User reviews

Ed Wood is eclipsed and becomes Orson Welles. This film is fantastic. Vampire witches who fight in terribly choreographed scenes and dialog that could have breaking ribs with laughter. Plan 9 From OUterSpace dons't stand a chance against this. Described by the writer and psychic Stephen Armourae on the Vampire Forum as a masterpiece- he's from England and thoroughly sarcastic.

It has Stephanie Beaton and the producers know whats going to save them from bankcrupcy by repeatedly using her. Though she leaves me cold as she looks more like the undead than all the devil raisers. And Eileen Daly is just a lower rate Elvira. The whole thing is badly done.

Watch it for the script though

The diastrous Witchcraft franchise gets picked up by the Brits, but can they turn this embarassing series around? Hell no.

The english studio makes the same mistakes. Excess t&a, messy sfx, nonsensical plot and laughable acting.

Thankfully Willy warlock is left back in the US but we do have one of the regular agents cross the pond.

Warlocks, vampires, witches and stupidity. Yes folks this really is part ten!

The Good:

Nope

The Bad:

Poor sound balancing

Emily Booth really is a terrible actress

Dreadful cast

Things I Learnt From This Movie:

Stakes pierce hearts but not clothes

This franchise doesn't know when to die

I bought a set of 4 DVDs for 10 bucks at my local Suncoast, which contained this movie and three other trashy horror flicks (including its sequel "Witchcraft XI"). So basically I paid the rock bottom price of $2.50 for this movie, if you do the math. I can't exactly say I was ripped off. I have a thing for trashy horror movies, but this is the kind of trash that gives trash a bad name. The budget couldn't be over $1,000 (though it appears as if they spent a total of $1.50). I know it's a low-budget film, but that's no excuse for totally uninspired camerawork. The film "Blood Cult," though not very good, was made for an extremely low budget and still had fairly good camerawork and acting. The acting in this movie is the definition of "effortless," especially from that muscular guy with the Texas accent. Everyone is pretty much reading their lines off the page. You can take that figuratively or literally. I wouldn't be surprised if the script was off-camera as they were performing. I said before that I've never seen a bad English actor. This movie has quite a few bad ones. And though English movies aren't always good, they always seem to have at least a level of sophistication, which is why I don't see why any Englishman, or Englishwoman, would volunteer to do a home-video-style schlock flick like this. Did Merchant Ivory put a hold on their casting calls? Usually, I think people are too hard on directors and actors. Even some of the worst movies in Hollywood have some level of professionalism in the directing, acting and cinematography departments. Even when you watch a movie like "Glitter" you can't honestly say it looks like a third-grader shot those scenes (though a third-grader could've written the script). I've seen home movies that are shot better than "Witchcraft X," and that's no exaggeration whatsoever. Even the gore is minimal since the filmmakers only had money to buy some fake blood on sale at Party City. Not a single effort was put into making this movie--let's just sum it up like that. You get the picture. There's a good deal of nudity, though that doesn't save it. However, I must say that girl with the red-orange hair, who's either naked or wearing a cleavage-popping outfit throughout the film, is really hot!

My score: 1 (out of 10)

I still can't believe how bad this movie was. If I wasn't a massochist I don't know if I would have survived the viewing. It looks like it cost about $1000 to make, but it wasn't the money that brought them down. The acting was horrid - not just bad, 3rd graders could have read the lines better. Second, the only other reason to watch this kind of movie is the skin, and that is sorely lacking in this flick. We don't even get to see the more attractive chicas in the buff.

Ahh well, better luck next time eh?

"Mistress of the Craft" Celeste works as an agent for the London branch of Interpol's Bureau 17, which specializes in (I think) occult criminals. She possesses the Eye of Destiny, good in her hands, dangerous if anyone else got it.

Bureau 17 has caught a Satanist from California, Hyde (no relation to Dr. Jekyll). Detective Lucy Lutz of LAPD flies to England to bring him back to the US. Lutz is the connection to the earlier Witchcraft movies, having been played by Stephanie Beaton before in Witchcraft 9. In part 7, Lutz was played by another woman; in 6, Lutz was a man!

