- Jack: What are you running away for? All we're gonna do is make love. Now there's nothing much wrong with that, is there? Matter of fact, this is your lucky day. You know why? 'Cause you're with the best, lady. You are with the ever-lovin' best. Matter of fact, I think maybe you should say, "Thank you Mr. Rapist, for choosing me". Yeah, you say that. Come on now, you say that! "Thank you Mr. Rapist!"
- Linda: [muffled, through her gag] Thank you Mr. Rapist.
- Jack: Ah, that's better. You're welcome.
- Woman in Nude Spa: Excuse me, I overheard you talking about your group and I have a question- a couple months ago I was attacked...
- Linda: Raped!
- [woman in nude spa smiles vacantly and nods]
- Jack: In fact, this is your lucky day. You know why? Because you're with the best, lady. You're with the ever-loving best. You just keep on fighting me, 'cause that's what makes it good.
- Karen: I hope you run into a big mean 300 pound faggot killer, and I hope that faggot rips off your clothes and sodomizes you in your big fat ass! And, after all that, I hope you run into some dumb son of a bitch like yourself and he has the nerve to say something about laying back and enjoying it!
- Bernie: I always knew dirty phone calls would eventually lead to actual sex, and tonight's the night!
- Jack: Now, you are about to have the very very best. But I think a little music would be appropriate. So why don't you sing me some Jingle Bells. Come on, you just sing it for me.
- Linda: [crying] Nooooo...
- Jack: I said sing Jingle Bells!
- Linda: Jingle Bells...
- Jack: That's right.
- Linda: Jingle Bells...
- Jack: That's right. That's good. Yeah, music is always good for balling.
- Linda: Oh what fun it is to ride in a one horse open sleigh!
- [crying]
- Linda: Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells...
- Jack: Oh yeah!
- Linda: Jingle all...
- [crying]
- Jack: Oh yeah. Jingle all the way!
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