Jessica Tuck credited as playing...
Gaylord
- Chip: Isn't it just a little bit strange that Jeannie never brought uh, what's-his-butt over here before?
- Gaylord: His name is Dudley, and they only met three months ago.
- Aaron Humphrey: I know I'd be a shoo-in with the people if I could just get those old-money blue-bloods to endorse my candidacy.
- Chip: And they'd be damned fools not to, Dad, irregardless of the fact that you are nouveau riche.
- Aaron Humphrey: Don't you ever use that phrase in this house! I am not nouveau riche! I am a self-made businessman; and I'm not your dad, I'm your father-in-law, get it?
- Chip: Right, uh, self-made businessman, father-in-law, I got it.
- Takashi: Hey everybody, everybody! Booger's parents are here! Mr. and Mrs. Booger, Mr. and Mrs. Booger!
- [applause]
- Dudley Dawson: Mom? Dad!
- Chip: They look like they just fell off a pickle truck.
- Gaylord: [slaps Chip] Chip!
- Chip: Ow!
- Dudley Dawson: Folks, everybody, excuse me, these are my parents.
- Everybody: Oh!
- Betty Skolnick: We're so glad that you're here, Mr. and Mrs. Dawson.
- [applause]
- Dudley Dawson: I am flabbergasted. We would both like to thank all of you from the bottom of our hearts for this... wonderful shower you're throwing us.
- Lewis Skolnick: It's probably the first shower he's ever had.
- [guffaws]
- Mr. Dawson: No, he showered regularly: every other night in the summer, and weekly in the winter.
- [more guffaws]
- Dudley Dawson: Well, I don't know about you guys, but I'm ready to jump off the dock!
- Ogre: Yeah!
- [applause]
- Dudley Dawson: Heidi, where are you going?
- Heidi 'Booger' Dawson: I shouldn't be here.
- Dudley Dawson: Of course, you should be here.
- Heidi 'Booger' Dawson: I'm not really your daughter; Chip got me from an orphanage.
- Dudley Dawson: [suspiciously] Chip... got you in an orphanage?
- Aaron Humphrey: [Chip scoffs] You, uh... rented an orphan?
- Chip: Well, it seemed like a good idea at the time.
- [starts crying pathetically]
- Chip: I've been under a lot of stress lately; I'm sorry.
- Gaylord: [Aaron starts strangling Chip, rejecting his incompetent apology; Gaylord stops Aaron for a moment] Daddy, don't!
- Everybody: [Gaylord slaps Chip, then kicks him in the groin with the wedding guests in the background chanting as Betty screams] Betty, don't push!
- Aaron Humphrey: [to Chip] Get off our land!
- Gaylord: [Chip cringes and starts to run away] Aren't you forgetting something: the keys to the BMW?
- Aaron Humphrey: Cough 'em up!
- Lewis Skolnick: [with a stethoscope between his teeth] Okay, honey!
- Chip: [Chip tosses the keys back to Aaron] You nerds did this to me! But I'll get you... if it's the last thing I do!
- Gaylord: [Chip stumbles over a standing vase as he leaves the estate] Bye, Chip!
- Chip: Hmph!
- Gaylord: My next husband's going to be a nerd.