Office Space (1999)

Diedrich Bader: Lawrence

Photos 

Quotes 

• Peter Gibbons : What would you do if you had a million dollars?

  Lawrence : I'll tell you what I'd do, man: two chicks at the same time, man.

  [Peter laughs and then notices Lawrence's dead serious expression] 

  Peter Gibbons : That's it? If you had a million dollars, you'd do two chicks at the same time?

  Lawrence : Damn straight. I always wanted to do that, man. And I think if I were a millionaire I could hook that up, too; 'cause chicks dig dudes with money.

  Peter Gibbons : Well, not all chicks.

  Lawrence : Well, the type of chicks that'd double up on a dude like me do.

  Peter Gibbons : Good point.

  Lawrence : Well, what about you now? What would you do?

  Peter Gibbons : Besides two chicks at the same time?

  Lawrence : Well, yeah.

  Peter Gibbons : Nothing.

  Lawrence : Nothing, huh?

  Peter Gibbons : I would relax... I would sit on my ass all day... I would do nothing.

  Lawrence : Well, you don't need a million dollars to do nothing, man. Take a look at my cousin: he's broke, don't do shit.

• Peter Gibbons : Let me ask you something. When you come in on Monday and you're not feeling real well, does anyone ever say to you, "Sounds like someone has a case of the Mondays?"

  Lawrence : No. No, man. Shit, no, man. I believe you'd get your ass kicked sayin' something like that, man.

• Peter Gibbons : Lawrence, you awake?

  Lawrence : Yeah.

  Peter Gibbons : You wanna come over?

  Lawrence : No thanks, man. I don't want you fucking up my life, too.

• Peter Gibbons : [about the plan to steal from Initech]  Before we go any further, all right, we have to swear to God, Allah, that nobody knows about this but us, all right? No family members, no girlfriends, nobody.

  Samir : Of course.

  Michael Bolton : Agreed,

  Lawrence : [from the next apartment through the wall]  Don't worry, man. I won't tell anyone either.

  Michael Bolton : Who the fuck is that?

  Peter Gibbons : Uh, don't worry about him. He's cool.

• [Peter and Lawrence are working on the crew cleaning up the burned Initech building] 

  Peter Gibbons : This isn't so bad, huh? Makin' bucks, gettin' exercise, workin' outside.

  Lawrence : Fuckin' A.

  Peter Gibbons : [nods]  Fuckin' A.

• Lawrence : [as Peter leaves to confess to Lumbergh about stealing money, knowing he may go to prison]  Peter... watch out for your cornhole, bud.

• Lawrence : We still goin' fishin' this weekend?

  Peter Gibbons : Nah, Lumbergh's gonna have me come in on Saturday, I just know it.

  Lawrence : Well, you can get out of that easily.

  Peter Gibbons : Yeah? How?

  Lawrence : Well, when a boss wants you to work on Saturday he generally asks you at the end of the day, right?

  Peter Gibbons : Yeah.

  Lawrence : So, all you gotta do is avoid him... on the last few hours on Friday, duck out early, turn off your answering machine... you should be home free, man.

  Peter Gibbons : That's a really good idea.

  Lawrence : Fuckin' A, man!

• Lawrence : [shouting through the wall from his apartment]  Hey Peter, man, check out channel 9, check out this chick.

• Lawrence : Doesn't that chick look like Anne?

  Peter Gibbons : Yeah, a little bit...

  Lawrence : Hey, she hasn't been over here in a while. You two still goin' out?

  Peter Gibbons : Yeah. I guess... I don't know. Sometimes I get the feeling like she's cheating on me.

  Lawrence : Yeah, I get that feeling too, man.

  Peter Gibbons : What do you mean by that?

  Lawrence : I don't know, man. I just get that feeling lookin' at her like she's the type of chick that just...

  [shudders] 

• Peter Gibbons : Lawrence, can we just pretend like we can't hear each other through the wall?

  Lawrence : I'm sorry, man. Anne over or something?

  Peter Gibbons : No but, I mean, if you wanna talk, just come on over.