The Stuff (1985)

Michael Moriarty: David

Photos 

Quotes 

• Evans : I don't think you're quite as dumb as you appear to be.

  David 'Mo' Rutherford : No one is as dumb as I appear to be.

• Jason : I just ate shaving cream!

  David 'Mo' Rutherford : Well, everybody has to eat shaving cream once in a while.

• David 'Mo' Rutherford : Are you eating it or is it eating you?

• David 'Mo' Rutherford : You're Chocolate Chip Charlie!

  'Chocolate Chip' Charlie W. Hobbs : Well, I sure as hell ain't the Kentucky Colonel!

• David 'Mo' Rutherford : The name's Mo Rutherford. They call me that 'cause when people give me money, I always want mo'.

• Jason : 'Scuse me, sir, I kinda just threw up in your car.

  David 'Mo' Rutherford : I know!

  Jason : I'm sorry!

  David 'Mo' Rutherford : That's all right.

  Jason : I just ate shaving cream!

  David 'Mo' Rutherford : Everybody has to eat shaving cream once in a while

• [pursuing escaping Stuff] 

  'Chocolate Chip' Charlie W. Hobbs : You are not thinkin' about goin' after it!

  David 'Mo' Rutherford : I hope you got a gun on you, Charlie!

  'Chocolate Chip' Charlie W. Hobbs : How many times am I supposed to tell you my hands are lethal weapons?

  David 'Mo' Rutherford : I hope you're right, 'cause if that thing tries to kill me, you kill me first!

• David 'Mo' Rutherford : That's a sweaty palm. That's two sweaty palms. Let me feel you. Ah, that's another sweaty palm. Yes sir, hello sweaty palms.

• David 'Mo' Rutherford : Did you find anything out?

  'Chocolate Chip' Charlie W. Hobbs : What you gonna find out, man, in a town that has just dried up and blown away, man? Must be a side effect of eatin' too much dessert. An urge to migrate.

• Fletcher : Let go of it, Mr. Rutherford. You can't stop it.

  David 'Mo' Rutherford : I can shut you down.

  Fletcher : [laughs]  I don't know. I really don't know. I don't think anybody'd pay too much attention to a disreputable guy like you. You're a rogue; you're a crook in the pay of the ice cream companies just out trying to screw the competition.

  David 'Mo' Rutherford : I could always kill you.

• David 'Mo' Rutherford : Okay, lethal hands, kill the door.

  'Chocolate Chip' Charlie W. Hobbs : Watch out for splinters.

• David 'Mo' Rutherford : There nobody here but you?

  Gas Attendant : Well, don't you wanna wash your hands or somethin'? I put in a new towel!

• 'Chocolate Chip' Charlie W. Hobbs : The only thing Chocolate Chip Charlie knows better than fighting is running.

  David 'Mo' Rutherford : Pick a direction!

• [discussing the Stuff-possessed postman] 

  David 'Mo' Rutherford : What do you think, Charlie?

  'Chocolate Chip' Charlie W. Hobbs : The man is not in proper operating order.

  David 'Mo' Rutherford : Absolutely.

  'Chocolate Chip' Charlie W. Hobbs : I'd like to take him someplace and get him X-rayed.

  David 'Mo' Rutherford : Yeah, but what if he doesn't wanna come along with us?

  'Chocolate Chip' Charlie W. Hobbs : We snatch 'im.

  David 'Mo' Rutherford : Oh, now, Charlie, I run a high-tech operation. I don't go in for things like that.

  'Chocolate Chip' Charlie W. Hobbs : I got a few low-tech solutions for our problem. We hit that sucker over the head.

  David 'Mo' Rutherford : Oh, well, ummm... we could do that.

  'Chocolate Chip' Charlie W. Hobbs : We throw him in the trunk of the car.

  David 'Mo' Rutherford : We could do that, too.

  'Chocolate Chip' Charlie W. Hobbs : And we take off.

  David 'Mo' Rutherford : In whose car?

• David 'Mo' Rutherford : I don't have to eat The Stuff though, do I? I really would like to leave that to the Stuffies.

• State Trooper : Your hose is hanging out back there.

  David 'Mo' Rutherford : Uh, are you gonna arrest me for indecent exposure?

• Col. Malcolm Grommett Spears : Who are you?

  David 'Mo' Rutherford : Well, I once worked for a man named Hoover, and uh, he once ordered me to put some taps on an apartment that you rented for uh, a 17-year-old black chick. And I wish I'd brought along the tapes, because I could prove to you that I really am who I am.

  Col. Malcolm Grommett Spears : You're not with the Bureau anymore?

  David 'Mo' Rutherford : Oh no no no no, they canned me, uh, just before they mailed those tapes to your wife.

  Col. Malcolm Grommett Spears : I could toss you off this tower. You'd land right about there.

• David 'Mo' Rutherford : Come over here boy, come on, move! You think you, with those guns in your hands, you think you can shoot anything you don't like? Well what if what you don't like is INSIDE you? How you gonna shoot it?

• David 'Mo' Rutherford : If you have this product in your home, cook it! I repeat! Cook it!

• David 'Mo' Rutherford : My limousine is right outside.

  Nicole : So is mine.

  David 'Mo' Rutherford : I'll bet mine is bigger than yours.

• 'Chocolate Chip' Charlie W. Hobbs : I just knocked a hole in that sucker!

  David 'Mo' Rutherford : Get in the boat!

• David 'Mo' Rutherford : Hey honey, you got a cup of coffee for me? You're a pretty thing, look at her, isn't she pretty? You know, every time I feel like eating, I think about that guy with the mouth, you know...

  [imitates a wide mouth going 'ahh ahh'] 

  David 'Mo' Rutherford : It turns me right off my stomach.

• David 'Mo' Rutherford : Boy, they sure do have a lot of energy!

• David 'Mo' Rutherford : Colonel, I think you're moving in on my lady.

  Col. Malcolm Grommett Spears : Oh I wouldn't worry about that, son. You'll probably be a casualty.