- Juan Antonio: [to a doctor] Stop calling me mister. Where's my body? And please don't tell me that it's a medical error! You don't care but I'm getting married on Sunday. So where's my body?
- Juan Antonio: Did you always want to be a girl, or what?
- Belinda: Me? I hate being a girl!
- Juan Antonio: Well, I feel as if I'm inside a robot. A hairy one.
- Belinda: You know how a man feels sitting down for a leak?
- Eduardo: She's changed since the accident.
- Juan Antonio: No, she'll come back to normal, she will, really. Belinda is an extraordinary girl, full of life, and pretty. Very pretty. Your folks will love her.
- Eduardo: I hope so. They don't trust my taste in women.
- Juan Antonio: Yeah. After your first wife...
- Eduardo: How do you know?
- Juan Antonio: Well, I guessed. Who hasn't had a first wife? Drink? Please, a champagne cocktail and a dry martini, no olive.
- Eduardo: How do you know?
- Juan Antonio: What?
- Eduardo: The olive.
- Juan Antonio: I know so much about you.
- Eduardo: Really?
- Juan Antonio: Eduardo, you have a mole just above your navel. You close your eyes when you're kissed.
- Eduardo: Yeah...
- Juan Antonio: And... you whisper things when you make love.
- Eduardo: Fuck!
- Juan Antonio: The only real problem is that their morale is awful.
- Miguel: Whose problem is that?
- Juan Antonio: Juan Antonio's.
- Miguel: Before that injury wrecked your career, we were friends.
- Juan Antonio: Was my career ruined?
- Miguel: Juan, you know you never got over having to retire so young.
- Juan Antonio: It was very difficult.
- Miguel: It's no reason to fuck us up, damn it!
- Juan Antonio: Why don't you train them?
- Miguel: You always tell me I'm second rate. You told me that a thousand times.
- Juan Antonio: Do I say that?
- Miguel: Yes.
- Juan Antonio: He's such an ass!
- Miguel: And now you're giving them yoga classes!
- Juan Antonio: Is that wrong?
- Miguel: No, it isn't. But I'm really pissed off. And as for the guys... And you're odd! No, you're not odd. You're a bit strange.
- Miguel: [just before Juan Antonio start laughing] No, don't laugh. If you said it was a tactic... But I don't get it.
- Juan Antonio: It's a tactic.
- Juan Antonio: [to all his soccer players] Right, guys. You hear me? Let's try to cheer up. I don't know, why doesn't someone tell a joke?
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Top Gap
By what name was Pon un hombre en tu vida (1996) officially released in Canada in English?
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