User reviews

When I first saw the trailer for 'Miami Connection," my mind was literally blown. I knew the 1980s was a wasteland of Troma garbage and horrible B films, but this film had something more than your run of the mill awfulness. It was epic. It was beautiful. It was bad 80s pop music, complete with bad feel good lyrics you might see in some TV show, the kind of song a writer comes up with on the spot because that's what they think the "youth" music sounds like. Never mind the bad acting, editing, and overall quality of the film transfer--that was something I was expecting. What I wasn't expecting was the bad after school special side- plots, the rampant homo eroticism, the most bizarre and random gang of thugs ever assembled and the sheer 80s-ness of the film. What I really loved was the over acting by the extras in the film. They must have known that they would never get another chance to be in a film, so they hammed it up for all to see.

Now I will remind you, if you aren't into watching films that are bad enough to make Mystery Science Theater 3000, then you surely will not get the sheer awesomeness of this awful movie. If you like straight comedy or action films, then I suggest you stay away and save your money. As for the rest of us, enjoy.

An incredibly awful movie, but it's awful in the best way possible. Holy cow, do they get everything just perfectly wrong here. The nonsensical plot is as follows: a rock band made up of taekwondo experts (led by director Y.K. Kim) crosses a gang of coke-dealing biker-ninjas ("bikers by day, ninjas by night," as the intro song informs us) and has to fend for their lives. The acting is hilariously bad - one guy clearly keeps turning to read cue cards, for instance. The editing frequently cuts far too soon or lingers on far too long. The glorious 80s music I have already mentioned. There's also a song about how awesome friendship is (the five heroes all live in a house together, go to college together, play in a band and practice taekwondo - which they pronounce tayKWONdo - together) and a song about dancing ninjas. Most of the actors are actually martial artists, but the choreography is stilted (people pause awkwardly with swords to wait to get kicked in the face), and the film goes into slow motion for no reason. It's all very laughable and it moves quickly, which makes it quite watchable. This can be watched on Netflix - nay, must be watched on Netflix.

I was attending the school in central Florida where it was filmed at the time so I'm one of the few people who actually saw this movie in a theater when it came out. Such fond memories -- a friend and I still quote this movie to each other. Dialog, acting, plot, fight scenes, direction; all uniformly bad. The audience was laughing so hard at some points that we couldn't hear the dialog; even during a touching scene where one character was tearfully describing how he became estranged from his father (Y. K. Kim's classic response was one we still quote: "I did not know... you had a father.").

I feel a little guilty for slamming the movie here; by all accounts, Y. K. Kim is a decent and charitable guy. He just has no business making movies.

I doubt this movie is that available, but is probably worth a viewing for pure camp value, with a group of drunk friends.

It doesn't take long into watching "Miami Connection" to come up with a sizeable list of various kinds of ineptness to be found in it. But I want to start off by listing a few positive things about the movie. It is well photographed and lit, including the night sequences. Plus, the themes of friendship and loyalty found in the movie are commendable. And I can't say that the movie is *boring*. But more often than not, the movie gets away from being boring by being amusingly inept. The acting is incredibly bad; it's easy to see that none of the cast is a professional actor. The fight sequences are awkward. The songs are awful, but catchy enough that you won't be able to get them out of your head. And don't let me get started on the motorcycle ninjas! Is this a classic so bad that it's good movie? In my opinion, no - it isn't *quite* that aggressive in its badness. But with modern so bad that they're good movies being nearly impossible to find these days, this is adequate enough to feed your appetite for cinematic silliness.

I don't see how this movie has more than a 3 star rating.

Th acting is worse than an elementary school play. The dialogue is mind numbingly stupid. The fight scenes are painful.

I guess it's one of those cult "so bad it's good" type movies.

Absolutely terrible!

2/10

Okay let's get something outa the way right here and now. This film critically... sucks. Hell it does more than merely suck. It's shoddy, the acting is woeful, the plot is nonsensical and it has a hilariously bad subplot involving one band member's quest to find his father. The soundtrack is dire. So, for those of you who expect some form of quality in their cinema, then I recommend The Exorcist or if you don't like horror, then I dunno. The Lives of Others maybe. I haven't seen it but lots of critics really seem to like it so knock yourselves out. However... for those of you who are less discerning... well.

