Alex Harvey credited as playing...
Ernie
- Ernie: I must be goin' psycho or something. I smell dead Commies.
- George Adams: Oh, those are loyal American chickens. I got a feelin' the Summers produce house suffered some heavy losses recently.
- Ernie: Yeah, it's a very lousy smell.
- George Adams: Well, I'm talkin' to Floyd Summers.
- Ernie: Well, don't wait.
- George Adams: Well, what's it gonna be, huh? Now come on... gonna' be the GI bill or what?
- Ernie: I'm still sufferin' from combat fatigue. I'm thinkin' in terms of beer drinkin', fishin' and girls. And not necessarily in that order. Which reminds me, how is your sister-in-law?
- George Adams: Well, why don't you go find out for yourself?
- Ernie: Beauty, brawn and brains.
- George Adams: We raised her in an atmosphere of culture. Are you interested?
- Ernie: I'm keepin' my plans loose for the moment.
- Ernie: See, a woman is a cello.
- George Adams: Huh?
- Ernie: A woman is a cello, and man must fiddle with great finesse otherwise no beautiful music is forthcoming.
- Ernie: Well, mornin' George. I hope I'm not interruptin' anything.
- George Adams: It's afternoon, Ernie, and this is Miss Sharp.
- Ernie: Mmm, hmm. Sure is.
- George Adams: Miss Sharp's here to do a story on the typical Oklahoma town with an empty water tower.
- Ann Sharp: It's symbolic, I think. You know, the locomotive going the way of your ancient tower.
- Ernie: You know, I couldn't agree with ya more. I'm Ernie Lankford.
- George Adams: He's our town bum.
- Ernie: Now that's not exactly correct. What I am is a Korean War hero recently returned from battle. I'm just working on the bum part of my career.
- Ernie: [after shooting a bank robber] You know what I think, George?
- George Adams: Don't tell me.
- Ernie: I think I got homicidal tendencies. I'm just a homicidal maniac, that's me.
- George Adams: He was robbin' a bank, and he's still livin'.
- George Adams: Ernie, Ernie, you're drunk.
- Ernie: I'm gonna kill me a buzzard.
- George Adams: Yeah, who?
- Ernie: Olin. Olin Summers.
- George Adams: Olin? Why?
- Ernie: He took out Mandy.
- George Adams: Oh, whatta you care? I thought you were hot after that... that lady.
- Ernie: George, George, a man can't marry a body. A man's gotta marry a person.