- Turkey: Let me tell you, I won't be here very long.
- Rover Dangerfield: I tell ya, the way I see it, you probably won't be around after Christmas!
- Turkey: Well, that would suit me just fine! Well, I might have known: There's absolutely nothing to eat here!
- Rover Dangerfield: Yeah? Look in a mirror!
- Turkey: Oh... I don't get it.
- Rover Dangerfield: Don't worry about it, drumstick. You will!
- Rover Dangerfield: [wakes up irritated due to Chester the rooster crowing in the doghouse] Hey, big mouth. Who asked for a wakeup call? It's 11 o'clock in the morning. I mean, I'm trying to sleep.
- [Chester continues crowing]
- Rover Dangerfield: How am I supposed to sleep with you yelling like that?
- [Chester crows more Rover climbs on top of the doghouse to confront him]
- Rover Dangerfield: Look, I'm trying to be nice. Knock it off, will you?
- Queenie: Hey, what's all this fuss? I'm trying to lay in there. Chester you're starting trouble again, huh? Now, I can't leave you alone for two minutes. You're impossible. My mother never did like you.
- Rover Dangerfield: [elbows Chester] Huh, you're really henpecked.
- Queenie: You, shut up. Stop picking on him.
- Rover Dangerfield: Hey, who do you think you're talking to? You're not married to me.
- [to Chester]
- Rover Dangerfield: let's be reasonable. We're both mature animals, right?
- [Chester agrees]
- Rover Dangerfield: From now on you're going to behave yourself right?
- [Chester agrees again]
- Rover Dangerfield: No, more cock-a-doodle-doo right?
- [Chester agrees then purposely crows in his face]
- Rover Dangerfield: That's it, buddy!
- [after "I'll Never do it on a Christmas Tree" he knocks on the front door, door opens,]
- Rover Dangerfield: Hey folks! I'll never dampen your holidays!
- [door slams shut]
- Rover Dangerfield: No respect. No respect at all.
- Eddie: Boy, that Count's really got class.
- Rover Dangerfield: I guess that's my trouble, no class. I looked up my family tree, two dogs were using it!
- [about playing fetch]
- Rover Dangerfield: He throws a stick, you run and get it, you bring it back and he throws it again! I don't get it! I mean, what's the point?
- Raffles: Because it makes them happy and it gives them lots of exercise
- Rover Dangerfield: If they want exercise, let them run and get it.
- Raffles: So what should I do?
- Rover Dangerfield: It's very simple. You do nothing.
- Rover Dangerfield: Where's Flappy?
- Queenie: Carmine fired him. He couldn't remember the routines.
- Rover Dangerfield: Oh, I saw that coming. Flappy was dumb. Yeah, he used to walk backwards and wag his head. I mean dumb! Carmine taught him to sit, he forgot how to stand! And when Carmine paper-trained him, that was something. He went right on the paper. The only trouble is, Carmine was reading it!
- Rover Dangerfield: [sleeps outsides then hears howling] What's that?
- Max: The wolves. They're hunting tonight. It's their blood feast. Be careful out here, Rover. They've been known to kill a chicken or two.
- Rover Dangerfield: Oh yeah? Well, I'm not worried. I'm no chicken.
- [hears howling again, starts imitating a chicken and goes inside to sleep with the other dogs]
- Raffles: Boys, this is Rover. He'll be staying with us. Rover, I'd like you to meet Max, Duke, Lem and Clem.
- Rover Dangerfield: Boys, how are you? Oh-h, I had a tough day. I want to relax. What do you do for fun around here?
- Duke: Well, after dinner we usually get together and howl at the moon.
- Rover Dangerfield: [sarcastically] I can hardly wait. What do you do after that? Play "Watch the wheat?"
- Rover Dangerfield: Las Vegas. What a town! I tell you, the action never stops. Tourists come from all over the world. It's wild, it's exciting. People get lucky here. Oh, and what a town to get lucky in. Why, I've met them all, losers, winners. Losers who think they're winners. Me, I'm lucky. I lived here, all my life. Boy, it's a great town for people. But I tell you, it's even a better town for me.
- Rover Dangerfield: [finds out that he fathered puppies with Daisy] Hey, I'm a father of five
- [a puppy lands on them]
- Rover Dangerfield: Six.
- Puppy: Hey, take it easy, I'm only a pup.
- [Rover hugs his puppy]
- Rover Dangerfield: Hey, boys, daddy's home.
- [He shown later teaching his children how to play cards]
- Rover Dangerfield: Kids, listen to your old man. If you want to be a success in life certain things you have to know. A flush beats two pairs. A full house beats a straight. And boys, your old man got lucky. I got a full house.
- [Daisy flirts with him]
- Rover Dangerfield: Uh, kids, you'll have to excuse me. We'll continue this later.
- [Rover attacks Rocky]
- Rocky: [kicks him off] You dirty mutt!
- Connie: Rocky, what are you doing?
- Rocky: I thought I was rid of you for good!
- Connie: 'Rid of you for good'?
- [Connie punches him in the face]
- Rocky: [furiously] What, are you taking the dog's side? Huh?
- [Rocky grabs Connie until Rover pushes him, Rover and the other dogs chase him out the door]
- Connie: Rover, NAIL HIM!
- Rover Dangerfield: [to a flock of grazing sheep] Okay, you cotton balls, listen up! I'm only going to bark this once.' your little Bo-Peep days are over. Your mommies aren't here to take care of you. From now on, I'm your mommy. Now get this. You're going to graze harder than you've grazed before. You may end up hating me, but I'll make sheep out of you. Always stay in a tight group. And no stampeding. I'm not gonna keep running back and forth. Screw up, you're lamb chops. Remember, they're out there waiting for you, with a mint jelly. Now 'Do we understand each other?'
- [the sheep bleat yes]
- Rover Dangerfield: I can't hear you!
- [the sheep bleat louder yes]
- Rover Dangerfield: Alright, move out. Move out!
- Rover Dangerfield: It's so exciting. Well, think about it, Rover. We'll be so healthy. Everyday, we'll-we'll get up early. We'll chase crows and herd sheep. We'll work together all day long. We'll never have to go anywhere. We'll spend the rest of our lives right here on this farm.
- Danny: Rover. Come here, boy. The lady who owned you called. We're sending you back to her. Dad's gonna bring the pickup and take you to the airport.
- [Rover gets all excited and then he notices that Daisy is sad]
- Rover Dangerfield: What do you know? Daisy, I'm going back...
- Daisy: To Connie?
- Rover Dangerfield: Oh, Daisy, don't take it that way. Connie's my owner. She raised me from a pup. Well, she, uh, she gave me my tie. I gotta go, Daisy. But you know, I'll-I'll miss you.
- Daisy: Will you miss me?
- Rover Dangerfield: Oh, Daisy, you know I will. I have to go. You understand that, don't you?
- Daisy: I understand, Rover. Goodbye.
- Rover Dangerfield: Uh, uh...
- Danny: Let's go Rover.
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