Rowan Atkinson credited as playing...
Zazu
- Zazu: [singing] Nobody knows the trouble I've seen. / Nobody knows my sorrow.
- Scar: Oh, Zazu, do lighten up. Sing something with a little bounce in it.
- Zazu: [singing] It's a small world after all
- Scar: No, no! Anything but that!
- Zazu: [singing] I've got a lovely bunch of coconuts. / Dee-dee-dee-dee, / There they a-standing in a row.
- Zazu, Scar: [Scar joins in] Big ones, small ones, some as big as your head
- Zazu: [whispering] I would never have had to do this with Mufasa.
- Zazu: Checking in with the morning report.
- Mufasa: Fire away.
- Zazu: Well the buzz from the bees is that the leopards are in a bit of a spot. And the baboons are going ape over this. Of course, the giraffes are acting like they're above it all... The tick birds are pecking on the elephants. I told the elephants to forget it, but they can't. The cheetahs are hard up, but I always say, cheetahs never prosper...
- Mufasa: Don't turn your back on me, Scar.
- Scar: Oh, no, Mufasa. Perhaps you shouldn't turn your back on me.
- Mufasa: [growls, runs to stand before him] Is that a challenge?
- Scar: Temper, temper. I wouldn't dream of challenging you.
- Zazu: Pity. Why not?
- Scar: Well, as far as brains go, I got the lion's share. But, when it comes to brute strength, I'm afraid I'm at the shallow end of the gene pool.
- Zazu: Well, as slippery as your mind is, as the King's brother *you* should've been first in line.
- Scar: [Scar threatens to bite, Zazu retreats toward Mufasa] Well, I was first in line, until the little hairball was born.
- Mufasa: That hairball is my son. And *your* future king.
- Scar: Oh, I shall have to practice my curtsy.
- Zazu: [about Scar] There's one in every family, sire. Two in mine, actually, and they always manage to ruin special occasions.
- Mufasa: What am I going to do with him?
- Zazu: He'd make a very handsome throw rug.
- Mufasa: [Surprised] Zazu!
- Zazu: And just think, whenever he gets dirty, you can take him out and beat him.
- Shenzi: Well, well, well, Banzai, what have we got here?
- Banzai: Hmm, I don't know Shenzi uh, what do you think Ed?
- Ed the Hyena: Oo ehehe, oh hahahaha
- Banzai: Yeah, just what I was thinking, a trio of trespassers.
- Zazu: And quite by accident let me assure you...
- Shenzi: Whoa, whoa, wait wait. I know you, you're Mufasa's little stooge.
- Zazu: I madame, am the king's majordomo.
- Banzai: And that would make you...?
- Young Simba: The future King!
- Shenzi: Do you know what we do to kings who step out of their kingdom?
- Young Simba: Puh, you can't do anything to me.
- Zazu: Uh-uh, technically they can, we are on their land.
- Young Simba: But Zazu, you told me they are nothing but slobbery, mangy stupid poachers.
- Zazu: Ix-nay on the upid-stay...
- Banzai: Who you callin' upid-stay?
- Zazu: [leading Simba and Nala to the waterhole] Step lively. The sooner we get to the water hole, the sooner we can leave.
- Young Nala: [whispering to Simba] So, where are we really going?
- Young Simba: An elephant graveyard.
- Young Nala: Wow!
- Young Simba: Shhhh! Zazu.
- Young Nala: Right. So, how are we gonna ditch the dodo?
- [Simba starts whispering to her]
- Zazu: Just look at you two. Little seeds of romance blossoming in the savannah. Your parents will be thrilled, what with your being betrothed and all.
- Young Simba: Be-what?
- Zazu: Betrothed. Intended. Affianced.
- Young Nala: Meaning...
- Zazu: One day, you two are going to be married.
- Young Simba: Yuck!
- Young Nala: Ew.
- Young Simba: I can't marry her. She's my friend.
- Young Nala: Yeah, it'd be so weird.
- Zazu: Well, sorry to bust your bubble, but you two turtledoves have no choice. It's a tradition going back generations.
- Young Simba: Well, when I'm king, that'll be the first thing to go.
- Zazu: Not so long as I'm around.
- Young Simba: Well, in that case, you're fired.
- Zazu: Nice try, but only the king can do that.
