Leslie Nielsen credited as playing...
Father Mayii
- Nerd Student: Father Mayii?
- Jebedaiah Mayii: Yes?
- Nerd Student: Have you adhered strictly to your vow of celibacy?
- Jebedaiah Mayii: Yes, I have.
- Nerd Student: Me too.
- Jebedaiah Mayii: I'm not surprised. Mine was by choice.
- Father Luke Brophy: She has an unGodly voice, maniacal facial expressions...
- Father Jebedaiah Mayii: That doesn't prove a thing, she could be related to Joe Cocker.
- Father Luke Brophy: No.
- Father Jebedaiah Mayii: Could it be she had PMS?
- Father Jebedaiah Mayii: I command you to leave this child at once!
- Nancy: [Possessed] Make me, slimeball.
- Father Jebedaiah Mayii: I am a priest!
- Nancy: Oh, pardon me, your most reverent and holy slimeball!
- Jebedaiah Mayii: Luke, do not believe what you are seeing. It is merely an illusion.
- Nancy: You sound like George Bush on the deficit!
- Father Luke Brophy: You fiend!
- Jebedaiah Mayii: Why am I a fiend?
- Father Luke Brophy: Oh, I was talking to her.
- Jebedaiah Mayii: But you were looking at me.
- Father Luke Brophy: Well, you know...
- Jebedaiah Mayii: I had nothing to do with the water, Luke! It came from up there, it came from over there, it came from...
- Nancy: See I know all about you and why you really joined the church. Oh sure they have a terrific dental plan, but that wasn't why.
- Father Luke Brophy: Be quiet.
- Jebedaiah Mayii: Ignore that beast Luke.
- Nancy: You joined the church because you had no talent, no skills, were totally untrainable, and your SAT score was under 400.
- Father Luke Brophy: Shut up!
- Jebedaiah Mayii: Don't listen.
- Nancy: So you had two choices, either working in the church or the US Senate.