Dark Mission: Evil Flowers

Spanish exploitation vet Jess Franco directed this tiresome action thriller about American secret agent searching for big time cocaine dealers in Cuba (or something). The film is an example for the Americanization of European B-cinema that started in the 80's - Dark Mission looks like an American TV movie and nothing else. There's nothing here that reminds of whatever talents Jess Franco once had. Even French actress Brigitte Lahaie looks surprisingly bad in this awful, uninspired yawnfest.

Prolific sleaze merchant Jess Franco's sorry excuse for a message movie has plenty of unintentional hilarity for dedicated bad-movie fans. Atrociously acted, hopelessly amateurish action scenes, horrendous dialogue and one of the worst music scores ever make for a truly strange film experience. Christopher Lee and Brigitte Lahaie try to lift the film, but is let down by the stupid script and Franco's clumsy direction.

1/10

Chris Mitchum of Santa's summer house fame is a CIA operative that all the chicks in the movie thinks he's hot and either try to or end up banging him.. Christopher Lee is again channeling his fu Manchu to play the Cuban drug lord with a thick British accent! There's bad dialogue, goofy fights , explosions and a Reagan era anti drug message that would put saved by the bell to shame. But Chris Mitchum delivers his lines like he's getting paid in socks and underwear but if you love pre cgi b movies definitely check this one out on par with Terror in Beverly Hills American hunter Any jelel merhi film.

"Dark Mission: Flowers of Evil" is a film which stars Robert Mitchum's son, Chris. While Chris never exactly became a movie star, he did manage to make a few movies...mostly in supporting roles. But here in this film, he has a chance to show whether he's leading man material. Judging by the scores of his films over the past couple decades, I would say he isn't exactly big star material.

In this story, Chris plays a guy who tells everyone he's a reporter who has arrived in Columbia to do a story about addiction and the drug trade. However, everyone seems to think he's either a gangster or a government agent. And, no matter where he goes, women just throw themselves at him.

One of these women just happens to be the daughter of a huge drug kingpin (Christopher Lee) and Chris isn't sure if she knows her father's business...especially since she was sent to the States for an education.

So is this film any good? Not especially. It's incredibly low energy and the film manages to do very little with its location shooting in Spain and Portugal. I blame the director for much of this. While I wouldn't say the movie is terrible...it's close.

Nothing says cult more than a film directed by Jess Franco starring Christopher Lee, Chris Mitchum, Brigette Lahaie and Richard Harrison. Only Jess Franco could mess up an all-star cast like that. CIA agent Derrick Carpenter (Mitchum) heads to an unnamed Latin American country to take on big time drug dealer and former Castro buddy Luis Morel (Lee). Along the way, he unwittingly falls in love with Morel's naive daughter (Cristina Higueras) and keeps running into the wife (Lahaie) of his recently killed partner. All this mixes to create a movie that isn't too exciting.

Richard Harrison does his one minute at the beginning and 2 minutes at the end bit. He gets the best line though at the beginning. He is the head of the CIA and says to Mitchum's character, "I don't like you. You are a drunk and a womanizer. But we need you. You are the only one here who knows Spanish." There are a other few funny bits like when Mitchum and his girl head to a hospital to check out drug addicts. They wheel one body past the girl and she says, "Oh God! It is my best friend Maria!" (a character never mentioned before this point). Perhaps the funniest bit is a dinner scene that Franco decided to do with synch sound. No problem there except someone locked some dogs in adjacent room and they bark at all the wrong (right) moments. Hilarious. There is one big action scene at the end (relying heavily on stock footage) and it appears to have been edited by a blind man. But at least we get to see Christopher Lee get blow'd up (that should make Peter Jackson happy).