Every so often a film transcends its mere badness via its sheer unintentional hilarity. It becomes a different beast entirely and strays from the realm of crap to the magical plane of craptastic. Some have boldy come before it such as Mad Foxes, Raw Force, White Fire and Gymkata, leaving trash fans with their jaws slightly agape afterward and also pretty big shoes to fill. These films are passed along via word of mouth, so a select few people- those who are willing to overlook such niceties as "quality" and "technical prowess", or "pleasing cinematography"- can appreciate their crappy goodness and for you select fans who know what I'm talking about then have no fear... The Miami Connection is one of those films. And any fan of tacky 80s crap will thank me for this recommendation, trust me on this.

Oh yeah the plot. I dunno, a really bad syntho pop group go up against a drug cartel for some reason. I was too busy laughing to pay close attention.

Anyway, a strong solid 7/10 on the craptastic level, a perfect beer or whatevs flick or just a great flick to cheer you up if you're having a crappy day.

But critically, it's really really bad.

Ummmm…. wow. I just don't know what to say about this. So much so, that I am not using a quote from the movie for the review title as I normally do. OK, here goes. Miami Connection is a strange… VERY STRANGE cheesy 1980's movie with, martial arts, a 1980's rock boy band, ninjas, and guys hanging out. If that sounds like it works together, CONGRATULATIONS! You are wrong. Despite the fact this film is just awful…… I can't make myself look away(Just like a train wreck.) Bizarre gore, nonsensical plot, unnecessarily shirtless guys, bad rock songs, a limp romance, a forced long lost father subplot, awkward bromance, disembodied voices, inept fight scenes, horrible acting. What a hilarious mess.

Anyways, the plot. What plot? _ XD _ Seriously though, a taekwondo rock band irritates the former band for their club and it escalates from there to them being targeted by a gang of drug dealing ninjas. It would just get dumber if I fleshed out the little story there is any more than that.

So, to sum Miami Connection up, if you enjoy cheesy Z or B movie train wrecks, check it out and prepare for a good laugh, you will not be disappointed. For everyone else, you have been forewarned.

Miami Connection is the perfect storm of ugly people, bad acting, stupid dialogue, horrendous action sequences, and bargain basement special effects. I wasn't sure who to root for: the evil drug lord and his retarded henchmen who are painfully clueless and inept at the simple things like being threatening on any level - or the gangster ninjas who show up and steal drugs and money from the drug lord and easily demolish the loser henchmen - or the "heroes" of the flick, the awesomely awful and culturally diverse synth rock band the Dragon Sounds who I just wanted to watch get sawed in half a la the Scarface "shower scene."

Best lines include: "they don't make buns like that down at the bakery" and "my mother was Korean and my father was Black American"

God I love this movie, it has everything a true cinephile could ever dream for. Enjoy.

(51%) A crazy, 80's to the limit, Warriors/Streets of fire/biker movie/Godfry Ho style mess, filled with awful writing and laughable performers from actors that really should never feature in front of camera with more than one line each. On a plus side some of the action sequences are quite good, and the direction does draw out some nice shots from time to time, plus it's very simple fun. Anyone with any affection for 80's cheese that can see past the quite major problems (acting/writing/editing/quite terrible rock music sequences) will likely enjoy at least some of what this has to offer, while others should stay away.

"So bad, it's good" with its overly-complicated/difficult-to-follow plot, nonsensical cutaways & scene breaks, uninterrupted song performance breaks, and laughable fight sequences (that every now & again work surprisingly well).

This has to be one of the best bad movies ever made. My friend found the cover for this movie online and we just had to see it. Wow, nothing will prepare you for all the cheesy 80's awesomeness, the genuine confusion, and incredible quotes(Oh my God!). Why are the bad guys trying to kill these guys? I forgot half way through the movie, something about ninjas and cocaine I think. They're in a band, really? A ninja band!? Well technically it's Tae Kwon Do, but who cares. Those songs will stick with you the rest of your life, they're not half bad either, super catchy with ridiculous lyrics.

Y.K. Kim, God bless you. You are a stand up guy in real life, an ambassador for martial arts, an enthusiastic American immigrant, and have created something that encapsulates the absurdity that is the 1980's. This movie has to be seen by lovers of camp everywhere. No joke, it will change your life.

Well, the RIFFTRAX versions of this movie are hilarious!

Now I know what you're all thinking. No, despite what the title may suggest, Miami Connection not a rip off of the French Connection. It's much, much crazier. You see, this movie tells the timeless (read, only in the 80's) tale of a martial arts rock band battling a gang of motorcycle ninjas who are taking over Miami's narcotics trade. That story. Think Chinese Connection meets Scarface and maybe a Chuck Norris movie, with lots of bad original music.

