- Miguel: [back home after being given in adoption to a pedophiliac dentist] At first it was fun, but I am too young to be tied down.
- Cristal: The sooner you learn about what life is about, the better. Here. If you need something else, just ask. Better start with me than any slut.
- Abuela: How's the homework going?
- Toni: It's crap.
- Abuela: I'll give you a hand.
- Toni: Let's see. Tell me who are the romantics and who are the realists?
- Toni: Ibsen.
- Abuela: Romantic.
- Toni: Lord Byron.
- Abuela: Realist.
- Toni: Goethe.
- Abuela: Another realist.
- Toni: And Balzac.
- Abuela: Romantic. See how easy it is.
- Toni: It sure is.
- Lucas Villalba: Letters from Hitler?
- Antonio: Yeah, she was a bit of a Nazi. I'm going to tell you a secret. I wrote them.
- Lucas Villalba: What?
- Antonio: I copy handwriting, but I'm not a forger. I did it for her, for Ingrid Muller.
- Lucas Villalba: The one who was mad about you.
- Antonio: Not that I like it, but she asked me to, and women, when thy want something...
- Lucas Villalba: Didn't anyone find you out?
- Antonio: Of course not. Not even Hitler, may he rest in peace, would have known.
- Abuela: Your feet are just like your father's. When you take your shoes off, it's the same strong and powerful smell as your father's. I can hardly breathe.
- Cristal: Want a little something?
- Lucas Villalba: Yeah, bend over. I'm getting this great idea that'd make more money than a porno novel.
- Cristal: Aren't writers wicked?
- Lucas Villalba: Yeah, the good ones.
- Cristal: Will you come back?
- Lucas Villalba: I don't know.
- Cristal: If you don't, I'll tell your wife.
- Lucas Villalba: You don't know her! She's a witch!
- Cristal: I just wanted to excite you, I wouldn't do that.
- Cristal: You're not a real sadist.
- Lucas Villalba: Of course not! I just wanted some information to write a little prono novel. A best-seller type.
- Lucas Villalba: What's that?
- Cristal: A stick. I couldn't find a whip. Shall I start beating you?
- Lucas Villalba: Of course not. What I wanted was some commonplace scene of elegant, sophisticated sadism, like in French films.
- Lucas Villalba: Maids inspire writers. Truman Capote wrote his best novel with his maid.
- Patricia: To write like him, you'll need more than a maid.
- Cristal: Do you want to make some easy money?
- Gloria: For God's sake!
- Cristal: You don't have to move! He's waiting.
- Gloria: Don't be crazy! I'm not starting at my age. Antonio will be here any minute.
- Cristal: It won't take long. All you have to do is sit by the bed and watch. He's an exhibitionist. It couldn't be easier.
- Gloria: Okay, but if he touches me, I'm off. I'm not in a joking mood today.
- Cliente 'Striptease': At first glance, I may look too thin, but don't believe it. My arms, for example, are stronger than they look. But a man doesn't screw with his arms. My torso may seem too skinny, but a man doesn't screw with his torso. My legs? My legs aren't those of a sportsman, but a man doesn't screw with his legs. What does a man screw with? You? You?
- Gloria: With his cock.
- Cristal: With his cock?
- Cliente 'Striptease': Exactly. That's what I'm getting at. I have a huge cock! Every time I enter a woman's vagina, I destroy her!
- Gloria: Jesus!
- Cliente 'Striptease': That's why I've got to go with whores with big cunts stretched through use. Normal women won't go with me. They should like it, but they're scared. And my spunk! You can't imagine what it's like. So white! So thick! Such pressure. It's like a geyser! Great for the skin.
- Pedro: Impotence is caused by what we call anxiety of execution.
- Cristal: [with Polo, pretending to be his girlfriend] Yes, of course.
- Pedro: Too much importance is given to coitus. There are other ways to find pleasure.
- Cristal: Yes, many, many.
- Pedro: Accordingly, try to avoid an erection. We will start with some re-sensualization exercises. You've got nice bodies.
- Cristal: Thank you very much.
- Pedro: So play with them and enjoy them, but no erection and, of course, no penetration. And the anxiety will disappear.
- Cristal: Yeah, but if he gets...? Well, you understand me.
- Pedro: Gets an erection? No, I don't think so.
- Cristal: Yes, but from what you've told us... Well, he very well could...
- Pedro: In that case, it's up to you two.
- Cristal: She's bitter because no one looks at her. Not all women can have a body like mine, that makes men go wild, but being ugly doesn't mean you have to be rude.
- Polo: If you don't charge me, I won't mention the heroin.
- Cristal: What heroin?
- Polo: In the Chinese box.
- Cristal: Can't you stop poking about? You won't ever get cured like this, and things like this take time.
- Polo: It excites me more if you - if you don't charge me.
- Cristal: I take it now and then to lose weight. Heroin cuts your appetite, in case you didn't know.
- Polo: But you look fine.
- Polo: You want me to look like a cow?
- Cristal: You're such a flatterer! Such a silly cop! It's growing.
- Polo: Better that way.
- Cristal: I like it, but it makes me nervous, like the psychiatrist said...
- Polo: Forget him!
- Cristal: Forget the heroin!
- Polo: You are the only heroine here.
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By what name was What Have I Done to Deserve This? (1984) officially released in India in English?
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