Lutz's part in 9 was not terribly big, but she's one of the main stars in this one. Though she's left behind her high heels and short skirts, she still has revealing tops in this one. And this time around she has nude and sex scenes. Beaton is pretty appealing in the role.

As usual, there are a number of sex scenes. An anonymous clubgoer has a fatal threesome with two vampires, the Satanist and head vampire get it on with some kink, Lutz finds an English pal, and Celeste and her boyfriend make love.

The main recurring character of the Witchcraft series, Will Spanner, does not appear in this one, although Lutz mentions him to Bureau 17 agent Dixon in a conversation about vampires. She also phones her partner Detective Garner (parts 6, 7, and 9), though we don't hear his end of the conversation.

Hyde is sprung from jail by a group of vampires led by Raven, for a Walpurgis ritual having something to do with a god named Morsheba (I think). Hyde delivers all of his lines in a very flat manner, while Raven overacts to a campy degree. The fight scenes are terribly choreographed.

The audio in the movie was pretty poorly recorded, and poorly edited. Additionally, some dialogue gets lost under blaring music or sirens. Cinematography isn't great either. Having the movie set in and actually shot in the UK was a bit of a novelty though, at least for this series.

Wendy Cooper is very good as Celeste; attractive, certainly, but more importantly she's easily the best actor in the movie (bad fight scenes notwithstanding). I'm quite surprised her filmography is so small. If there's ever a Witchcraft XIV, and I would bet there will be, they should bring her back, even if it means flying her to California!

Witchcraft X is available on its own, or in the DVD collection Hotter Than Hell along with Witchcraft XI and two unrelated movies.

Generally I like horror movies, but unfortunately this fell out of the one pound bargain bin into my friends hand. We sat down to watch it, ready to be scared and ended up spraying food everywhere we were laughing so much. The concept isn't that bad, but why they decided number ten in the series would be lucky I don't know. The worst thing about the movie is the actors. The camera work was poor, the special effects are actually not bad if I am being generous, but overall the story failed to connect on any levels because the actors were as effective as a small lump of badly charred elm. They were wooden beyond measure, especially a foppish young actor who was fifteen years too young to be taken seriously as any kind of government agent. He looked more like a public school boy in fact. There was a really amusing sex scene where he looked like he was bobbing for apples as a busty lady rode on top of him and later his nappy sized underpants were hysterical, but then I remembered it wasn't supposed to be a comedy. I'm desperately wracking my brain to find something positive to say about this movie apart from the occasional flash of breasts, but there simply isn't. Let's hope ten was the lucky number and they don't do another one, I'm not sure my ribs could take it.

There is a truth in the world and that is that even if you help to shape and make a film sometimes what you have at the end bears little resemblance to the memories of those involved in making this film the greatest bad film iv'e ever had the pleasure/pain of taking part in!

some people say we had a budget of about £1,000 thats so not true!!! it was £10,000!!!

Yeah there were script problems but some of the best and worst ever made were re-written on the spur of the moment too!

we toiled,Sweated and laughed our way through the production of Witchcraft X-MotC. with the gusto of a crew who just wanted to do it!

Why oh why oh why oh why????? many have asked and i only have one answer....

because we could!!!! never mind the end result, its just a movie!!!

Wow, where to start! If you love overly dramatic slutty bisexual VAMPires dressed in hot pants and kitschy lingerie then you will love this. These vampire are so animated just a simple meal of some idiot that doesn't understand the word RUN, then this is the movie for you. The writing is so bad it's hard to believe it's real. The good guys and tastefully dressed sexy interpol agents and local police really got a handle on the situation. I could go on for days on this movie. The hand gestures of these vampire girls when they have their prey is worthy of rewind. This might be one of the most convoluted horror films in history. Should you watch this? Only if you want to "waste" your life away. But you will do it laughing. Have fun!

