George Wendt credited as playing...
- Norm: It's a dog eat dog world, and I'm wearing Milkbone underwear.
- Norm: Morning, everybody!
- Woody: Beer, Mr. Peterson?
- Norm: Little early in the day isn't it, Woody?
- Woody: Little early for a beer?
- Norm: No, for stupid questions.
- Sam: What are you up to, Norm?
- Norm: My ideal weight... if I were 11 feet tall.
- Woody: Pour you a beer, Mr. Peterson?
- Norm: Alright, but stop me at one. Make that one-thirty.
- Norm: I wish I had time for a hobby.
- Cliff: Norm, you've got time to make your own coal.
- Everyone: NORM.
- Coach: What's new, Norm?
- Norm: I need something to hold me over until my second beer.
- Coach: How about a first beer?
- Norm: That'll work.
- Woody: Hey Mr. Peterson, there's a cold one waiting for you.
- Norm: I know. If she calls, I'm not here.
- Coach: How's life treating you Norm?
- Norm: Like I just ran over its dog.
- Sam: What'll you have Normie?
- Norm: Well, I'm in a gambling mood Sammy. I'll take a glass of whatever comes out of that tap.
- Sam: Looks like beer, Norm.
- Norm: Call me Mister Lucky.
- Norm: Women. You can't live with 'em. Pass the beernuts.
- Norm: I want something light and cold.
- Carla: Sorry, it's Diane's day off.
- Coach: How's life treating you Norm?
- Norm: Like it caught me in bed with its wife.
- Norm: Boy, I envy Sammy and his carefree lifestyle.
- Carla: Yeah.
- Norm: Night after night, he dates pretty girls, while I sit here and wrestle with the world's problems.
- Carla: You do not.
- Norm: What do you mean? Last night I let out a moan at the thought of nuclear war.
- Carla: It wasn't 'cuz of nuclear war, it's cuz we ran out of beer nuts.
- Norm: It was a combination of the two.
- Sam: Hey, Norm, can I get you a beer?
- Norm: Beer? Isn't that the amber-colored, carbonated liquid? I've heard good things about it.
- Cliff: If I wasn't wearing this uniform, I'd ask you to step outside.
- Norm: If you weren't wearing that uniform, we'd all step outside.
- Norm: [referring to Vera lunching with the wives of his bosses] She just didn't pass muster.
- Woody: Well maybe she couldn't reach it.
- Norm: [Frasier and Lilith are having an argument in Sam's office] Sammy, don't you think you should check on them? They've been in there for over an hour.
- Sam: Yeah, I guess so.
- [knocks on the door]
- Sam: Frasier, you guys all right?
- Frasier: [opening the door] A few more minutes, Sam. It's almost my turn to talk.
- Coach: Norm, how come you and Vera never had any kids?
- Norm: I can't, Coach.
- Coach: Gee, I'm sorry Norm.
- Norm: I look at Vera. I just can't.
- Norm: I have, on several occasions, been known to perspire a bit.
- Carla: We could grow rice.
- [Sam has made a baseball comeback]
- Norm: Boy oh boy. The thought of Sammy out there, chucking them down. What I wouldn't give to see that.
- Cliff: Norm, it's only a thirty-dollar train ride.
- Norm: Well, that's what I wouldn't give.
