David Jason: Toad

The Wind in the Willows

Toad

Toad: [flags down Reggie, the motorist] I say, I wonder if you could help me. Having a spot of bother with me car.
Reggie: Oh? Wh-wh-what sort of bother?
Toad: Um... em... it's the... uh... crankshaft... it's um... flat.
Reggie: Really? Ah ha... I should be able to fix that.
Reggie's Wife: Oh, shall I come too Reggie?
[gets out of the car]
Reggie: Uh. Wh-wh-wh-where's your machine?
Toad: [gestures to a spot behind him] Oh... it's over there. If you'd just take a look at it?
Reggie: Oh c-certainly old bean. Anything for a fellow motorist.
[as soon as they move away from their car, Mr. Toad gets in, puts it in gear and drives away]
Reggie: Oh, I say!
[they see Mr. Toad driving down the road erratically, laughing, honking the horn]
Reggie's Wife: Oh. Reggie.

Toad: [having just overflown his friends in his new airplane] Ha ha! Hello you fellows!
Rat: You maniac!
Badger: LOCK HIM UP!
Mole: Toad! This time you've gone too far!
Toad: Hang motoring! This is the life!

Mole: [after crashing his second car] You know, I really am worried about Toad.
Rat: Oh, don't you worry. It's just another one of his passions. He'll grow out of it.
Toad: [off in the distance] Poop-poop!
Rat: I hope.

Reggie: [giving his statement to the Police Office about his stolen car] A fellow there flagged me down, cobbled a story about a "flat crankshaft." Well, so I help a fellow motorist, go out, galloped away! Th-the chap's a damn frog!
Toad: [hears noises. All three turn to see Toad in Reggie's car, still honking the horn and making car noises] Poop-poop!
Reggie: I say!
Toad: [Toad roars past, knocking the police officer and his bicycle over, and Reggie into the arms of his wife] Wha-wha-hey hey-hey!
[to the officer]
Toad: Fat face!