The stars of this show are Dragon Sound, the aforementioned rock and roll band. In addition to being in a band together, they also attend the same college, teach at the same dojo, share the same apartment, and just happen to all be orphans. They're practically brothers! Hence the frequent lectures about the importance of brotherhood and friendship. Honestly, I wouldn't be surprised if most of them were actual college buddies who signed up for the movie together, since none of them can act and only one of them can do martial arts particularly well.

Not that the other characters are much better. The ninjas and their leader are threatening enough, but few of them can act either. You'll also notice pretty quick that everyone in this movie talks like an awkward teenager or a douchebag frat bro. Which many of them probably are, given that much of this movie is shot around the University of Central Florida. Yes, aside from a few beach scenes, none of this movie was shot anywhere near Miami. It's actually the Orlando connection.

Now you've probably already guessed this, but none of the plot makes sense. For instance, the band introduces their new "hit" song, Against the Ninja, before they've fought or even met any ninjas. And even though the bad guys are killing people and dealing drugs all across town, most of the conflict is over who the villain's sister is dating and which band got the weekend gig at the local club. The guys in Dragon Sound honestly don't seem to be aware that the ninjas are killing off all the other drug gangs.

Perhaps it's understandable that the plot would be minimal, since most of it is just an excuse for martial arts fights and rock numbers. Only the fights are nuts, and the music sucks. By nuts, I mean the fights are a mix of fairly competent martial arts and random flailing, interspersed with some of the most over the top screaming and bizarre facial expressions you've ever seen. Most of them involve all of the good guys fighting a whole mob of ninjas or random thugs, so the director frequently loses control of the action, until everything degenerates into a giant free form brawl. Add in some massive spurts of the fakest blood possible, and it's just hilariously insane..

There's nothing glorious about the music though. It's just the most awful, watered down hair metal you can imagine. You can't even understand half the words. Winger rocked harder and had better lyrics than these guys. But hey, it adds to the overall goofiness and fits pretty well with the rest of the movie. This whole thing is just such an insane, hilarious mess, from the ridiculously violent opening scene to the jaw dropping end tital card. It's a bad movie in every respect, but it's a very fun bad movie. Be sure to check out the Rifftrax version.

Miami Connection (1987)

* 1/2 (out of 4)

Some college kids from Central Florida not only play in a rock band but they're also masters at martial arts. Good thing for them because one of the members begins dating a girl whose brother just happens to be the leader of a violent motorcycle gang involved in all sorts of illegal activities.

It's strange how movies are usually forgotten only to later be rediscovered for some reason. The history of Miami CONNECTION is pretty fascinating as it pretty much died as soon as it was released and no one even knew about it outside the filmmakers and cast. Twenty-two years later a programmer for the Alamo Drafthouse ended up buying a copy of the film on eBay for $50 and soon he was booking it and out of nowhere a large cult following started. Today, Miami CONNECTIOn has a rather large cult following and it even got a special edition released to DVD and Blu-ray.

So, why do so many awful movies get forgotten and others ones like this end up with a cult following? My only guess is that some movies reach the "so bad they're good" level because the filmmakers went into the project not thinking they were making a low-budget bad movies but instead they go in thinking they're making the next CITIZEN KANE. I'm sure they believe that everything from the acting to the directing to the screenplay is just something special when it fact it's all very, very bad. This film is certainly awful on just about every level from the performances to the incredibly awful rock soundtrack but thankfully there are some moments that are so awful that you can't help but laugh.

There are many highlights (or lowlights depends on how you see it) here including some stereotypes that are just so cringe-worthy that you can't help but laugh. The rock band has different ethnic members but the Asian and black guys are so laughable that you can't help but wonder what they were thinking. The subplot dealing with the black guy not knowing who is father is is just priceless. Another highlight is the over-the-top violence including a "death" scenes towards the end, which has to be one of the funniest ever filmed. I'm not going to ruin what major character it happens to but I dare anyone watch it and not laugh.

Miami CONNECTION is an awful movie, there's no question about it but thankfully there are enough bad moments to make it worth viewing if you're a fan of this type of thing.

