Scott Schwartz credited as playing...
Flick
- Flick: Are you kidding? Stick my tongue to that stupid pole? That's dumb!
- Schwartz: That's 'cause you know it'll stick!
- Flick: You're full of it!
- Schwartz: Oh yeah?
- Flick: Yeah!
- Schwartz: Well I double-DOG-dare ya!
- Ralphie as an Adult: [narrating] NOW it was serious. A double-dog-dare. What else was there but a "triple dare you"? And then, the coup de grace of all dares, the sinister triple-dog-dare.
- Schwartz: I TRIPLE-dog-dare ya!
- Ralphie as an Adult: [narrating] Schwartz created a slight breach of etiquette by skipping the triple dare and going right for the throat!
- Schwartz: Hey, smart ass. I asked my old man about sticking your tongue to a flagpole in the winter, and he says that it'll freeze right to the pole, just like I told ya.
- Flick: Ah, baloney. What would your old man know about anything?
- Schwartz: He knows, because he once saw a guy stick his tongue to a railroad track on a bet, and the fire department had to come get the guy's tongue off the track, because he couldn't get it off.
- Randy: [is trying to catch up] C'mon, guys! Wait up! C'mon, guys! Wait up!
- [Ralphie and his friends are heading to the school]
- Flick: Do you know what I'm getting for my old man for Christmas?
- Schwartz, Ralphie: Yeah, what?
- Flick: A rose that squirts. People come to smell it, it squirts them.
- Schwartz: I'm getting my old man a Flit gun.
- Ralphie: A Flit gun?
- Schwartz: Yeah.
- [Scut Farkus roaring at them, hanging on the monkey bars. They began to screaming and running to school. Grover Dill stops them]
- Grover Dill: Stop right there.
- Ralphie: Who, me?
- Grover Dill: Yeah, you! Get over there!
- Ralphie: I can't now, Grover. I've... I've gotta go see Miss Shields.
- [They ran into school]
- Grover Dill: Hey, come here! Get back here!
- Scut Farkus: Yeah, you get back here! Come back here!
- [to Flick]
- Scut Farkus: You... come here.
- Flick: Who, me?
- Grover Dill: No, your Aunt Tilly. Yeah, you. Get over here!
- [Flick comes to them]
- Flick: Uncle, uncle, uncle, uncle, uncle.
- [Scut Farkus grabs his arms, he screams]
- Flick: UNCLE! UNCLE!