- Samantha Blair: I'm tired, darling. Don't you think you've had enough? It's late.
- Joel Blair: Just a bit more. Okay, Mom?
- Samantha Blair: Okay.
- Joel Blair: [reading from "Tom Sawyer"] 'Now, let's fetch the guns and things,' said Huck. No, Huck, leave them there. They're just the tricks to have when we go to robbing. We'll keep them there all the time, and we'll hold our or - or -
- [stops reading]
- Joel Blair: Mom? How do you say o-r-g-i-e-s?
- Samantha Blair: What? What are you reading?
- Joel Blair: Tom Sawyer! Now, how do you say that word? Or...
- Samantha Blair: Orgies. Just, orgies. Now, hurry up and finish that page, okay?
- Joel Blair: 'They will hold our orgies.' Mom, what's an orgies?
- Samantha Blair: Do you remember what I told you about a man and woman being in love and making babies?
- Joel Blair: Yes!
- Samantha Blair: Well, an orgy's people doing that, without the love that makes it so nice.
- Joel Blair: How come Tom Sawyer's gonna have some orgies?
- Samantha Blair: I think he's talking' about something the pirates are gonna do.
- Joel Blair: Did you have an orgies, Mom?
- Samantha Blair: No! In fact, your Mom hasn't had a lot of anything lately.
- T.V. Director: Camera positions, please. Nick, let's get set up and how about reminding the girls that we're also looking at teeth today.
- Jack Pearson: She's not so hot. She's not so hot.
- Debbie Martin: Who's hot?
- Jack Pearson: Eh?
- Debbie Martin: Come on. Come on!
- [kiss]
- Jack Pearson: You are.
- Debbie Martin: How hot?
- Jack Pearson: Hot.
- Debbie Martin: How hot?
- Jack Pearson: You are. You're hot.
- Debbie Martin: How hot?
- Jack Pearson: Very hot. You're hot!
- Samantha Blair: [toast] To buying the building.
- KC: Cool down, Sam. It's only a local show. Don't let it go to your head.
- Patty: To good head!
- Samantha Blair: Alright!
- Samantha Blair: [to Steve] Let's go home to your place and get some exercise.
- [raises one eyebrow, smiles]
- Samantha Blair: You want to be on TV?
- Jack Pearson: No, thanks. Beside you, I'd fade right into the scenery. I'll just settle for being one of your groupies.
- Samantha Blair: Aren't you a little old for that?
- Jack Pearson: Maybe I'll appoint myself President of your Fan Club.
- Samantha Blair: And Secretary?
- Jack Pearson: And Treasurer. And sole member.
- Samantha Blair: And, of course, I'd have to attend all the meetings.
- Jack Pearson: That's the idea.
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