- Toddorbert Guzinski: Anyway, this Steve guy, snapped up Beth quicker than you can say tian gu li ao.
- Dave: The turtles they are crying.
- Toddorbert Guzinski: In Mandarin Chinese.
- Dave Marshak: CHICKEN DANCE!
- [on phone]
- Dave: Can you send your gorgeous hunk of a man to O'Doogles bar in town... that's right O'Doogles... I know that! Thank you, that's very sweet. You're very sweet.
- Toddorbert: Pain is temporary, glory lasts forever!
- Dave Marshak: No, with you, the clock, goodbye.
- Dave Marshak: Don't get caught pumping up a flat dog.
- Dave Marshak: Gotta be careful there, Steve, skiing is a very dangerous sport.
- Dave Marshak: Dave buys the farm.
- Toddorbert: Oh, and that's Gazinsky... like the cheese.
- Dave Marshak: I wet myself... I love a good fork story!
- Dave Marshak: Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain!