"This isn't a hockey game, it's a circus." - Coach Gordon Bombay, D2: The Mighty Ducks.
Rarely does a movie character sum up his movie so well. D2: The Mighty Ducks is a circus; a cacophony of conflicts, dopey characters, fighting, eccentricities, miscommunications, clichés, and inpenetrable goofiness. Here's a movie sequel that continues to beat a dead horse into the ground by offering the public a sequel to a Disney movie that can only be liked by reciting the word "nostalgia" or "nostalgic." At this point, it isn't that The Mighty Ducks films are bad movies in the usual sense, but it's that they are so unambitious, uninspired, and bland that it makes it hard to accept them as "take it for what it is" entertainment and harder to like them on the typical "good movie" level. Emilio Estevez, still portraying the greatly motivated man driven on the idea of success, reprises his role as Gordon Bombay, who the opening credits show us has gone on to be a minor league hockey player being seriously considered for his first NHL appearance until he injured during a breakneck game.
Now, Bombay's chances are done and he talks to a close friend about making money, until opportunity knocks when the idea of him coaching Team U.S.A.'s hockey team in the Junior Goodwill Games is proposed. Bombay quickly signs a suit's contract, bands the Ducks together again, and they quickly rustle up the skills and the motivation to win at this year's event and show audiences that Ducks stick together.
Need I go further? Should I mention that the kids are now teenagers, yet are still as brazen and as goofy as they were in the first film? Should I go on to mention that Bombay becomes too consumed with coaching a more honored and admired team, and lets all the pressure gets to his head to the point where he is scolding and yelling at his players? Ned I mention that this newfound consumption on Bombay's part has greatly upset a number of players, fueling Ducks-heckler Russ Tyler (Kenan Thompson) to aggravate the players? And do I even need to mention that in the third act the Ducks will discover Tyler's surefire knucklepuck and graciously adopt him to the team? One can also make note of the never-ending barrage of one-liners the film haphazardly includes in order to sound hip, motivating, and high-spirited. When one of the only girl players is called a "lady," she forcefully replies, "I'm no lady, I'm a duck!" And when the Ducks face their opponents from Iceland, the crowd chants, "We will, we will quack you!" in attempt to see how much the audience can cringe in a small period of time.
This is kids sports movie-making 101, although it's not harmful as much as it is non-beneficial to any of its viewers. It provides sweet, genial escapist delight and I believe that's what a number of Disney-movie fans seek, which in that case, renders D2: The Mighty Ducks a success according to them. To me, the film is overly long and winded, still far to content with capitalizing on the surprise success of its predecessor, is chock full of clichés, and anchored by its dull characters and formulaic premises. I guess you can also say I'm getting tired of hearing "We are the Champions" at the end of the picture further capitalizing on "the in-game spirit." At least the film knows one thing and that's how to properly utilize Estevez.
Starring: Emilio Estevez, Joshua Jackson, Michael Tucker, and Kenan Thompson. Directed by: Sam Weisman.
