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What is the English language plot outline for Io tigro, tu tigri, egli tigra (1978)?

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Three short stories full of absurd Italian humor. Uno: Oddjobs man Elia is hired to be a waiter and soon finds himself caught up in a plot to knock off his mistress (in more ways than one). Due: Della is convinced that aliens are on their way to consume the world and before long ends up a guinea pig on a spaceship from the planet Phobos. Tre: Roberto becomes a Bersaglieri in the Italian army and nearly causes a war between Italy and Switzerland over a packet of cigarettes.

Enrico Montesano, Renato Pozzetto, and Paolo Villaggio in Io tigro, tu tigri, egli tigra (1978)

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Io tigro, tu tigri, egli tigra

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