- Stacey: Can you make me one of those coffees?
- Bella Manning: Would that be with or without arsenic?
- Stacey: Oh, I don't mind as long as it's frothy!
- Drag Queen: [During the trivia quiz at Gay Night at the SU bar] Who is "the only gay in the village"?
- Tony Hutchinson: Dominic! I mean Daffyd!
- Dominic Reilly: I'm not gay, I'm a virgin!
- Drag Queen: Ooh darling, I hope you're saving yourself for me!
- Sam 'OB' O'Brien: [after he opens the freezer at Il Gnosh, which Dom & Tina are trapped in] Oh, sorry mate, I didn't mean to interrupt anything...
- Dominic Reilly: [embarrassed] Tina was just admiring my profiterole tower.
- Sam 'OB' O'Brien: Is that what you call it?
- Jack Osborne: If she's old enough to be in college then I'm Miss World.
- Sam 'OB' O'Brien: Then put your bikini on, Jack, 'cause she's doing media studies.
- Steph Dean: [at Cameron's audition for a band] Cam can sing.
- Declan: I sing.
- Steph Dean: Yeah, well you might want a night off!
- Declan: Name me one band with two singers.
- Steph Dean: The Beatles.
- Declan: Apart from The Beatles.
- Steph Dean: Oasis. Oh, and Abba!
- Declan: Do we look like Abba?
- Steph Dean: Well, you could grow your beard a bit longer.
- Liz Burton Taylor: [screaming] Get off him! Why are you hitting my son?
- Jacob 'Jake' Dean: [to Becca, who is crying] Tell them what you've done!
- [silence]
- Jacob 'Jake' Dean: She's been having an affair. The lying bitch has been having an affair!
- Frankie Dean: With who?
- Darren Osborne: Word of advice, Frankie, never apply to be on Mastermind.
- Rebecca 'Becca' Hayton: [about Justin] He kissed me in the middle of the classroom
- Ben Davies: Blimey, he's got some bottle for a 16-year-old, ain't he?
- Rebecca 'Becca' Hayton: He's 15...
- Tony Hutchinson: [about Ali and Darlene] You're not surely suggesting we indulge them, are you?
- Mandy Richardson Hutchinson: Well, you should have thought of that before getting your kit off, shouldn't you?
- Lee Hunter: Do you really think going with all of Dan's mates will bring him back?
- Lisa Hunter: Thanks, Lee. Now I know how you really feel.
- Lisa Hunter: I want you to get to know my family better.
- Ben Davies: I already know them!
- Lisa Hunter: Yeah, well, it's different now.
- Stacey: I'll see if I can get you a job at the salon.
- Lee Hunter: Thank you, I could kiss you right now!
- Stacey: Most men could - I'm gorgeous!
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