- Schultz: What do you look forward to?
- Herr Schroeder: After the war? I look forward to going back to my old job in civilian street.
- Schultz: What did you do?
- Herr Schroeder: I was an income tax inspector.
- Schultz: Very different from the Gestapo.
- Herr Schroeder: Not the way I do it!
- Major Robinson: [to the late General Erhardt] Come on, you. Don't try the old 'Dead Kraut' act with me!