The Laughing Woman

Voice over Loudspeaker.: [in typically bright, matter-of-fact announcer's voice] Aries, with Mars on the ascendant, tends to produce a homosexuality. If you were born on one of the last days of the month, these inclinations towards inversion will be confined to the subconscious. Taurus, with Venus on the ascendant, will favor narcissism and masturbation. The tranquilizing influence of the full moon at the moment of birth channels the onanistic instinct toward extroversion. Gemini, with Mercury on the ascendant, will emphasize masochism and sadism. If you were born during the early morning hours, your tendency will be towards masochism, with a sublimation of the sadistic urge. Cancer, with the Moon on the ascendant, highlights necrophilia. However, as the subject will rarely find occasion to indulge in this practice, most Cancerians will be drawn to scopophilism as a satisfying alternative. If the moon was in the first quarter at the time of birth, these tendencies will be manifested in a perfectly straightforward way. You have been listening to "Sexual Aberrations and the Stars."