- Grace Quigley: He *took* my shoe!
- Seymour Flint: You mean, you want me to kill somebody because they *took* your shoe?
- Grace Quigley: Seymour, it was my best shoe!
- Seymour Flint: Ma, you're asking me to commit murder!
- Grace Quigley: Son, I may ask you to kill, but I would never ask you to murder! Call it pest control.
- Seymour Flint: You know, I've never known any old people before.
- Grace Quigley: Neither had I until one day I looked around and discovered I was one.
- Seymour Flint: I guess I can do a lot of people some good, can't I?
- Grace Quigley: I told you, Seymour. Think of yourself as a doctor. A doctor saves the lives of those who want to live, you take the lives of those who want to die. Seymour, listen to me, those five people who need your services are all lovely people. They need your help and your talent to free them of their misery. Seymour, listen to me - I was a good mother, I never told any of my children to do anything wrong and I wouldn't tell you. So be a good boy, Seymour. Help them! Kill them!
- Mr. Jenkins: After this party, I could never face my friends again if I were alive.
- Seymour Flint: Why would a man like you, with all these friends, want to get himself killed?
- Mr. Jenkins: Truth is, all my life I've really always been very shy around people. I guess I try to make up for that by making as many friends as I could. You know, doing nice little things for 'em. Well, I'm not too strong anymore and I've just about run out of money. Pretty soon I won't be able to do much of anything for anyone. I had though maybe my family would care, but all they wanted to do was send me to a little furnished room where I could die in front of a TV set. That's too slow, Mr. Flint. Too painful and too lonely. So thanks again for helping me out.
- Seymour Flint: It's your funeral.
- Grace Quigley: How much do you charge to give someone the rub, or whatever it;s called in your profession?
- Seymour Flint: I really don't like sitting down and having little chats with people I got a contract on.
- Seymour Flint: Do you mind if we leave? Let's go.
- Muriel: But I just got here.
- Seymour Flint: That's the best time to go.
- Grace Quigley: [the singing stops] But Seymour, there's another verse.
- Seymour Flint: Not this time, Ma.
- Grace Quigley: Ohhh.
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