Lori : [about a Ouija board] You gotta ask it a question!
Boog : Will I... ever have a girlfriend?
Patti : No.
Lori : Boog, you gotta ask it a serious question! Like - Ouija board, Ouija board, will The Smiths ever get back together?
Boog : I just want to get laid, that's all.
Patti : Well, Boog, my funkified little friend, my suggestion is either double up on the whackin' off, or turn faggot super-quick 'cause it ain't happening here.
Boog : I tried being queer for a while, but... guys don't like me, either.
Patti : Stevie Nicks? I think I fucked her once.
Boog : I think it'd be actually pretty cool if I died from AIDS or something.
Lori : What?
Patti : Say what?
Boog : Well, that means I would've had sex with someone before I died, you know?
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