- Young Nala: Well, he's the future king.
- Young Simba: Yeah, so you have to do what I tell you.
- Zazu: Not yet, I don't. And with an attitude like that, I'm afraid you're shaping up to be a pretty pathetic king indeed.
- Young Simba: Not the way I see it
- Young Simba: Look, banana beak is scared.
- Zazu: It's Mr. banana beak to you, fuzzy, and right now we are all in very real danger.
- Young Simba: Danger? Hah! I walk on the wild side. I laugh in the face of danger. Ha ha ha ha!
- Banzai: Hey, Boss.
- Scar: Oh, what is it this time?
- Banzai: We got a bone to pick with you.
- Shenzi: I'll handle this. Scar, there's no food, no water.
- Banzai: Yeah. It's dinner time and we ain't got no stinking entrées.
- Scar: It's the lionesses' job to do the hunting.
- Banzai: Yeah, but they won't go hunt.
- Scar: Oh... Eat Zazu.
- Zazu: Oh, you wouldn't want me. I'd be so tough and gamey and...
- Scar: Oh, Zazu, don't be ridiculous. All you need is a little garlic.
- Zazu: I'm here to announce that King Mufasa's on his way, so you'd better have a good excuse for missing the ceremony this morning.
- Scar: [sees the mouse scampering off] Oh, now look, Zazu. You made me lose my lunch.
- Zazu: Ha! You'll lose more than that when the king gets through with you. He's as mad as a hippo with a hernia...
- Scar: [approaches him menacingly] Oooh... I quiver with fear!
- Shenzi: Do you know what we do to kings who step out of their kingdom?
- Young Simba: Puh. You can't do anything to me.
- Zazu: Technically, they can. We are on their land.
- Young Simba: But Zazu, you told me they're nothing but slobbering, mangy, stupid poachers.
- Zazu: Ix-nay on the upid-stay.
- Banzai: Who are you callin' upid-stay?
- Zazu: My, my, my. Look at the sun. It's time to go!
- Zazu: [singing] If this is where the monarchy is headed/ count me out! Out of service, out of Africa/ I wouldn't hang about...
- [the log that he is perched on goes over a water of psychedelic colors]
- Zazu: Ahhh!
- [Zazu manages to escape the free-fall as he flies towards the camera]
- Zazu: [singing crossly] This child is getting wildly OUT OF WIIIIIIIING!
- [Mufasa, Simba, Nala and Zazu are heading back home to Pride Rock at sunset]
- Mufasa: Zazu.
- [Zazu flies to Mufasa and lands in front of him]
- Zazu: Yes, sire?
- Mufasa: [sternly] Take Nala home. I've got to teach my son a lesson.
- [Simba leans his head down to the grass. Zazu flies to Simba and Nala]
- Zazu: [to Nala] Come, Nala.
- [to Simba]
- Zazu: Simba,
- [sighs]
- Zazu: good luck.
- [he and Nala leave, Simba looks at Nala and Zazu]
- Mufasa: Simba!
- [Simba slowly walks to Mufasa, notices the big paw prints he follows in. He then sits next to Mufasa. He closes his eyes]
- Mufasa: [sternly looks down at Simba] Simba, I'm very disappointed in you.
- Young Simba: I know.
- Mufasa: You could've been killed. You deliberately disobeyed me, and what's worse, you put Nala in danger.
- Young Simba: I was just trying to be brave, like you.
- Mufasa: I'm only brave when I have to be. Simba, being brave doesn't mean you go looking for trouble.
- Young Simba: But you're not scared of anything.
- Zazu: As the king's brother, you should have been first in line.
- Scar: Well, I was first in line, until the little hairball was born.
- Mufasa: That hairball is my son and your future king.
- Scar: [Begins walking away] Oh, I shall practice my curtsy!
- Mufasa: Don't turn your back on me, Scar.
- Scar: Oh, no Mufasa. Perhaps you shouldn't turn your back on me.
- Mufasa: [growls and runs in front of Scar's path] Is that a challenge?
- Scar: Temper temper. I wouldn't dream of challenging you.
- Zazu: Pity. Why not?
- Scar: Well as far as brains go I got the lion's share. But when it comes to brute strength, 'm afraid I'm at the shallow end of the gene pool