do the best you can.
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Coach Morris Buttermaker : [handing out cups and supporters to the boys] There is one thing I forgot to tell you guys. It's a league rule: cups and supporters.
[everyone complains]
Coach Morris Buttermaker : Gotta be worn at all times.
[more complaints]
Coach Morris Buttermaker : Either you wear 'em or you don't wear 'em and you don't play.
Jose Agilar : ¡Yo no me voy a poner esto! ¡Esto duele!
[Throws his back in the box]
Jose Agilar : ["I'm not going to wear this! It hurts!"]
Coach Morris Buttermaker : What? What are you saying?
Ogilvie : I've been brushing up on my Spanish of late, and I think he is saying something about, you know, his being Catholic, and it's a sin.
Coach Morris Buttermaker : Oh, for Christ's sake.
[hands it back to Jose]
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Coach Morris Buttermaker : Now get back to the stands before I shave off half your mustache and shove it up your left nostril.
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Coach Morris Buttermaker : [trying to console Ahmad after his errors in the first loss] There was nothing easy about those fly balls, Ahmad. They were tough chances! The sun was in your eyes!
Ahmad Abdul Rahim : Don't give me none of your honky bullshit, Buttermaker. I know they were easy.
Coach Morris Buttermaker : Let's not bring race into this, Ahmad. We got enough problems as it is.
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P.A. Announcer : [announcing Mets batter] Carl Paranski, Number 6...
Coach Morris Buttermaker : [yelling to Bears fielders] The cool Carl Paranski shift!
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Coach Morris Buttermaker : Hey, can't you hold off of that until after practice?
Engelberg : There's energy in chocolate. I need energy.
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Coach Morris Buttermaker : Well, your mother and I didn't got along too well, Amanda. I liked her very much, though. I still do. As a matter of fact I'm just not the marrying kind. But I guess I handled it badly, huh?
Amanda Whurlitzer : You handled it like shit!
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Coach Morris Buttermaker : [leading team chant] A busted bat and a long fly ball...
Bad News Bears : Any day now, Durocher will call!
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Coach Morris Buttermaker : [after team takes vote to quit the league] Do you want to quit, Tanner?
Tanner Boyle : Crud, No! I want to play ball!
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Coach Morris Buttermaker : [at batting practice] Hey, Ahmad - even Hank Aaron peels the ol' eyelids before he takes a swing!
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Coach Morris Buttermaker : All I know is when we win a game, it's a team win. When we lose a game, it's a team loss.
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Coach Morris Buttermaker : First base, second base, third base, home!
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Coach Morris Buttermaker : Hey pusshead! Are you crazy? An intentional walk with the bases empty? This is baseball, not backgammon!
Coach Roy Turner : My first baseman's lonely.
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Amanda Whurlitzer : Hey, Buttermaker! Maybe next spring you'll teach me how to hit.
Coach Morris Buttermaker : You bet.
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[hitting batting practice]
Coach Morris Buttermaker : [yells to infield] All right, look alive! Let's get one out there!
[to Engleberg]
Coach Morris Buttermaker : Are you ready?
[Buttermaker bunts in front of the plate]
Coach Morris Buttermaker : Engleberg?
Engelberg : [exasperated] What?
Coach Morris Buttermaker : That is a bunt - B-U-N-T. The catcher is supposed to pick up the bunt and throw it to first base.
Engelberg : Well, how was I supposed to know? You made such a big deal yelling out to them.
Coach Morris Buttermaker : [sighs] Diversionary tactic, Engleberg. Now get the ball...
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Engelberg : [Takes half-empty pint of whiskey from Buttermaker's glove box and holds it up] You're not supposed to have open liquor in the car. It's against the law.
Coach Morris Buttermaker : So is murder, Engelberg. Now put it back before you get me into real trouble.
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Coach Morris Buttermaker : Now, guys, somebody's gonna pay for this windshield. And I think, Engelberg, it's gonna be your father.
Engelberg : Bullshit.
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Coach Morris Buttermaker : There's chocolate all over this ball.
Engelberg : Look, Mr. Buttermaker, quit buggin' me about food. People are always buggin' me about it. My shrink says that's why I'm so fat! So you're not doin' me any good, so just quit it!
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Amanda : Twelve ballet lessons.
Coach Morris Buttermaker : Nine ballet lessons. They're three dollars a shot, for cryin' out loud. I can't afford...
Amanda : Twelve ballet lesson or no go.
[takes Buttermaker's cigar and throws it out of the car]
Coach Morris Buttermaker : What are you doin'? Give me that! Ah, I just lit that cigar. That's terrible. Make it nine ballet lessons...
Amanda : I want the imported kind of jeans.
Coach Morris Buttermaker : Jeans?
Amanda : Yes.
Coach Morris Buttermaker : What are you talking about.
Amanda : French jeans.
Coach Morris Buttermaker : I'm not gettin' you any jeans.
Amanda : French jeans.
Coach Morris Buttermaker : You know how many pools y'gotta clean...
Amanda : Expensive kind.
Coach Morris Buttermaker : To get you a pair of imported jeans? What's a matter with American jeans?
Amanda : I don't like 'em.
Coach Morris Buttermaker : Who do you think you are? Catfish Hunter?
Amanda : Who's he?
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Coach Morris Buttermaker : You probably lost on purpose. You probably like the little baboon.
Amanda : Blow it out your bunghole!
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Coach Morris Buttermaker : Look, Amanda, you're a terrific kid. You shouldn't be hanging around with me. I mean, I'm an old, broken-down, third rate ball player. I like to drink too much. I like to smoke my cigars without anybody bothering me, including you. I'm happy that way! I'm a bum!
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Coach Morris Buttermaker : The first inside pitch you get, lean into it and let it hit you.
Rudi Stein : But, I want to...
Coach Morris Buttermaker : You want to win the game, don't you?
Rudi Stein : Well, I don't want to get hurt.
Coach Morris Buttermaker : Alright. Alright. But, you want to win the game.