- Smithy: Hey, John?
- John: Yeah?
- Smithy: What's brown and sticky, mate?
- John: What?
- Smithy: What's brown and sticky?
- John: Why?
- Smithy: Don't fuckin' ask me why. You're supposed to say; "I dunno, what's brown and sticky?"
- John: [depressed] I don't care.
- Smithy: That's hardly the fuckin' point is it you wanker? Just say,
- [in unison with John]
- Smithy: "What's brown and sticky?"
- [pause]
- Smithy: Go on then.
- John: I just did.
- Smithy: No! I said it then!
- John: What's brown and sticky?
- [pause]
- John: Your fuckin' knob up George's ass. Now, why are you askin' me?
- Smithy: [sigh] It's just a joke man.
- John: Yeah, well, I don't get it.
- Smithy: I haven't fuckin' told it yet.
- John: Well, get on with it.
- Smithy: [sigh] Fuck you!
- Charlie: [later] Alright, what IS brown and sticky?
- [scene cuts]
- Det. Robert Bryant: I know you don't believe me, do you? You don't, do you?
- Madison: No.
- [shakes head]
- Det. Robert Bryant: Anyhow, well, we end up screwin' and I'm lying there, raging for me Calvin Kleins. I mean, I just want to wake up with the girl and get out of there lively. I'm tellin' ya, she turns round and says to me, right out of the blue, "my haircut is the dearest thing I own." Do you believe that?
- Madison: No. Sorry, Bob, I'm confused.
- Det. Robert Bryant: You're confused? You're always confused.
- Det. Robert Bryant: [shortly later] And anyway, Jim, there lies me problem. I'm lying there stark with the psycho tart from the 7-11, contemplating making a break through the locked front door. I mean I had no escape.
- Madison: To be honest with you, Bob, it's really not your predicament I'm thinking about.
- Det. Robert Bryant: So what are you saying?
- Madison: You sleep with women every night. You take your chances, if you like.
- Det. Robert Bryant: I like it very much.
- Madison: What I don't understand is how a haircut could be the most expensive thing someone owns?
- Det. Robert Bryant: Exactly. That's what I'm saying, the girl is mad.
- Madison: No, apart from the madness, and, quite simply, in arithmetical terms, it's either one expensive haircut or she doesn't own a fucking thing.
- Det. Robert Bryant: Or both.
- Madison: Or both and you just seem to accept it. That, and you're concentrating on the part played by your leaking cock in the whole story.