Well what can I say about this movie! Let's see! STEPHANIE BEATON!!!!! My god!!! Never before has a cop looked so good!!! With her shirt tied and her breasts hanging out! Anyways, let's talk about the movie. Despite the fact the fight scenes are badly choreographed. Which, I thought was the funniest thing about the movie! And then there's Eileen Daly. God! This woman could make you urinate your pants at the sight of her acting! Oh! this has got to be the funniest line in the movie. I forgot the character's name so I'm just going to put guy, ok?

Guy: Maybe...if we had time...we could torture her...to death!

When I heard that line my friend and I bursted out laughing and couldn't stop! This is such a great schlock-fest! Watch and laugh yourself silly!!

Don't forget the staking! You can tell where they used dummies! OH MY GOD!!!!

Sean Harry gives a stellar performance in what is a truly wonderful pile of poo. Witness his constant right hand turns around London! Gasp in awe at the amazing Y-fronts! Fear him as he points that plastic pistol! See the spectacle of the stiletto staking! Snigger at those floating silicon mountains! Get some cheese to go with that ham!

Pausing the film so you can go laugh your ass off is only one of many ways to watch it. Watch it while drunk, stoned, shagging, with friends, with a goat, with duct-tape, with alcopops, while being a little teapot, while running a convention, while hitting on women, while being hit on by men, while getting a haircut, while wondering why you have this film in the first place.

Don't buy this movie, but do watch it for the sheer entertainment value. Higher 'Ick!' factor than any gory horror movie, more ham'n'cheese than a really big sandwich, Sean Harry delivers it all. And some decent conventions on top.

Love'n'hugs Sean, T&L :)

I Watched This Film At The Weekend With A Group Of Friends And I Haven't Laughed And Enjoyed A Film So Much In All My Life.

The Acting Is Just Brilliant (Especially Sean Harry aka Agent Chris Dixon). I Have Never Been So Blown Away With A Performance In My Life.

I Have Watched A Lot Of Films In My Life And This Is Up With The Best Of Them.

If You Get The Chance To Watch This Film Then You Must.

Marks Out Of 10. I Gave It A Big 10

Once again, the worst actress alive, messes up an even messier flick. How is that possible? Without Eileen Daly, this would just have been bad, but her "acting" plus "story" plus a production team and director with the talent of a vacuum cleaner, makes this about the worst movie ever made, next to Oasis of the Zombies. I normally like low budget, or even no budget, but this is just a waste of time.

Oh, one plus: Some of the chicks have quite nice bodies. That's about it... AVOID!!!

Witchcraft X: Mistress of the Craft (1998)

* 1/2 (out of 4)

Detective Lutz (Stephanie Beaton; second straight film) goes to England after a bisexual vampire frees a Satan worshiper from California. Pretty soon dead bodies are coming up everywhere and it's up to everyone's favorite detective to stop it. Yes they're still going and yes they took a minor character from the previous entries and gave her her own film. WITCHCRAFT X is a bad movie, there's no doubt about it but I will give director-writer Elisar Cabrera credit for knowing this. It really does seem like he watched the previous few entries and realized he had nothing to lose so he decided to change things around a bit. The biggest change is that there are more horror elements going on here with the vampires. Not only do we get some neck biting but we also have the highest body count from any of the films in the series up to this point. Sure, the effects suck (no pun) but at least they're something different. The sex/nudity level hasn't really been cut down. At first I thought it had but the director quickly makes up for the lack of skin early on by giving us a three-way (not that kind) dealing with two sex scenes going on at once and another beauty taking a bath. The sex scene between the bisexual vampire and the Satan worshiper was fairly funny and especially the hot wax. The performances are pretty much what you'd expect from a film like this (meaning people are hired for their breast size) but I did find Beaton to be fun to watch (and look at). The biggest problem with the film is that it simply goes on way too long and whatever decent ideas are in the screenplay just get watered down by the extremely long running time. There's also way too much dialogue but this here has happened in all ten films to date.