Joe Mantegna credited as playing...
Nate Kurtzman
- Ada Kurtzman: [about Ben's Halloween costume dressed as Hitler] Your father says you're not going out dressed that way.
- Ben Kurtzman: And I'm not changing.
- Ada Kurtzman: He says he's not changing.
- Nate Kurtzman: I wanna talk to Hitler.
- Ada Kurtzman: He has a swastika on his arm and big black boots! He's wearing big black boots! He came down the stairs in them with swastikas all over!
- Nate Kurtzman: Put the Führer on the phone!
- Ada Kurtzman: Your father wants to talk to you. Sorry!
- Ben Kurtzman: [to his friends] You guys can go without me. Yeah, I'm having Halloween here.
- Nate Kurtzman: The government doesn't know from shit. They integrate the golf courses in '51, and schools in '54. Where's their priorities?
- Louie: They integrated the cricket field in Clifton Park back in '50. Can't find a colored person who plays cricket.
- Pete, Nate's Assistant: I beg to differ. That was part of the separate but equal ruling. The coloreds could only play cricket on Tuesdays.
- Louie: You can't find a colored person who wants to play cricket on Tuesday, Wednesday, or Kiss-My-Tuchis-Day.
- Charlie, Nate's Assistant: For that matter, you can't find a white person who wants to play cricket. What is it with that game? It makes no sense. How many players do you need there? What do they use, a mallet or something?
- Pete, Nate's Assistant: Isn't that the one with the hoops?
- Charlie, Nate's Assistant: That's croquet.
- Louie: Nah, croquet is something you eat.
- Nate Kurtzman: Everything is something you eat.
- Louie: No, I saw it here on the menu.