Private Benjamin (1980)

Goldie Hawn: Judy Benjamin

Photos 

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Quotes 

• [after sex] 

  Judy Benjamin : Now I know what I've been faking all these years.

  Henri Tremont : That was your first?

  Judy Benjamin : And second.

• Judy Benjamin : I think they sent me to the wrong place.

  Capt. Doreen Lewis : Uh-huh.

  Judy Benjamin : See, I did join the army, but I joined a *different* army. I joined the one with the condos and the private rooms.

• Sgt. L.C. Ross : Everybody up! Everybody, Benjamin!

  Judy Benjamin : Oh God, you can't mean me. I worked the night shift! Go check out the bathroom, it's FABULOUS.

• Judy Benjamin : My husband had a heart attack and died on our wedding night, while we were making love.

  Pvt. Mary Lou Glass : Jesus! Benjamin! I don't get it, what do you do after a thing like that?

  Judy Benjamin : Join the Army!

• Capt. Doreen Lewis : Benjamin, you are not FIT to wear that uniform.

  Judy Benjamin : No shit!

• Mrs. Goodman : Judith. Just one thing. If you can remember. What were Yale's last words?

  Judy Benjamin : I'm coming.

• Judy Benjamin : [while she and Henri are standing at the altar]  Henri, I know this is a really awkward time to do this, but I wanna break up.

• Judy Benjamin : What do you want from me? I didn't ask her to punish everybody! Do you think I like schlepping in the rain all day and all night?

  Pvt. Wanda Winter : Just keep marching, Benjamin.

  Judy Benjamin : My name is Judy! J-U-D-Y Judy and I'd like somebody to call me by my name! Oh, okay I took my life in my own hands, I made a mistake fine I'm sorry! I'll never do it again! I wanna wear my sandals... I wanna go out to lunch. I wanna be NORMAL again!

• Judy Benjamin : To be truthful with you, I can't sleep in a room with 20 strangers.

  Capt. Doreen Lewis : Oh dear.

  Judy Benjamin : And I mean look at this place. The army couldn't afford drapes? I'll be up at the crack of dawn here!

• Judy Benjamin : Has anybody ever died from basic?

• Judy Benjamin : Have you seen the bathroom?

  Capt. Doreen Lewis : Do you think that the latrine... do you think that it's unsanitary?

  Judy Benjamin : It's disgusting! There are *urinals* in there!

• Judy Benjamin : Henri, you are a shmuck.

• Judy Benjamin : Daddy - Mom just fainted.

• Judy Benjamin : Don't bad French artists have telephones?

• Judy Benjamin : [heavenward]  Look what we got!

• Capt. Doreen Lewis : I, for one, am not going to sit around with my thumb up my ass while you divulge classified information during the throes of passion.

  Judy Benjamin : Oh, please, I can barely speak during the throes of passion!

• Judy Benjamin : Did this bathroom turn out gorgeous?

  Yale Goodman : This ass is gorgeous.

• Judy Benjamin : Wheels? Mr. Waxman, I wanted upholstered balls.

• Yale Goodman : Wait, honey.

  Judy Benjamin : Yale.

  Yale Goodman : Wait, wait. Just wait.

  Judy Benjamin : Yale.

  Yale Goodman : Lift your back leg.

  Judy Benjamin : I don't have a back leg. Honey, it's our wedding night. You know, it's not real romantic making love in the sink.

• Judy Benjamin : What is this, Hell Week?

  Sgt. L.C. Ross : No, Benjamin, this - is the Army!

• Judy Benjamin : Excuse me, sir, is green the only color these come in?

• Sgt. L.C. Ross : Give me 10 pushups! Start knockin' 'em out!

  Judy Benjamin : Do you mind if I check into my room first?

  Sgt. L.C. Ross : Assume the position and hit it! Now!

• Col. Clay Thornbush : Your ass is going to Greenland for a reason. I won't let you shoot your mouth off, blemishing my record with innuendo.

  Judy Benjamin : Innuendo? Try rape.

• Judy Benjamin : If I knew you better, I'd show you my dog tags.

  Henri Tremont : How much better?

• Judy Benjamin : There are two bids we recommend: Sergio Devoto's Driving Academy which teaches evasive driving to the chauffeurs of such dignitaries as General Alexander Haig, President Giscard d'Estaing, Mick Jagger.

• Judy Benjamin : Definitely the most exciting duty a soldier could pull. My M.O.S. is Purchasing Specialist - the one job I've trained for all my life.

• Judy Benjamin : Greenland? What, penguins? Forget it!

• Henri Tremont : Do you know a lot of tortured artists?

  Judy Benjamin : Only tortured lawyers.

• Judy Benjamin : General Foley, Henri Tremont is not a Communist. He's a gynecologist.

• Judy Benjamin : You did Claire's *dishes*?