I had the suspicion that the lead actor YK Kim, who also directed the film (uncredited) and basically backed the making of the film, wasn't a professional in the movie industry, and I was right. He was a Tae-kwon-do instructor, apparently (according to here on IMDb) very popular in Orlando (though the movie is shot there and Miami) and there's even a point in the middle of this movie where everything just stops - whatever there was in the story that one could follow, if barely - and we see a demonstration of his skills. And I don't mean in a fight, I mean with him and John, played by Vincent Hirsch, demonstrating their skills in like practice mode. Not that there still isn't some requisite slow-motion cinematography of course, and (as if anticipating Zack Snyder by 20 years) sometimes going into slow-motion just briefly in a shot, and then going back to regular speed. Because you got to see that foot grab on to a dude's nose!

Miami Connection is some silly stuff, but done in the 1980's, and the movie never lets you forget it. Despite Kim most likely being more into the fights than the actual filming or acting, he did know to get some production designers and just, you know, people off the streets from Florida at the time to get that 80's FEEL. The hair is there, the clothes, the music... good lord the music. There's a moment when one of the bands is playing on stage - not the 'friendship' one, the 'Against the Ninja' song with the girl singing, and I swear if you look around the room it's not smoke going up around the air, it's cocaine. It's somehow made the room smoky.

There is a plot involving coke deals, and rock-n-roll ninjas, and bikers at some point, and other ninjas who looks like a lift from every other ninja movie ever made (with the fleet of black-suited ninjas with the white-suited master - because, you know, camoflauge), and characters who you kind of see some relationship going on, and then the one black guy will get a letter and pour out a monologue about his parental troubles and... plot? Perhaps it's so simple but it goes to show that the filmmaking muddies it all up. Far as I can gather is this: the motorcycle ninjas are the bad guys, smuggling in drugs, and the rock band Dragon Sound (haha) is tired of it, and their master (played by Kim) is going to take it to them and stop what they're doing for good.

The French Connection this certainly is not. And if you're by chance going into it thinking it'll be any good, you will be mistaken; this 7/10 rating is in large part due to the guilty pleasure factor. Actually, that's not true in that I don't feel much guilt in laughing about this movie, and staring at times in slack-jawed disbelief at the ineptitude of things like audio dubbing of lines (it's so bad it makes The Room look professional), and the moments when in the fights (and those make up most of the running time) things just get ridiculous. Watch when any time super-violence gets into the mix, anything to do with blood and gore, and the filmmakers don't skimp on that, not in the least.

But why it's so pleasurable is that there's a kind of innocence to the whole enterprise. This Tae-kwon do master just wanted to expand his horizons and try something different, and somehow with his collaborators - most of them as inept as he at making movies, but passionate about martial arts and, you know, all things 80's and wussy rock & roll (seriously, these songs, the Ninja Turtles do a better job in Coming out of Our Shells). It's bad, but you don't feel bad watching it, and with a bunch of friends at home, or with the right crowd in a theater, I'm sure it's a blast. Oh, and watch for any LONG montages, including one on a beach where they're just driving along, and they cut to a shot of a couple supposedly meant to be still on the beach... after the tide's come in!

Rocker Karate Guys vs Biker Ninjas. Does this really need elaboration?

I rate this as 3 stars out of 10 because it's has the feel of something written and acted by a bunch of amateurs who wanted to star in a movie about themselves and their friends.

But I have to admit: there's an earnestness and a positive message throughout the movie that makes "Miami Connection" quite likable...in a silly and half-baked way. And while the movie wastes a lot of time in pointless cul-de-sac scenes with the band members hanging out (and one member in a "missing father" subplot that would make Godfrey Ho scratch his head) , the energy level is usually pretty high.

The performances and songs are hilariously 80s anthem/Cheese Whiz that will stick to all the crevices in your brain and gum up your mental works. Apparently, being "Against the Ninja" is a "thing", did you know that? (Or was it "Kill The Ninja"? I couldn't tell. But the singer sure was Celine-Dion-level serious about it!)

Worth seeing once if you are a fan of directors such as Andy Sedaris.

Loyalty. Honesty. We'll stay together through thick or thin. Friends forever, we'll be together. We're on top 'cause we play to win.

The words reverberate through your thoughts, challenging the underlying foundation of your modern day belief system, and make you question existence itself.

Welcome to "Miami Connection".

The films producer, and leading role, YK Kim, was a savvy entrepreneur who enjoyed success in Central Florida in the 80's teaching martial arts. He wrote and co-directed this film on his own dime, and this masterpiece is a shining example of what can be achieved when one knows Tae Kwon Do and is ready for a good time.

