Rob Schneider: Delivery

Big Daddy

Delivery

[Julian and the Delivery Guy are learning how to read]
Julian: Electricity! Constitution! Philadelphia!
Nazo: Fish! Pony! Hip, Hip Hop, Hip Hop anonymous? Damn you! You gave him the easy ones.

Tommy: How long have you delivered food to Mr. Koufax?
Nazo: I deliver food for six years. Plus, I'm stripper. But I've gained weight so that's a problem.
Tommy: I see. And, in your experience, was Sonny a good father to Julian?
Nazo: Oh, yes. They make terrific pair. They went together like lamb and tuna fish.
Tommy: Lamb and tuna fish?
Nazo: Maybe you like spaghetti and meatball? You more comfortable with that analogy?
Homeless Guy: Yes, considering we're in America. I mean, if you don't like spaghetti and meatballs, why don't you get the hell out?
Nazo: Listen, I'll come down there and give you a crew cut, Mister.
Homeless Guy: Let's see your clippers.
Nazo: Not my problem your father was sick.
Homeless Guy: That - well - -Stop yelling at me! AAAhhhhhhhh!

Nazo: This is bullshit! Should have same rules for everyone, no matter what age!

Nazo: What are your cards?
Julian 'Frankenstein' McGrath: I got a six, a five, a Jack, a four and an eight. I win!
Sonny Koufax: What do you mean "you win"? I had a hand just like that before, I didn't win?
Julian 'Frankenstein' McGrath: Because I win.
Nazo: This is bullshit!
Sonny Koufax: Alright, take it easy man.
Nazo: Every time different cards, he still wins?

Nazo: [to Arthur Brooks] Hey, I remember you. You always order three piece of cheesecake!
[Arthur Brooks looks embarrassed]

Nazo: [at Sonny's door] I had call for delivery in building, but I think it was crank call.
[holds up a bag]
Nazo: Want some chocolate cake?

[Sonny has left his apartment leaving Nazo in charge of Julian]
Julian: [jumping on the couch signing along to the kangaroo song] Would you like to come and play? We'll hop, hop, hop, hop...
Julian: [hits Nazo on the head with a paperback book] ... WHAT DO YOU SAY?
[the doorbell rings]
Nazo: Get the door!
[Julian leaves to answer the door]

[after Sonny insisted to his father he would be a better father to Julian, people in court are making phone calls to their respective parents]
Phil D'Amato: Hello dad. Yeah, I just wanted to say I love ya.
Ted Castellucci: Hi, mom? Could you put dad on the phone for a second?
Nazo: Your son been so kind to papa.
Homeless Guy: [to the man seated in front of him who is calling on his phone] Can I borrow that when you're done?
Lenny: Your honor, my son deserves this kid.
[everyone in court cheers in support as Sonny and Lenny hug each other]
Homeless Guy: [by this time, the Homeless Guy has finally managed to call his father] I love you too, sir.
[the Homeless Guy makes a salute gesture]