- Frankie Funai: That man sitting over there is Johnny Wadd.
- Augre Valentine Valenti: Johnny Wadd. So, he's the one with the "meat". Should we package him?
- Frankie Funai: We really should.
- Augre Valentine Valenti: Johnny Wadd walked into my nightclub yesterday.
- Tony Sorrento: How do you know it was Johnny Wadd?
- Augre Valentine Valenti: One of the waitresses went out with him. All she could talk about was that gigantic cock of his.
- Tony Sorrento: Sounds like Johnny Wadd.
- Johnny Wadd: [voice-over] When I got there, I found that San Francisco is still the beautiful city on the bay as it always has been. Going to San Francisco is a bit like stepping into the past with its marvelous old buildings and cable cars. It's a city with a tradition of elegance and a taste for beauty. But San Francisco is still a modern city, and like all modern cities it can have a taste of the things that are not elegant or beautiful. And that's why I was here.
- Charlee Hammond: Wait a minute - how do I know you are Johnny Wadd? You've seen my identification, now I'd like to see yours.
- Johnny Wadd: Fair enough. Here, lady, let me show you my identification.
- [Unzips trousers]
- Charlee Hammond: [Gasps] Mr. Wadd! I never...