Andrew Dice Clay: Vinny

Casual Sex?

Vinny

[While being measured at the health spa.]
Vinny: If you'd like me to provide you with some vital statistics that can't be measured in a public place, I'd be happy to do so.
Female Attendant: You mean your IQ?

Vinny: Hey, need a lift?
Stacy: Vinny! What are you doing here?
Vinny: I was just driving around the neighborhood. Last night I did something-- Look, it's like this. It's Christmas Day, I'm sitting around my house, right, I'm all alone... so, uh, I hop in the limo... 24 hours later, I wind up in Chicago. And I say to myself, Vincent, where the hell you going? That's when it hits me... I'm coming to see you.
Stacy: You drove all that way just to see me?
Vinny: Hey, only 4 days and, what, 18 speeding tickets.

Vinny: Y'know, I used to have it all figured out. It's like women changed when I had my back turned.

Melissa: Uh, this is one that the kids at school told me. Why did the chicken go halfway across the street?
Vinny: Why?
Melissa: He wanted to lay it on the line. --You're not laughing.
Vinny: Oh, not yet, not yet. Inside, it's building, it's building. About a half hour from now I'll be rolling all over the beach, I'm telling you. You won't be able to stop me. I'll be in hysterics.

Stacy: [reading] "Dear Stacy, I hope you don't mind me writing to you, but the only other letter I ever wrote was to the editor of Flex magazine, and that was just to say how much I enjoyed this particular article called - "
Vinny: "Hammer Those Gluts 'Til Your Butt's Like a Bowling Ball."

[After reading the "Pretend You're Sensitive Handbook".]
Vinny: Stacy, how nice to see you. Do you have a few minutes? I mean, it occurred to me, I don't even know where you work.
Stacy: Where I work?
Vinny: Yeah, you know, your career plans, your dreams, your aspirations... I really want to hear all about them.
Stacy: What I want? I don't even know -- ask me what anyone else wants. Give me three seconds, I'll figure out your whole entire life.
Vinny: Would you maybe want to share something with me about your childhood, perhaps?
Stacy: Vinny, what the hell are you talking about? I'm in a big rush. Look, I have to go talk to Melissa, because if I don't figure out something about my life soon, I'm going to crack!
Vinny: I respect your strength, Stacy, and I think you've got a lot of potential!

Melissa: You know, Matthew's a psychologist. I just love therapy. I think everyone should be in therapy.
Matthew: That would be good for me. Actually, I'm here to do reseach for a book I'm writing, on the psycho-sexual tendencies of pre-menopausal females.
Vinny: Yeah, me too.