Mark Wingett credited as playing...
DC Jim Carver • PC Jim Carver • D.C. Jim Carver • D.C. Carver • P.C. Carver • P.C. Jim Carver • DS Jim Carver
- [about Inspector Gina Gold]
- PC Jim Carver: How's the dragon this morning? Is she breathing fire or smoking it?
- DC Jim Carver: Here you go: one fresh tortoise.
- PC Reg Hollis: Oh, dear.
- PC Honey Harman: What?
- PC Reg Hollis: Well, it's just as I thought... It's Greek.
- PC Honey Harman: How can you tell that?
- DC Jim Carver: The accent?
- PC Reg Hollis: It's where they come from when they're imported from the wild. Has he got any others?
- DC Jim Carver: No, that was the last one. But he said he was expecting another delivery this evening.
- PC Gary Best: Is this serious? We're doing a stakeout on some tortoises?
- PC Reg Hollis: Yeah, all right, Gary, no jesting. Look, Jim's got some very good information that the man in the shop round the corner is expecting a delivery tonight of illegally-imported wild tortoises. Get yourself outside the shop where you can have a good look at the front of it.
- PC Gary Best: Is there a back entrance?
- DC Jim Carver: No.
- PC Reg Hollis: And listen, if it all goes off, we're just here, give us a shout.
- PC Gary Best: All goes off? These tortoises on crack or what? I've always wanted to be in the flying squad, and this is obviously what it's like!
- PC Jim Carver: Say you got a credit card, right?
- DC Alfred 'Tosh' Lines: Yep.
- PC Jim Carver: And some slag's got your details...
- DC Alfred 'Tosh' Lines: Yep, yep.
- PC Jim Carver: And they're usin' it, buying stuff.
- DC Alfred 'Tosh' Lines: Yep, yep, what's your point?
- PC Jim Carver: Well, you are still entitled to the points aren't you?
- DC Alfred 'Tosh' Lines: Penetrating intelligence like yours, Jim, I don't know why you've not been promoted.
- PC Jim Carver: You takin' the mickey?