It's no secret that 1980's Florida was a haven for cocaine drug trafficking. Hollywood attempted to glorify it with TV shows like Miami Vice, and with films like Scarface. But nothing captures this moment in time and raises a huge independent middle finger to the powers that be in Hollywood like "Miami Connection".

While scholars will argue the misdirection created by the films title, let's once and for all set the tone and clear the air. Bad guys: Miami - Good Guys: Orlando.

It was true then, and it's still true to this day.

To truly understand the gravity this film creates, first one must fully understand the essence of it's main characters.

Dragon Sound is one jam-tastic rock band whose instruments don't match the synthesizer-laden sounds they make (who cares because the 80's were confusing) and throw it down frequently at Central Florida's hottest night club. (at the time I think it is called The Edge, or maybe JJ Whispers). And the bad guys are super upset because the owner of the night club is letting Dragon Sound play instead of their band. Within a few moments of hearing Dragon Sound play, its evidently clear as to why they have been supplanted. Disrupting the bad guys drug trade, as well as everything else is an afterthought. Herein lies the beauty of this masterpiece.

If you are familiar with Orlando, this film will resonate eternal. Church Street, middle of the night, gang fight involving poured beer, taunts, convertibles, and action that gets spilled over onto Magnolia. "That Son of a B! Right There!" Who knew that in the 80's, the owner of Station 441 was a bad dude Korean that wore a Mickey Mouse apron and beat down punks who tried to skip out on their bill? All that's missing is Mama B's!

Its all about a regional bearded crime boss named Jeff, and fingerless gloves, mullets, biker gangs paid in beer, slow motion Bruce Lee sequences , cocaine, shirtless Tae Kwon Do rock bands, tough guys, making dreams come true, aviator shades, borderline racist daddy issues, grape feeding, asking what you have in the bank, "Against the Ninjas" ala Pat Benatar, uninhibited butchering of the English language, Mid-rif t-shirts and Sport Coats, the University of Central Florida, and ninjas on motorcycles blocking your route to the airport.

The musical score really stands out in this movie. One cant help but love the dark wave 80's synthesizers playing out in the train scene.

YK Kim is the 1980's version of Leonardo Da Vinci. "Masterpiece" is a term that barely scrapes the surface. The International Programming Contest results are in! We made fourth place. MAKE SOME NOISE!!!

If you are young, old, male, female, doesn't matter. Stop everything going on in your life. Put it all on pause and prepare yourself for the life changing experience you are about to embark upon...

Miami CONNECTION

'Miami Connection' is an odd movie. It has a laundry list of inadequacies. The acting is lackluster, the dialogue is a mess, the fight choreography is often awkward, and there are no shortage of scenes that seem to serve no purpose. It is bad.

At the same, I didn't walk away from this movie with the same feeling I have had with other supposed "so bad it's good" films. When you watch something like 'Samurai Cop', you are constantly laughing at the movie. In 'Miami Connection', I couldn't help but feel I was, at times, laughing with it. Maybe it was because it seemed like the actors were having fun in a self-aware manner. Maybe it was the ludicrous plot. Maybe it was the music scenes. Maybe it was the over-the-top friends forever sentiment. Whatever it was, it worked for me.

I think its this mix of laughable badness and heart-warming playfulness that makes this such a great bad movie. Sometimes it is pretty good, usually, it is awful. But it is always entertaining. I can't recommend it enough.

A martial arts rock band goes up against a band of motorcycle ninjas who have tightened their grip on Florida's narcotics trade.

I think that plot summary more or less says it all. As another reviewer noted, from a critical standpoint this is not a good movie (and hardly deserves my 7 rating). But from the point of view of someone who loves 80s cheese, this is a forgotten gem for sure.

Can you beat a group of misfits who like to rock out, with one looking like Freddie Mercury? The songs are not good, but actually not all that bad, either... if you like 80s action films like "Commando" or "Cobra", this might be right up your alley.

This surely was a not-good movie! The acting was...not good. Neither was the music. The plot joined acting and music in being not at all good.

OK, think positive, Panzerman, isn't there anything nice you can think of? Hmm... Well... there was a fight-scene or two that almost held some symbolic standards.

Oh, and let's not forget this quote: "Tae-kwon-do is the best!" spoken in absurdly poor English!

OK, since I have to have at least 10 lines to be able to post this, let's get back to the acting. Either every line was delivered with absolutely no emotion whatsoever or with way too much. The Hollywood School of Overacting rides again? No. Probably not. I would be VERY surprised if any of the "actors" involved had had any schooling whatsoever.

And what's that with the apparently real bikers having a party?