Death Wish 3

I'm having a lot of trouble trying to figure out how to rate this movie. As an actual film, it can't honestly score more than one star out of five. As pure cheese however, you'd have to give this movie a straight up five out of five.

This is probably one of the worst movies I have ever seen. The catch is, it's so bad that it's actually good. Make sense? The movie is infinitely rewatchable and you can always find something new to laugh at every time you pop this sucker in the player. There is very little to tell you about this movie other than if you haven't seen it, you need to. It's unbelievably violent and Ol' Chuck mows down at least a hundred gang members throughout the film's ninety minutes.

I can write an entire dissertation on this film but I've already seen it done on the Web on quite a few sites so I'm not going to bother. Just to remind you, the movie is so bad and unintentionally funny (watching the film again, it'd make sense if the filmmakers were going for laughs) that if you haven't seen it, you need to.

I'll leave you to ponder this one scene and decide for yourselves whether or not this movie is for you or not: Gang bikers come down the street. Angry civilians wait with a chain stretched across the road. Bikers come and are clotheslined off of their bikes when the chain is yanked upwards. While the bikers are on the floor, the civilians come out and shoot all of them, point blank while they lay writhing on the floor. Men, women and oh yes, children come out and join in the festivities, dancing around the dead bodies of the bikers.

Sigh. Instant classic.

RATING: * out of *****.

SHLOCK-O-CHEESE RATING: ***** out of *****.