Les amazones du temple d'or

A curious and almost unknown adventure movie.

Directed jointly by the French director Alain Payet and the Spanish Jesús Franco, this French production can be defined as a simple B-series adventure film with the greatest incentive of seeing the aforementioned semi-nude Amazonas in the middle of a script whose simplicity and lack of depth does not prevent him from being entertained.

The story, basically, an adaptation of Tarzan in female, that of a young girl whose parents were killed by a savage tribe of Amazons, led by a mysterious leader whom they follow and worship as a god. The girl grows in the middle of a wild environment, raised by the family steward and with a monkey as best friend and that after running into a missionary, who will confess the truth about their parents will decide to go in search of revenge.

However, along the way you will run into a shaman from an African tribe with magic tricks and a couple of archaeologists who will accompany you in your journey through the jungle to the Golden Temple of the Amazons.

The film, mostly of scenes, is accompanied by a series of melodies set perhaps to disguise the lack of dialogue, giving the film a clearly dreamlike tone.

The lack of budget is more than evident, but they all supplement with wonderful natural settings, and a temple that is not badly made, the story simple, but clear, the girl the Spanish actress Analía Ivars is beautiful, and together, her Good photography and good rhythm make it an entertaining and pleasant product to see without a doubt.

I am now the proud owner of 26 Jess Franco movies, and after buying this one (as part of the Shriek Show "Jungle Girls" set), I think it may be time to admit I have a problem and seek out the proper 12-step group.

A young girls is orphaned after her missionary parents are murdered by the titular (or should that be tit-ular?) Amazons. She decides to seek revenge (but not of course until she has matured into a sexy teenage Analia Ivers with large, succulent,and perpetually exposed breasts). With her pet monkey, a cartoonish African witch doctor, and some greedy explorers she sets off to find the Golden Temple of the Amazons. Although this is supposedly set in Africa and everyone else is black, the Amazons are all Nordic blonde girls for some reason. And in what is not exactly a blow for feminism, the legendary tribe of females has a male leader--a fat, middle-aged white guy who does little more than stage half-naked catfights and then rape the winner.

Franco fans are, of course, used to this kind of inanity--but even they are not used to this level of incompetent film-making. Frankly, this looks someone's home movies shot at the zoo after Dad has had a few too many beers (albeit with Mom and Big Sis taking their tops off a lot). It's also surprisingly tame--producer Daniel Lesseur even claims that it was supposed to be a family film! While I would never expose MY children to this kind of rampant nudity, bad taste, and incompetent film-making, he's right in that this certainly doesn't make it as an adult movie in any sense of the word. There is a hilarious scene where the older female explorer (let's call her "Mom")goes skinny-dipping and discovers a cave which she proceeds to explores without, you know, actually putting her clothes back on. Mostly though it's more smutty than erotic, such as the scene where the male explorer, played by a gray-bearded Anthony Mayans, is straddling the barely dressed, barely legal heroine as they ride an elephant and lasciviously tells her that he really isn't interested in being her father. Yep, fun for the whole family alright.

Remember the first step is to admit that we are powerless over Franco and that his films have become unwatchable.

Stupid scenes, bad acting, poor dialogue, lots of topless scenes. Liana (Analía Ivars) is the heroine and main character of the movie. You'll be seeing a lot of her. She'll be running around topless throughout the whole movie. Amazons kill her gold hungry missionary parents and Liana is raised in the jungle away from civilization. Although she does seem to find a way to maintain a perm. When she matures, Liana decides she has to avenge her parent's death and with an odd assortment of characters she picks up on her quest, she goes after the Amazons. Not that hard a task. I don't recall seeing more than 7 in any scene. The movie has lots of nudity, violence, but no real gore. There are some scenes that if it wasn't for the nudity, you might think it was a children's film. It's a very cheaply made film with lots of mistakes. The more you question things, the worse it gets. For me, this was one of those it's so bad it's good movies. It's entertaining in a humorous way. Not to be taken seriously. Wait until you meet the witch doctor Koukou. Watch this one for the laughs.

I really dont know where to begin, or end.... Bad bad acting, bad costumes BAD WIGS, bad sets (the golden walls in the mine is so obviously painted tin foil), ...Out of the 11 or so "amazon" women, not one of them looks like she ever worked out a DAY in her life.. Flab, banana boobs, cottage cheese arses, ...If it cost more than ten bucks and a pizza party to make this movie, i'd be shocked...........its really really bad.. Filmmakers, watch this movie please so you know what directioin NOT to go on ...

It says so, so much about this film that it was originally a production helmed by infamous Spanish schlock maestro Jesús Franco. How much of the finished work reflects Franco's original vision, such as it may have been, and how much reflects adaptation by Georges Friedland and completion by Alain Payet, is an interesting question, and one to which I don't have the answer. It also doesn't matter, however, because I'm sure the end result would not have meaningfully differed. From the very first minutes we're treated to very tiresome and very gratuitous nudity, awful acting, terrible direction, excruciating dialogue, sometimes questionable cinematography, bland and repetitive music, recycled shots, racist tropes, hideous editing, scene and narrative writing that would be laughable if they weren't so wretchedly bad, and costume design, hair, and makeup that are just plain dubious. From the very first minutes this is weak, thin, flimsy, unconvincing, exhausting, aggravating, and in all other ways rotten, and I've barely scraped the surface of all the necessary criticism. Please, please take a word of advice from someone who will watch anything, who approached this out of a sense of curiosity, and who deeply regrets her decision: 'Les amazones du temple d'or,' or 'Golden Temple Amazons,' is completely without value, and no one should watch it.

Franco wasn't exactly known as a master filmmaker, but at least some of his pictures ranged from good to earnestly enjoyable. Was this a misfire from the time he first conceived of it? Were his other works a lucky mistake? Was Payet an astoundingly poor filmmaker himself, or was he just following Franco's lead to the letter? I think these are all very reasonable things to ponder, but in this instance we readily have at least part of an answer. One quick glance at other titles credited to Payet show that he mostly made his living off of pornography of one level or another. This isn't to say that filmmakers in the adult entertainment sector can't possess real skill, but it's safe to say that quality varies wildly, and there's also a world of difference between XXX videos and the production of full-length features. Or at least, there usually is; one way or another, given all the nudity that the camera lingers upon here - not to mention consistent dashes of misogyny, and the otherwise meager, floundering nature of the project - it's fairly evident that Payet approached this 1986 dumpster fire as little more than another one of his skin flicks. If one was feeling generous perhaps one could posit that the man just wasn't taking this seriously in any measure.

Is there anything of worth here? Anything at all? Certainly not the characters, bearing no intelligence as they are written and being unlikable from one to the next. Certainly not the notes of patriarchy, redefining the Amazonian mythology. I guess the filming locations are nice, and some aspects of the sets are half okay. Excessive as it is, the footage of animals is a welcome, brief, irregular diversion. And if nothing else about 'Les amazones du temple d'or' is true, we viewers will revel in the fact of the short runtime of less than ninety minutes. I'll even grant that in fairness, there are faint shades throughout of what might have been good ideas, thoughts that might have been shaped into a more appreciable B-movie in someone else's hands. Yet the unwavering truth is that this film, as we see it, is absolute, unremitting rubbish from top to bottom. Incredibly, I have actually seen titles that were even worse, but let's be perfectly honest, at this level the distinction is totally meaningless. Once more, I beg of you: however it is you came across this picture, whatever it is you think you'll get out of it, it's garbage that deserves to be forgotten. Anything else is far more worth your time, and will offer whatever it is you thought you'd find here and won't. You've been warned.