Tim Daly credited as playing...
Joe Montgomery Hackett
- Helen: You care more about this *stupid* plane than you do about me!
- Joe Hackett: Me? You're the one with the cello between her legs eight hours a day!
- Helen: Well, at least that gives me some satisfaction!
- Joe Hackett: Yeah, well, at least when I'm in the plane I get some sense of movement!
- Joe Hackett: Lowell, where you going?
- Lowell Mather: Oh, to clear my mind.
- Roy Biggins: Shouldn't take long. One good sneeze ought to do it.
- Joe Hackett: What have we got that's worth fifteen thousand dollars?
- Brian Hackett: You are sitting on it.
- Joe Hackett: I am NOT going in that line of work.
- Brian Hackett: I'm talking about taking out a mortgage on the house, and DON'T flatter yourself.
- [trying to intimidate Fay's mystery admirer]
- Joe Hackett: I shot a man in Reno just to watch him die.
- Brian Hackett: [after a suggestion is made to make s'mores] No, I hate s'mores!
- Joe: How could you hate s'mores?
- Brian Hackett: Because that's the stupidest name for a food, like "It's so good, I want s-more," Those are so stupid, they should be called stupids!
- [describing Helen and Lowell's date]
- Helen: ...then he kissed my hand.
- Brian Hackett: Where was your hand?
- Joe Hackett: Hello!
- Antonio: [after Joe's Anxiety attack, Antonio walks in Joe's office to make sure he's alright. He finds him holding a squeezable doll in his hand] What's with the Dolly?
- Joe Hackett: The Doctor gave it to me. I'm supposed to squeeze "Mr. Googi" whenever I feel I might pinch over again.
- Antonio: So there's nothing physically wrong with you
- [then adds in a sarcastic subtle tone]
- Antonio: You're just a nut case.
- Joe Hackett: [In an angry provoked tone] Look I'm not...
- Helen: Calm Down honey, no body thinks you're crazy. Just squeeze Mr. Googi & visualize your happy place
- [after a two second pause]
- Helen: Don't get confused again and squeeze your happy place and visualize Mr. Googi!