Peter Ustinov credited as playing...
Hercule Poirot
- Mr. Flewitt's Secretary: Hercules Parrot, sir!
- Poirot: [entering the office] Poirot, Mademoiselle, pucker your lips as though about to bestow a kiss! Poi-rot.
- Christine Redfern: I'm better now. In fact, I'm determined to enjoy myself. It's so blissful here, so tranquil, so far from all violence and trouble.
- Poirot: Yes, you are right, Madame; the sky is blue, the sun is shining, and yet you forget that everywhere there is evil under the sun.
- Daphne Castle: I've just had a telephone call from your friend Sir Horace. He says he's having trouble with his... his... his piffle valve?
- Poirot: Such a valve still has to be invented, Madame.
- Daphne Castle: Oh, well I dare say you're right, I wasn't paying that much attention, anyway the result is he'll be 24 hours late.
- Poirot: The "Arlena Stewarts" of this world do not count; their domination is of the moment. Really to count, a woman must have either goodness or brains.
- Christine Redfern: You can't actually believe that men care for either of those things, can you?
- Poirot: Oh yes I do, madam.
- Patrick Redfern: It's funny to think if Giuseppe Verdi had been an Englishman his name would have been Joe Green.
- Poirot: [Thoughtfully] Yes, I suppose it would, yes.
- Patrick Redfern: Well it used to make the boys laugh when I was trying to din some Latin into them when I was a school teacher.
- Poirot: Little boys laugh easily if it keeps them away even for a moment from their study of Latin.
- Daphne Castle: [notices Poirot in lobby] Oh, you - you must be Sir Horace Blatt's friend; perhaps - perhaps you'll sign in?
- Poirot: [signs hotel register]
- Daphne Castle: Oh, so you're the famous Hercule Poirot eh?
- Poirot: Ah you are too amiable madame.
- Daphne Castle: [sternly] Perhaps - I hope you haven't come here to practice your sleuthing games on my guests - they've all got far too many skeletons in their cupboards to join in with enthusiasm.
- Poirot: [to the killer] You see, it is folly to try and trick Hercule Poirot... even in a dead language.
- [last lines]
- Daphne Castle: I've just had a phone call from His Majesty and he is very pleased with...
- Poirot: The king of Tyrania?
- Daphne Castle: He is very pleased with the matter being cleared up so quickly and so discreetly. He is so pleased he is awarding you the Order of Saint Gudrun the Inquisitive.
- Poirot: Saint Gudrun the Inquisitive?
- Daphne Castle: First class.
- Poirot: How many classes are there?
- [Poirot is interrogating the suspects]
- Kenneth Marshall: It's a little difficult to accept your condolences, Poirot... when in the same breath you accuse me of murdering my wife because she was unfaithful.
- Poirot: [matter of factly] I can understand that, of course.
- Daphne Castle: I bet it pongs something rotten in there.
- Poirot: Only of the breath of the sea.
- Daphne Castle: Oh, how poetic you are, Monsieur Poirot. You have the true soul of France.
- Poirot: The true soul of Belgium, Madame.
- Daphne Castle: Yes, of course. How mortifyingly stupid of me! Oh, do please forgive me.
- Poirot: In due course of time.
- Christine Redfern: [watching people sunbathing on the beach] How I wish I could do that, just lie in the sun.
- Poirot: Mais porquoi, madame? Look at them lying in rows, like corpses at the morgue! They are not men and women. Nothing personal about them. They're just bodies, butcher's meat, steaks grilling in the sun.
- Sir Horace Blatt: A couple of months back, I met a certain lady in New York. She told me she was so madly in love with me that she'd leave the show she was in. She was an actress, you know, and come back to England with me on the Queen Mary and marry me. So I bought her this stone from Tiffany's. Then halfway across the Atlantic, she changed her mind and run off with another man. Well, I wouldn't have minded so much, only she took the jewel with her! You see, that wasn't a fair do. You see, I had given her it in contemplation of marriage. And, frankly, $100,000 is a bit much to pay for three days' fumbling on the high seas.
- Poirot: Oh, monsieur, who can put a price on les affaires de coeur?
- Sir Horace Blatt: Well, I bloody can. And this was too high!
- Daphne Castle: Every week it's my custom to collect all my staff together, you know, to give them a collective boot up the bum. It does no end of good, particularly the I-ties. Keeps them up to snuff, as my old Papa used to say. Anyway, that meeting was this morning at 11:30, and just before it I came up here to have a wash and I poked my nose in here and I saw Kenneth hard at it, so I - I just didn't disturb him.
- Poirot: But, Madame, you cannot see the desk from the door.
- Sir Horace Blatt: In three days' time she'll be down at Daphne's place for a little holiday. I'll give her a little holiday!
- Poirot: Daphne's place?
- Sir Horace Blatt: Yes, you know, Daphne Castle. She was a mistress of the King of Tyrania for years, then when he upped and married the present queen he gave Daphne an old summer palace to keep her quiet. She's turned it into one of those exclusive la-di-da hotels where the nobs and nancies come to squawk at each other. I can't stand it meself, but she's good sort.
- Arlena Stuart Marshall: God's teeth!
- Kenneth Marshall: Don't worry, darling. It's only the noonday gun.
- Poirot: The noonday gun?
- Kenneth Marshall: Yes, it's fired every day at 12 o'clock to commemorate the glorious victory of Kosovo-Metohija in 1193. I'm reliably informed that a mere handful of Tyranian cavalry routed over 50,000 barbarous Bosnian fanatics. It was apparently the only military success of their entire history.
- Poirot: One success too many.
- Poirot: Mesdames, Mademoiselle, Messieurs - the reason I asked you to meet me here this morning - please, Monsieur - is that I, Hercule Poirot, have discovered the identity of the murderer of Madame Marshall. This need surprise no one. Are you all comfortable? Even the murderer?